Photo Caption Contest
Photo for the week of February 20, 2006:
(L to R front: Richard Nixon and Jack; rear: Milton Berle, George Burns, Eddie Fisher, Danny Thomas)
And the winner is...
You might want to tell the Secret Service to ignore Danny Thomas. Despite appearances, he's really not an angry fanatic Arab terrorist. - Jean Ann Wilson
And the submissions are...
Jack, to RMN: Dick, I'm telling you, listen very carefully like these fellas and you CAN hear the 18-1/2 minutes of expletives deleted!! - Clyde
Anyway, Mr Nixon, after my boys here broke into Fred Allen's office and swiped his script, I never had any trouble from him again!! - JimP
Dick, I told you Danny was self-conscious about his nose, so will you stop staring? - T. Opper
We need to work on your humor, Dick. You might incite protests in Lebanon with that joke about wishing you had Danny's nose full of nickles. - Tysano
Jack: Listen, Dick, Transcribed for release at a more convenient time might not be a good idea for you in the White House. - dj
I hate to tell you this, but Berle just stole your last shrimp. - Natale
Just between you and me, Dick. You sure no one is listening in on our little secret campaign? The 'I can't stand Richard Nixon' contest? - Brian Baker
For my money, Eddie would be your best running mate. Imagine weekends with Liz at Camp David. - Debra Lyn
Easily, Berle would make the best CIA Director. He's an expert at stealing material belonging to someone else. - Dean Christopher
I assured the boys you'd understand. After all, we're entertainers. What do we know about paying taxes? - Lauren V.
You see, Dick, the boys and I were thinking you'd want to pick up the check in exchange for 5 votes. - D. Bralyn
...and when we say JFK's leftovers aren't half bad, we're not talking table scraps! - Mimi McRodriquezstein
So what if Kennedy has Sinatra and the Rat Pack? We can give you Vaudeville and Henny Youngman. - Lauren Marie
Ignore them, Dick. It's just an old habit from stealing other people's material. - F.V.
Pretend they're not there. They're hoping you'll pay for their lunch too. - Ty
Pay no attention to Danny. He started out in show business with a Lebanese hypnotism act. - Chrissy Fur
Four more years, Dick? Well! When you say 'I beg your pardon' Then I'll come back to you. Hit it boys! - Misha Golden
Speaking of politics making strange bedfellows, I know this quaint little Bed & Breakfast where George Washington slept! - Alan Johns
Now Richard...let me tell you something! Now these guys think their comedians; but when the check comes the joke will be on them brother! - Troy,Canada
Jack: Dick, I'd be more than honored to be your Vice-Presidential running mate. Richard: I'm sorry Jack, but you've misunderstood me. I was asking you if you'd please pass that plate of shrimp scampi. - r.p.
You see, the fellas and I have a lot of spare time on our hands since the Beatles, so we thought if there were any openings in the Secret Service... - P. Tierra
You might want to tell the Secret Service to ignore Danny Thomas. Despite appearances, he's really not an angry fanatic Arab terrorist. - Jean Ann Wilson
You know, Dick, for the sake of conversation, you might find it interesting that Kennedy picked up the entire tab for lunch when he was here. - Val E. Center
Danny is kind of sensitive. I think it was that remark about Kennedy beating you by a nose that got him upset. - Frank V.
Listen, Mr. President, this is kind of a dirty joke. It takes about eighteen minutes to tell...hmm, maybe you'd better tape it. - Brad from Georgia
You know, you're the first politician to speak here at the Club For Hearing Impaired Comedians. - L. Fiff
A word of caution. Thomas and Berle work together. While Danny grabs your attention, Milton grabs your wallet. - Tysano
Don't mind Danny. He thinks by looking into a politician's eyes he can tell if he's a crook. Isn't that ridiculous? - Lauren Marie
they are betting to see if i'm gone before the check arrives. excuse me while i use the washroom. - w.rundle
Mr. Vice President, you don't think anyone's listening to our discussion, do you? - Philip G. Harwood
RN: Geez, Jack, must your friends listen in on all our conversations? Can't we just send them the tapes later? - Liz
Don't mind Danny Thomas. He's never seen a Republican before. - Dean Christopher
Believe me. With your sense of humor, you'll need one of us to be your running mate. - L.M.V.
Be careful tricky dicky, you never know who's listening . - joe plowman
What a coincidence. Who would have thought that you and Berle were both nicknamed Tricky Dick? - Natale
It's that Lebanese coffe. Danny will be alright in a minute. - Tysano
You see, the five of us are on the road all the time, so when we heard about this thing called taxes, we were taken by surprise. - E. Egg
As long as I'm Secretary Of The Treasury, Danny will just have to be satisfied with Ambassador To Lebanon. - D. Bralyn
Say, Dick... you've got nothing against eavesdropping, have you? - L.J.S.
Well-- since you say it's vital to national security, the combination to my vault is... - S.F.
Lookit, Dick, it'll be great. We'll all do the show together on tape, and if you make a mistake, we can just erase it. - J.H.
Isn't it funny? With the minimum age of thirty-five in order to be President, I would have only be eligible for the first time in the last election. - L.M.V.
Did we just hear a deleted expletive? - Pam Dunn
We'll all get together at the Watergate for a drink after the show! - Venida Korda
Listen Richie, I told you these fellas are NOT 'THE SPORTSMEN QUARTET'! I can out-hmmmm...them any old time!! - Betty O'Brien
I don't care if they did sing four part harmony while they waited on us. This is the no tipping section and I intend to keep it that way. - Ken Behrens