www.jackbenny.org

by **LLeff** » Sun Aug 21, 2005 10:54 am

So per Kathy's question, here's a challenge for you all. No prizes, just fun.

Complete the phrase "I can't stand Jack Benny because..." in 50 words or less. What can YOU come up with?

by **Kathy FS** » Thu Aug 25, 2005 7:42 am

(suitably long pause)...I'm thinking it over! I'm thinking it over!
What rhymes with "Waukegan" anyway? I was going to try a limerick.
Kathy

by **David47Jens** » Fri Aug 26, 2005 12:44 am

I can't stand Jack Benny because of two reasons. First, he lied about his age, saying he was 39, when anyone can see that he was truly ageless. Secondly, he really was a stingy guy; he had the nerve to leave us although we need him now more than ever.

by **Alan** » Fri Aug 26, 2005 7:56 am

I can't stand Jack Benny because...

no matter how hard i try to compete,
his prices on same-day-drycleans just can't be beat!

Alan

(ok, ...Tackaberry i ain't :lol: )

by **River Phoenix** » Sun Aug 28, 2005 4:34 am

I can't stand Jack because I am Fred Allen.

by **shimp scrampi** » Mon Aug 29, 2005 7:19 am

A modest limerick for Kathy:

You ask what irks me ‘bout Benny,
It’s not just that he’s tight with a penny -
He fiddles in vain,
it grinds in my brain
Where I once had a mind I’ve not any.

As for what rhymes with Waukegan, I dunno, but we're all lucky Jack isn't from 'Nantucket'.... :shock:

by **River Phoenix** » Sun Oct 30, 2005 1:24 am

I can't stand Jack Benny because I blame him for my emphesyma.

by **bboswell** » Mon Oct 31, 2005 6:20 am

shimp scrampi wrote:As for what rhymes with Waukegan, I dunno, but we're all lucky Jack isn't from 'Nantucket'....

Well, it's a stretch, but here goes...

There once was a boy from Waukegan
(Though Chi-town was where his life began)
If troubles you know
Tune in to his show
'Cause none makes you smile like he can.

(I like a good challenge.)

by **Maxwell** » Mon Oct 31, 2005 5:27 pm

bboswell wrote:
shimp scrampi wrote:As for what rhymes with Waukegan, I dunno, but we're all lucky Jack isn't from 'Nantucket'....

Well, it's a stretch, but here goes...

There once was a boy from Waukegan
(Though Chi-town was where his life began)
If troubles you know
Tune in to his show
'Cause none makes you smile like he can.

(I like a good challenge.)

Began with Waukegan is really stretching it! Maybe you could change it to"

There once was a boy from Waukegan
In the same state as the Prez not named Reegan....

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New "I can't stand Jack Benny because" contest

New "I can't stand Jack Benny because" contest

I can't stand Jack Benny because....

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