Photo Caption Contest

Photo for the week of February 20, 2006:

(L to R front:  Richard Nixon and Jack;  rear:  Milton Berle, George Burns, Eddie Fisher, Danny Thomas)

And the winner is...

You might want to tell the Secret Service to ignore Danny Thomas. Despite appearances, he's really not an angry fanatic Arab terrorist. - Jean Ann Wilson

And the submissions are...

  1. Jack, to RMN: Dick, I'm telling you, listen very carefully like these fellas and you CAN hear the 18-1/2 minutes of expletives deleted!! - Clyde

  2. Anyway, Mr Nixon, after my boys here broke into Fred Allen's office and swiped his script, I never had any trouble from him again!! - JimP

  3. Dick, I told you Danny was self-conscious about his nose, so will you stop staring? - T. Opper

  4. We need to work on your humor, Dick. You might incite protests in Lebanon with that joke about wishing you had Danny's nose full of nickles. - Tysano

  5. Jack: Listen, Dick, Transcribed for release at a more convenient time might not be a good idea for you in the White House. - dj

  6. I hate to tell you this, but Berle just stole your last shrimp. - Natale

  7. Just between you and me, Dick. You sure no one is listening in on our little secret campaign? The 'I can't stand Richard Nixon' contest? - Brian Baker

  8. For my money, Eddie would be your best running mate. Imagine weekends with Liz at Camp David. - Debra Lyn

  9. Easily, Berle would make the best CIA Director. He's an expert at stealing material belonging to someone else. - Dean Christopher

  10. I assured the boys you'd understand. After all, we're entertainers. What do we know about paying taxes? - Lauren V.

  11. You see, Dick, the boys and I were thinking you'd want to pick up the check in exchange for 5 votes. - D. Bralyn

  12. ...and when we say JFK's leftovers aren't half bad, we're not talking table scraps! - Mimi McRodriquezstein

  13. So what if Kennedy has Sinatra and the Rat Pack? We can give you Vaudeville and Henny Youngman. - Lauren Marie

  14. Ignore them, Dick. It's just an old habit from stealing other people's material. - F.V.

  15. Pretend they're not there. They're hoping you'll pay for their lunch too. - Ty

  16. Pay no attention to Danny. He started out in show business with a Lebanese hypnotism act. - Chrissy Fur

  17. Four more years, Dick? Well! When you say 'I beg your pardon'  Then I'll come back to you. Hit it boys! - Misha Golden

  18. Speaking of politics making strange bedfellows, I know this quaint little Bed & Breakfast where George Washington slept! - Alan Johns

  19. Now Richard...let me tell you something! Now these guys think their comedians; but when the check comes the joke will be on them brother! - Troy,Canada

  20. Jack: Dick, I'd be more than honored to be your Vice-Presidential running mate. Richard: I'm sorry Jack, but you've misunderstood me. I was asking you if you'd please pass that plate of shrimp scampi. - r.p.

  21. You see, the fellas and I have a lot of spare time on our hands since the Beatles, so we thought if there were any openings in the Secret Service... - P. Tierra

  22. You might want to tell the Secret Service to ignore Danny Thomas. Despite appearances, he's really not an angry fanatic Arab terrorist. - Jean Ann Wilson

  23. You know, Dick, for the sake of conversation, you might find it interesting that Kennedy picked up the entire tab for lunch when he was here. - Val E. Center

  24. Danny is kind of sensitive. I think it was that remark about Kennedy beating you by a nose that got him upset. - Frank V.

  25. Listen, Mr. President, this is kind of a dirty joke. It takes about eighteen minutes to tell...hmm, maybe you'd better tape it. - Brad from Georgia

  26. You know, you're the first politician to speak here at the Club For Hearing Impaired Comedians. - L. Fiff

  27. A word of caution. Thomas and Berle work together. While Danny grabs your attention, Milton grabs your wallet. - Tysano

  28. Don't mind Danny. He thinks by looking into a politician's eyes he can tell if he's a crook. Isn't that ridiculous? - Lauren Marie

  29. they are betting to see if i'm gone before the check arrives. excuse me while i use the washroom. - w.rundle

  30. Mr. Vice President, you don't think anyone's listening to our discussion, do you? - Philip G. Harwood

  31. RN: Geez, Jack, must your friends listen in on all our conversations? Can't we just send them the tapes later? - Liz

  32. Don't mind Danny Thomas. He's never seen a Republican before. - Dean Christopher

  33. Believe me. With your sense of humor, you'll need one of us to be your running mate. - L.M.V.

  34. Be careful tricky dicky, you never know who's listening . - joe plowman

  35. What a coincidence. Who would have thought that you and Berle were both nicknamed Tricky Dick? - Natale

  36. It's that Lebanese coffe. Danny will be alright in a minute. - Tysano

  37. You see, the five of us are on the road all the time, so when we heard about this thing called taxes, we were taken by surprise. - E. Egg

  38. As long as I'm Secretary Of The Treasury, Danny will just have to be satisfied with Ambassador To Lebanon. - D. Bralyn

  39. Say, Dick... you've got nothing against eavesdropping, have you? - L.J.S.

  40. Well-- since you say it's vital to national security, the combination to my vault is... - S.F.

  41. Lookit, Dick, it'll be great. We'll all do the show together on tape, and if you make a mistake, we can just erase it. - J.H.

  42. Isn't it funny? With the minimum age of thirty-five in order to be President, I would have only be eligible for the first time in the last election. - L.M.V.

  43. Did we just hear a deleted expletive? - Pam Dunn

  44. We'll all get together at the Watergate for a drink after the show! - Venida Korda

  45. Listen Richie, I told you these fellas are NOT 'THE SPORTSMEN QUARTET'! I can out-hmmmm...them any old time!! - Betty O'Brien

  46. I don't care if they did sing four part harmony while they waited on us. This is the no tipping section and I intend to keep it that way. - Ken Behrens

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