Photo Caption Contest

Photo for the week of April 7, 2003:

AND THE WINNER IS...

My goodness Mary! What have you been feeding this bird? BEANS?!! – Betty O’Brien

The contributions are...

  1. I don't care what you say- there's always room for Jello. - R. L. Mason  

  2. What bird, Mary?  Gimme that, Allen! I saw the penny under the fence first! - Bob Pennock           

  3. The script said to cue ‘Love in Bloom’, ya see, not ‘Dove in Room!!’  Now, cut that out!!! - Dave Stephens

  4. Suddenly, Mary began to wonder if Jack’s new hat wasn’t the perfect gift, after all – Dave  Stephens         

  5. Jack was livid, Fred was confused, and Mary began to wonder if Jack's efforts to promote world peace had gone too far.. - Dave Stephens

  6. Mary: Now where can that pigeon be ? – Michael Scott

  7. My goodness Mary! What have you been feeding this bird? BEANS?!! – Betty O’Brien

  8. The Dove says: And they call me a dumb bird. Well!!! – Howard Rosenberg

  9. What did I wash your hair with?  Oh, I remember. Birdseed! – Jeff Bruce

  10. Jack, I told you that we shouldn't have gone to Remley for dental work. – Nate Gordon

  11. Mr. Benny, would you please tell that bird I was referring to your violin playing when I said it stinks! – Betty O’Brien

  12. Darn you, Allen! Tell your homing pigeon it's NOT her nest! – Frev

  13. Could it have been my cooking? – Roger Weiss

  14. I think Jack is ahead is being the first to lay an egg here. – Alan Magill

  15. Your audiences don't change, do they Mr Benny? – Ken Miller

  16. Mary:  Did I turn the iron off? – Richard S. Perry

  17. What kind of face would you make if a dove pooped on your head? - Chuck Carson

  18. Jack Benny expected Fred Allen to give him the bird, but not like this! – Michael J. Hayde

  19. You think the doves are bad, wait till you meet the hawks. – Steve Smith

  20. If this darn bird flies away with my toupee I'll just die! Stop encouraging it Allen! Help me Mary! - John Matthews

  21. A bird in the hand is NOT worth two nuts by the fence. - Tom Trethewey

  22. Fred Allen:  "I know it's tax time, Mr. B, but it's the stork that brings tax exemptions not the pigeon!" - Gary Robertson

  23. Hmmmm..right now they BOTH look like birdbrains! - Melanie Aultman

  24. Now cut that out, Dennis!  Turn yourself back again!!! - Bruce Crowley

  25. I hope Rodgers and Hammerstein are writing another musical for me, because these two are just driving me insane! - Philip G. Harwood

  26. "See Mary, you didn't think I could do it. But I managed to get Jack's wallet from him. Portland said using this dove as a distraction.” - William Hardie

  27. "Jack Benny is so cheap, he won't spend the gas to pick up his toupee, he has it couriered back from the barber!" Fred Allen - Brad Zinn

  28. "Jack, I knew you couldn't play 'The Bee' but now I see you can't play 'La Paloma' either!" Fred Allen - Brad Zinn

  29. "What do you mean Alfred Hitchcock's idea of making a movie about birds that attack people is silly, Jack?" - Brad Zinn

  30. No Allen, I don't care what you say; I certainly am not a bird brain!!! - Buckey Grimm

  31. I always thought Fred Allen was for the birds. - Barbara Thunell

  32. Now STOP that! It WON'T come off... I hate Polly's replacement! - S. Hamarain

  33. Where did you say you got the eggs for breakfast, Mary? – Eric Brolund

  34. "It's a SPITE fence, Allen!  Because you're still around in SPITE of everything!" – Bob Baker

  35. Ouch! NOW CUT THAT OUT!! I gave your eggs back, now you can stop pecking our heads looking for them. Hmmm...they're too small for the Easter basket anyway! – Betty O’Brien

  36. Mary: Well Fred Pay UP!
    Jack: Pay up what's that all about Mary?
    Fred: Well, I said to Mary yesterday "I'll bet that there is no creature on the face of the earth with more cheap in it than Jack Benny.” – David Mackson

  37. I could have sworn that joke laid an egg – Joe Greco