IJBFC Chat - June 17, 2007

(Name of message originator in [] brackets at the beginning of each line)

[steve 'shimp'] Hey Laura

[Laura Leff] Hi folks

[Laura Leff] Apologies...minor technical difficulties

[Brad from Georgia] Dad also loved wrasslin'. I can boast, if that's the word, of having seen Haystack Calhoun in the considerable flesh. HI, LL!

[Maxwell] I'll be seeing a White Sox game tomorrow and the Midwest League All-Star Game Tuesay, so I'll have my fill of baseball.

[Maxwell] Hey LL.

[Laura Leff] The Red Sox were out here in Oakland a couple weeks ago, so I got my fill then.

[steve 'shimp'] My niece Gracie just had her first minor league game, saw the Lansing Lugnuts.

[Maxwell] I remember Haystacks.

[Laura Leff] Now if only the Red Sox had won more...

[steve 'shimp'] They have a team song, that goes "everybody go nuts, go nuts go nuts..." etc.

[steve 'shimp'] Which I heard endlessly on the phone...

[Maxwell] Some of them will probably be in the game Tuesday.

[Laura Leff] Funny...the As' mascot is an elephant, and they have a thing for the video that shows the elephant

[Laura Leff] and says "Make NOISE...go NUTS!"

[steve 'shimp'] A's games are fun, do they still have dollar days?

[Brad from Georgia] If I stay here, I'll go nuts, hooray, hooray, hooray....

[Laura Leff] Yup, and dollar dogs. I think I've only been to one of them.

[steve 'shimp'] Went to a few in my Berkeley days...

[Maxwell] Reminds me of an old Scoey Mitchlll joke about an ex-Marine sergeant who took some people from a mental hospital to a ballgame.

[Laura Leff] Thank you, Captain Spaulding

[Maxwell] The punchline was PEANUTS!

[steve 'shimp']  

[Laura Leff] Maxwell - Do you remember anything in between?

[steve 'shimp'] Can't be as good as what I just mentally filled in.

[Maxwell] That's all you really need to know.

[Laura Leff] Since I happen to know that everyone here is of age, and I can edit the transcript...

[Brad from Georgia] "Excuse me, bartender, I keep hearing a small voice complimenting me." "It's the peanuts, sir. They're complimentary."

[Laura Leff] I can fill it in too...

[steve 'shimp']   @ brad too

[Laura Leff] The man who goes to his psychiatrist wrapped only in saran wrap...

[Laura Leff] In any event, how's everyone doing tonight?

[Brad from Georgia] Doin' good. Nice Father's day weekend.

[Laura Leff] And did the Red Sox beat the Giants?

[Maxwell] Doing good.

[steve 'shimp'] Doing well. I was just saying before you came in I had an earful at the National Hollerin' Championship yesterday.

[Maxwell] Except for the White Sox. They stink.

[Laura Leff] Steve - I didn't know you were far enough south for that

[Brad from Georgia] "Zo zese two peanutz valked down a dark alley...und von vas ASSAULTED peanut! You vill now laugh."

[steve 'shimp'] Well, I had to drive another 3 1/2 hours to Spivey's Corner, NC

[Laura Leff] Wah wah wah wahhhhh

[Maxwell] Vas you dere Scharlie?

[Laura Leff] Wanna buy a duck?

[steve 'shimp'] Verrry Interesting.

[Laura Leff] Gentlemen, you can't fight in here...this is the war room!

[steve 'shimp'] We're starting goofy early tonight...

[Brad from Georgia] So LL, I was just sayin--my grandparents loved "Lum and Abner," and there was a "Jot 'Em Down" store not far from their farm.

[Laura Leff] OK, time for the next random punch line

[Brad from Georgia] Mickey Mouse: "I didn't say Minnie was CRAZY, doctor...."

[Laura Leff] Brad - Like THE Jot Em Down Store? In Mena?

[Laura Leff] Er, near Mena?

[steve 'shimp'] This is the first Lum and Abner I've ever heard.

[Laura Leff] Steve - And what did you think of it, pray tell?

[Brad from Georgia] LL-Yep. I wondered if the store was named after the radio show's store, of if there was a chain of 'em thru the South.

[Maxwell] Probably was.

[steve 'shimp'] It was kinda cute. I could see myself listening to some more.

[Laura Leff] Lauck and Goff based their characters on many real people.

[Maxwell] Lum and Abner were pretty popular.

[Maxwell] Hey Scott

[steve 'shimp'] Hiya Scott

[yhtapmys] Laura, sorry I missed it, but did you explain why there were references to Bill Morrow. The audience never would have gotten it.

[steve 'shimp'] Was Postum General Foods?

[Laura Leff] I'd have to look up when L&A went to General Foods

[Laura Leff] Yht - I think both Jack and Bill were friends with Tuffy Goff.

[Maxwell] Steve, one of the original products. It was invented by C.W. Post.

[yhtapmys] Well, still...

[Brad from Georgia] Postum was General Foods, yes. It's made from what's left over at the bottom of the Jell-O and Grape-Nuts Flake processing bins.

[Laura Leff] Yht - More of an inside joke.

[yhtapmys] Never leave the audience confused like that.

[Laura Leff] Yht - Well, remember on King for a Day that Jack says, "Gee, Bill Morrow used to write for ME."

[yhtapmys] I prefer inside jokes that have a meaning to the listener.

[Brad from Georgia] That "Dust Bowl with stirngs" gag of Jack's was pretty contemporary, then.

[Mike Amo]   Brad!

[yhtapmys] The Morrow one on Fred Allen, worked though, ecause context was provided.

[steve 'shimp'] OK, I was half right, Postum is mostly wheat bran and molasses. I still think it's tasty despite Brad's disparagement!

[Laura Leff] I like Jack flipping into the hick accent. He loved that Buck Benny character.

[Brad from Georgia] Has anyone other then me actually drunk Postum--I see shimp has!

[steve 'shimp'] (thanks to wikipedia)

[Maxwell] Never have.

[yhtapmys] Steve, in my newspaper hunt, I found ads for Corn-Soy Wheat Shreds. I guess they didn't last long.

[Brad from Georgia] I drank it as a kid, but then I also drank hot Ovaltine.

[Maxwell] steve I looked that up this afternoon, too.

[Laura Leff] Yht - With a name like that, it's got to be...um...hearty?

[Mike Amo] I knew of its existence as a kid...not sure if it was still around when I was one though

[steve 'shimp'] Corn-Soy-Wheat Shreds? That's a lotta fiber!

[Maxwell] More Ovaltine, please!

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[Maxwell] It's still around now, Mike.

[yhtapmys] Kellogg's made it.

[Brad from Georgia] I just drank the stuff to get the Captain Midnight decoder ring.

[Mike Amo] It is?!?   

[Laura Leff] Oo! Duelling maxwells!

[yhtapmys] Sounds obscene.

[steve 'shimp'] Maxwell, you've been cloned 28 times! Hi other Maxwell!

[Mike Amo] Wow, maybe I can still find Bosco

[Brad from Georgia] Hi, Max-2!

User maxwell 29 has logged out.

[Maxwell] Mike, I haven't see Bosco in years...and I used to love that stuff.

[Laura Leff] I was just hearing a bunch of Woodbury Soap ads the other day.

[steve 'shimp'] They still make Bosco too.

[Laura Leff] Bosco is a cartoon character.

[Mike Amo] How about Dux?

[Brad from Georgia] "I love Bosco, it's the drink for me! Mama puts it in my milk, it's rich and chocolate-y!"

[Laura Leff] I miss Super Suds

[steve 'shimp'] What are Dux?

[yhtapmys] Is that like Duz?

[yhtapmys] It Duz Everything!

[Mike Amo] lol, oops

[Laura Leff] Duz x Lux = Dux

[Brad from Georgia] Wash your waterfowl in Dux, and they'll gleam like geese!

[Laura Leff] Brad -   

[Maxwell] Dux later became Downy.

[Laura Leff] Dux...it will dwive you qwackers

[Brad from Georgia] Say, how do you get downy off a dux?

[Mike Amo] Got my Lux and Duz twisted :D

[Laura Leff] Mike - At least it's clean.

[Maxwell] But do they still make Lux?

[steve 'shimp'] If they were a hollywood couple they'd be D-Lux

[Laura Leff] Max - Hmmm

[Maxwell] Lux presents Hollywood

[Mike Amo] LL, lol, you were faster than me on the Lux connection

[Laura Leff] You know, they still make Bromo Seltzer but it's darn near impossible to find

[Maxwell] Do they make Brioschi?

[Laura Leff] At least out here

[yhtapmys] No problem here in Canada, Laura.

[Laura Leff] Supposedly they still make Sen Sen

[Brad from Georgia] And completely impossible to forget. Sort of like the time I brushed my teeth with Ben-Gay.

[Laura Leff] Yht - I ought to have you send me a bottle.

[yhtapmys] By train?

[Maxwell] Tryin' to cover a telltale breath with Sen Sen, one fine night....

[steve 'shimp'] Sen Sen aren't really worth the hunt!

[Laura Leff] Brad - Hey, someone just died from something like that...

[Brad from Georgia] I never touch Aspercreme, LL!

[steve 'shimp'] Unless you like things that look suspiciously like mouse droppings with a licorice taste.

[Mike Amo] I never met Sal Halpetica

[yhtapmys] Is his sister Sue?

[Mike Amo] Si

[Brad from Georgia] I think Michael Corleone whacked Sal Hepatica.

[yhtapmys] Sal?

[Maxwell] Si

[Laura Leff] C-R-E-S-T-A...

[yhtapmys] After the whackng, What did Sal do?

[Laura Leff] B-L-A-N-C-A

[Mike Amo] Sigh

[yhtapmys] No, sue.

[Maxwell] Si

[Brad from Georgia] He sleeps with the fishes. Pervert.

[Laura Leff] Heard a Lifebuoy commercial the other day that started with a woman singing about

[steve 'shimp'] BEEEEE OOOOOOHH

[Laura Leff] how she's all alone, by the telephone, she wants someone to call, but nobody bothers with here

[Laura Leff] her...why oh why....

[Laura Leff] Then what Shimp said.

[yhtapmys] That sold soap?

[Brad from Georgia] "All alone, by the telephone, I'm smellin' up the room....all alone, I'm so all alone, in a room of fumes and gloom..."

[Laura Leff] Yht - I think they're still around, so maybe it did.

[steve 'shimp'] So few ads use shame anymore. No one has any!

[Maxwell] Fear sells cosmetics and cleaning/grooming items.

[Laura Leff] Why oh why oh why do they always call me stinky...

[Laura Leff] Maxwell - Fear sells pharmaceuticals too.

[Maxwell] True that.

[Brad from Georgia] "Use Metamucil so you won' get cancer and die!"

[steve 'shimp'] I might have acid refluxing restless legs!

[yhtapmys] Now! Look younger with bacteria eating you! New, improved Botox!

[Maxwell] I did, too, but now I take the purple pill.

[Laura Leff] Yht - Funny you mention that...there was a recording of some Woodbury executive saying how they'd introduced bacteria into their soap to make it now a DEODORANT soap

[Maxwell] D.O. Dorant!

[Brad from Georgia] "I tried takin' Vigoro, doc, but it don't help." "You idiot, that's a FERTILIZER!" "Oh. Ohhhh--THAT explains the berries, then!"

[Laura Leff] Jack never used fear or shame to sell any of his products

[Laura Leff] Maxwell - D'oh

[yhtapmys] Ohhh! Fertilizer!

[steve 'shimp'] Don't fear Luckies, kids... smoke a WHOLE LOT OF THEM. Nothing to worry about here...

[Laura Leff] Any newbies reading this transcript are going to be totally lost. Oh well.

[yhtapmys] You'd think Don's portliness would not be a selling point.

[Maxwell] LM/MFT, LS/MFT

[Brad from Georgia] Don: "Ladies, have you served Jell-O lately? No? Shame--SHAME on you!"

[yhtapmys] Well, Luckies do taste better!

[yhtapmys] And more doctors recommend them.

[Brad from Georgia] They taste better than Ben-Gay, I can tell you that.

[yhtapmys] Or something like that.

[steve 'shimp'] Jello is not for the shy or easily embarassed. It's too wiggly.

[Maxwell] Or Vick's Vapo Rub

[Laura Leff] There was an ad for a while about how more college students smoked Luckies than any other brand

[yhtapmys] All dead now.

[Laura Leff] We get 'em younger than anyone else

[Brad from Georgia] My mom loved Vick's Vapo Rub. She'd give it to someone having a heart attack.

[yhtapmys] I wonder if the Beavers got them for appearing.

[Maxwell] My mom sticks Vapo Rub up her nose when she has a cold.

[Mike Amo] Just mentioned VapoRub the other day, much prefer it to mustard plaster

[Laura Leff] Brad - I remember there was a gag on the show about Rochester making Jack an omelette filled with Vick's Vapo-Rub.

[Laura Leff] Yht - I'll ask Harry Shearer

[Brad from Georgia] I put it on our cat when it was sick once. Not only did it cough up hairballs, but they were on fire.

[Laura Leff] Maxwell - I use Mentholatum for that. Good for a red overblown nose.


[Brad from Georgia] "My love is like a red, red nose, that's newly blown in June."

[Laura Leff] Brad - I should E-mail you a story I got the other day about creative use of Chap Stick on a cat.

[Brad from Georgia] LL--I'm not sure I want to know!

[Mike Amo] My stepfather passed away May 3rd, invented Chap Stick!

[Maxwell] I do! I do!

[Laura Leff] So if Jack was going to sell, let's say, Lifebuoy, how would he have done it?

[Laura Leff] Mike - No kidding!

[Mike Amo] Never used it on a cat...that I know of!   

[yhtapmys] I loved Harry on Fernwood Tonight.

[Mike Amo] Also invented the bubble wand! I thought that kind of came with the wheel...apparently came with Bubble-O in the late 1940s or so

[Laura Leff] Don would probably have required a whole cake of soap for one shower, I suppose.

[Brad from Georgia] "Folks, Lifbuoy soap gets you cleaner than a peeled potato can do."

[Mike Amo] At his funeral, they passed out Chap Stick and Bubble-O

[Laura Leff] Lathers better too

[Laura Leff] Hey, I used to love Bubble-O as a kid.

[Mike Amo] By the way, Happy Father'

[Mike Amo] s Day

[Brad from Georgia] Mike, I read about your father-in-law! Condolences.

[Laura Leff] They'd sometimes give out bottles as favors at parties.

[Mike Amo] oops, fingers slipped on soap bubbles

[yhtapmys] Didnt Lifebuoy sponsor Jolson?

[Mike Amo] Thanks Brad, he was 95 so it was okay

[Maxwell] Bubble-O works much better than Lifebuoy for blowing bubbles.

[Laura Leff] Yht - Yes, I believe so.

[Laura Leff] I know Kraft did

[Mike Amo] And he was doing pretty good right up to 2 weeks before he passed, even played handball until age 87

[Maxwell] Kraft was in towards the end of his life, I think.

[Mike Amo] Saw Jack Benny at the Palace in 1925

[Laura Leff] Mike - Good for him! Sounds like Irving, who was still playing tennis until rather recently (and may still be again).

[yhtapmys] Who else was on the bill, Mike?

[Mike Amo] Been forgetting to mention one story for a few months

[Laura Leff] Max - Right, in the Oscar Levant days.

[Laura Leff] Mike - Fascinating...I have a trade ad of his from that time that he was on the Keith circuit.

[Mike Amo] Mom saw Jack and Mary while on a trans-Atlantic cruise between England and the US, I believe in the summer of 1949

[Mike Amo] 2 months ago, she added something she'd neglected to mention before

[Maxwell] Just found it...Lifebuoy DID sponsor Jolson.

[Mike Amo] She said she saw Mary slap him in the middle of a conversation Mary and Jack were having

[Laura Leff] Mike - Oh my!

[Mike Amo] No idea what that was <cues organ music>

[yhtapmys] Did Jack tell her she couldnt spend more of his money?

[steve 'shimp'] Wow, right in public?

[Brad from Georgia] Hmm...I guess Mary could ad-lib after all.

[Mike Amo] Apparently so, shimp, yes

[Mike Amo] LOL- Brad

[Laura Leff] Dang

[Laura Leff] I've heard a lot of stories of Mary's cruelty, but never physical abuse.

[Brad from Georgia] My wife never hit me in public. Once she goosed me and made me fall down a short flight of steps, though.

[Mike Amo] No idea why, I asked...mom would have been about 19 at the time

[steve 'shimp'] Maybe Mary should've guested slugging Lum ....

[Laura Leff] Maybe she was the stand-in.

[Mike Amo] Glad she didn't load her glove

[Brad from Georgia] Actually, I don't think she ever hit me in private on purpose. There was the two-by-four incident, though.

[Laura Leff] Reminds me of Eddie Carroll's line about "In all my years with Mary, we never once talked about divorce. Murder, yes. Divorce, no."

[steve 'shimp'] Seems odd as Mary was hyperconcerned about public appearances if you read SNAS.

[steve 'shimp'] She must have been really riled up.

[Laura Leff] Steve - I think that may have been more performances.

[Laura Leff] Mike - Was that on the Queen Mary?

[Brad from Georgia] In our arguments, my wife ALWAYS lets me have the last word. Last two, in fact: "Yes, dear.

[Mike Amo] I think so...could call and ask

[Laura Leff] Brad - You're in rare form tonight.

[yhtapmys] Brad, Jack was 39 when that joke came out.

[Laura Leff] Mike - Any chance it was 1952? I know they crossed then.

[Brad from Georgia] The old jokes are the good jokes.

[Mike Amo] checking

[steve 'shimp'] Well, I'm thinking about how Joan was told not to misbehave as it would reflect badly on Jack and Mary's public image.

[Maxwell] Brad: Sometimes.

[yhtapmys] Steve, I'm all the stars' kids were told the same thing.

[Laura Leff] Steve - That's a good point. But also "Do as I say, not as I do."

[Mike Amo] Summer 1949

[Brad from Georgia] Thing about an old joke, you know just when to laugh. Never embarrass yourself by chuckling before the snapper.

[yhtapmys] Ask Joan Crawford.

[Mike Amo] NYC to probably Southampton

[Laura Leff] I have to put some vaguaries in this out of respect for a few people, but I was interviewing someone once and

[Laura Leff] they told me that Jack was very upset that someone was getting a divorce.

[Laura Leff] He supposedly said something to the effect of, "If you marry someone and it doesn't work out,

[Mike Amo] She did definitely do it...wow, with Elsa Lanchester there, Hedy Lamarr, Morton Downey in the group

[Laura Leff] you find a way of leading independent lives."

[Maxwell] Sounds like the voice of experience.

[Laura Leff] Mmmm...could be.

[Mike Amo] On the deck

[steve 'shimp'] Maybe Jack had a fly on his cheek.

[Laura Leff] Gosh...if it's the Queen Mary, I may have walked that deck.

[yhtapmys] Maybe he'd been talking with Elsa Lanchester,

[Brad from Georgia] Hedy Lamarr, eh...must have been a stacked deck.

[Laura Leff] Or maybe it's akin to the story of how Jack started holding his hand to his face.

[steve 'shimp'] Maybe Mary thought he wasn't doing that gesture enough!

[steve 'shimp'] So had to slug him again.

[Maxwell] More like if Hedy Lamarr was there it wasn't a stacked deck.

[Laura Leff] Brad - He probably wasn't in Ecstasy

[Laura Leff] or taking it

[Brad from Georgia] Now, that was a good movie, if there had been more cloesups.

[Maxwell] That's Hedley!

[Brad from Georgia] LL--was Jack actually playing the violin on the Lum and Abner show?

[Brad from Georgia] Maxwell--This is 1885! You can sue HER!

[Laura Leff] Brad - Most likely. As far as I know, they only had the organist for music.

[yhtapmys] That's all, Laura.

[Mike Amo] Back...apparently Hedy was with Morton, and mom was impressed to see all the stars on the loose...she was on the First Class deck, tresspassing from the Second Class Deck, so don't tell anyone!

[Laura Leff] Mike - Her secret is safe with us

[Maxwell] Mike I think the statute of limitations is up on that anyway.

[yhtapmys] Mike, sounds like an I Love Lucy bit.

[Brad from Georgia] I think the statute of limitations has--oops. I see Max got there first. So this is the statute of imitations, now.

[Maxwell] Did she light her nose with a cigarette lighter?

[yhtapmys] She'd have been stopped by Frank Nelson.

[Mike Amo] The organ and 15-minute show had me wondering if L&A were daytime, but I suspect they were early evening...LL will know   

[Maxwell] Early evening.

[Mike Amo] Wehhhhlllll!

[Laura Leff] Mike - LL would have to look it up. I think they were early evening, though.

[Brad from Georgia] Had to be early--country folks went to bed with the chickens. Made the coops crowded, but what ya gonna do?

[Laura Leff] I think there are a few people who would have been happy to light Mary's nose on fire.

[yhtapmys] What was the date of the broadcast?

[Laura Leff] Yht - Which, Lum and Abner?

[yhtapmys] Yes

[Laura Leff] It's 3/39, but I know someone else will answer by the time I can find the day

[steve 'shimp'] 3-10

[Laura Leff] Thx

[Brad from Georgia] Lum and Abner hated each other. Lum came in on Monday and recorded his lines. On Tuesday, Abner came in and recorded Lum's lines. He was an idiot.

[steve 'shimp'] I want some of what Brad's been drinkin' tonight.

[Laura Leff] Lum sat in his bedroom and was read the lines by his brother, Hilliard.

[Laura Leff] Steve - Yeah, I'll second that.

[steve 'shimp'] I'm sure it ain't postum!

[yhtapmys] This show was on a Friday.

[Brad from Georgia] Actually, I don't drink. It's just good old summertime, and school's out.

[Laura Leff] Something a bit stronger, I dare say.

[Maxwell] Brad Tell me about it!

[Laura Leff] Have a nice, steaming cup of goofball

[Maxwell] I've been a free man for a week now.

User cucamonga has entered this room.

[Laura Leff] Hi Cuc

[steve 'shimp'] Summer's my busy season alas.

[Maxwell] Hey cucamonga

[Laura Leff] amonga

[cucamonga] hi all

[Laura Leff] Or is that amonqua?

[steve 'shimp'] Hi ---amonga.

[Brad from Georgia] Ya know what's sad? I've just finished my 21st year of teaching. I've got nine more to go before I can retire! WAAHHH!

[Maxwell] I started in 73. I have 8 to go.

[Laura Leff] A lot of teachers here, I see.

[Maxwell] Spent too much time out of state and in private school.

[Brad from Georgia] Amongas divide by asexual fission. That's why there are so few of them, and why they never look happy.

[Laura Leff] Cucamonga - Brad's been drinking...don't mind him.

[Brad from Georgia] Max--Private school, you nailed it.


[steve 'shimp'] 80 proof Postum

[Laura Leff] So what else Benny-wise is on the docket

[Brad from Georgia] Postum, the drink from contented cow carcasses and hoofs.

[cucamonga] or yhtapmys?

[Maxwell] I now have 27 years in and 8 to go.

[Laura Leff] besides stories of Mary hitting Jack?

[Maxwell] (Retirement system, that is)

[steve 'shimp'] Mined from the finest molasses pits on CW Post's ranch.

[yhtapmys] I'm trying to find the radio listings for that day.

[Laura Leff] Cuc - Did you happen to listen to the Lum and Abner show for this evening's chat?

[cucamonga] no

[steve 'shimp'] Was this Jack's only appearance on Lum and Abner?

[Laura Leff] Cuc - OK, no problem. Just was curious if you had comments about it, since it's sent us off on various directions, like Postum.

[Laura Leff] Steve - Yup.

[Laura Leff] This is probably one of Jack's most unusual guest shots, in my estimation. This and "The Man Who Came to Dinner".

[Brad from Georgia] I think Jack's Old Year on the New Year's Eve fantasy shows owes a lot to Abner's voice.

[steve 'shimp'] The lack of the audience/laughs is a little daunting.

[Laura Leff] Mike - Please thank your mother for us for the story.

[Brad from Georgia] Interesting to hear how Lum adlibbed almost inaudibly from time to time.

[Laura Leff] Brad - That's a really good observation.

[yhtapmys] Wow, there was a Big Sister cartoon strip.

[Laura Leff] Yht - On the radio?

[yhtapmys] Well, there was the soap.

[yhtapmys] But there was also a comic strip.

[steve 'shimp'] comic strips on the radio are a great strain on the eyes.

[Laura Leff] Big Sister Soap...hadn't heard of that.    

[Brad from Georgia] "Hey, if you're finished with your paper, can I see your Big Sister strip?" "No...no. But if you'd like I'll take off my tie and vest."

[yhtapmys] I just spotted it in the March 10/38 paper I'm going through.

[Maxwell] It worked for Mayor LaGuardia.

[yhtapmys] 1939, sorry.

User cucamonga has logged out.

[Laura Leff] Maxwell - Yeah...I was trying to remember who read the comics on radio.

[steve 'shimp'] "So, Ziggy's thinking....the world needs a hug"

[Brad from Georgia] LL-That was LaGuardia International Airport. They later named a street for him.

[Maxwell] Fiorello "Dropyer" LaGuardia

[Laura Leff] Steve - No wonder that strip doesn't exist any more...

[steve 'shimp'] It doesn't? Justice served.

[Brad from Georgia] They made a musical comedy from LaGuardia's life. The show-stopping tune was "Little Tin Box."

[Laura Leff] More sachharine than a case of diet soda

[Mike Amo] Back, got sidetracked...I passed that along to mom, LL

[Maxwell] Didn't Tom Bosley play LaGuardia in that?

[Brad from Georgia] I think LaGuardia won. Yes, seriously, I think he did.

[Brad from Georgia] Used to have the soundtrack, but it's vanished long since.

[Laura Leff] Mmm-mmm-mmm...just dipped a finger in the chocolate custard that's cooling in the fridge for making ice cream after the chat.

User Fred Allen has entered this room.

[Mike Amo] Howdy Bub!

[steve 'shimp'] Custard's last stand.

[Laura Leff] Uh oh...look out...

[Brad from Georgia] Completely off topic (what topic?), my wife recently learned that a Muppets calendar, of which we have a copy, is selling on eBay for like two hundred smackers.

[Laura Leff] Brad - Gosh!

[steve 'shimp'] It'd be better if they paid in dollars.

[yhtapmys] People Are Stupid.

[Laura Leff] Brad - Wouldn't you rather have money, though?

[Brad from Georgia] Did somebody knock?

[Laura Leff] Hi Fred!

[Brad from Georgia] It's got sentimental value. The cat widdled on it and it has that scent now.

[Fred Allen] Hello

[steve 'shimp'] Is it just me, or did it just get more nasal in here? Hiya Fred.

[Laura Leff] I feel like we should all stand back and let Fred Allen ad lib.

[Mike Amo] <gets clothespin>

[Fred Allen] Greetings from Texaco

[yhtapmys] Got any Tenderleaf Tea?

[Laura Leff] So Fred, tell me...how did you feel about Milton Berle taking over with Texaco?

[Fred Allen] It's in the bag

[Maxwell] Hens can learn a lot about layin' eggs from that Allen fella...It's Town Hall Tonight!

[Laura Leff] I guess this takes us back to the death of Sal Hepatica too.

[Maxwell] All things come full circle.

[steve 'shimp'] Unpleasant way to go.

[Laura Leff] Didn't bring Mr. Ramshaw with you, did you?

[Laura Leff] So Fred, are you a Benny fan or here as devil's advocate?

[Brad from Georgia] Excuse me, does this treadmill go to Oblivion?

[Fred Allen] No, I'm a Benny Fan

[Laura Leff] It's just much ado about the forum

[Fred Allen] I'm on a treadmill to oblivion

[Laura Leff] Fred - You're absolutely welcome here either way. Just teasing you.

[steve 'shimp'] Are many of Jack's appearances on the Fred Allen show lost?

[steve 'shimp'] Seems to me most of the "feud" that exists are the Benny side of the equation, but I could be wrong.

[Laura Leff] Fortunately, Fred's show is probably one of the best-documented of all radio shows

[Laura Leff] As the network was antsy about his ad libbing and recorded all the shows

[Laura Leff] They're just in the Library of Congress now and hard to get out.

[Brad from Georgia] Just like legislation, huh?

[steve 'shimp'] That's good to know! I'm glad they exist.

[Laura Leff] Same with the shows in the Boston Public Library...they want to market them, but don't have the time to devote to the legal research.

[Laura Leff] Steve - That's why I've been printing the scripts of the Fred Allen shows of the time in the Times.

[Brad from Georgia] Surely there are legally-inclined fans who would donate the research time.

[Laura Leff] But I've had so much other stuff to put in that I haven't done it in a while.

[Laura Leff] Brad - Well, I've happily given them the information from the radio research that I've done

[Laura Leff] But you know, there's lots of bureaucracy and so on.

[Maxwell] Which makes me want to ask this LL: Does Carl Amari have a leg to stand on?

[Laura Leff] I tried to get them to release a copy of the 12/30/36 show with Stuart Canin so I could give it to Stuart.

[Laura Leff] Maxwell - In what sense?

[Mike Amo] Glad he stood long enough to get loads of Allen and Benny cassettes

[Brad from Georgia] "Everytime I make a joke, it's just a joke. Everytime Congress makes a joke, it's a law. And everytime they make a law--it's a joke."

[Maxwell] Claiming he has the rights to so many shows.

[Maxwell] Exclusive rights, i should say.

[Laura Leff] Maxwell - Well, a few things on that.

[Laura Leff] Amari is no longer with Radio Spirits, and hasn't been for some years.

[Laura Leff] So I'll answer it in general for RS.

[Maxwell] Okay...I was unaware of that.

[Laura Leff] They don't *own* the rights to anything.

[Laura Leff] What they do have are exclusive agreements with the rights owners to distribute the material.

[Maxwell] Ah...okay.

[Laura Leff] In fact, I closed the renegotiation of an extension with them on the Benny material.

[Laura Leff] I had looked at a variety of other possible outlets, but this made the most sense in the immediate term.

[Brad from Georgia] I'll bet the music rights complicate things further. Maybe that's why many recordings cut Dennis's songs.

[Laura Leff] Brad - That's what's given me the most heartburn with the television specials.

[Laura Leff] That and the union dues.

[Laura Leff] Maxwell - Does that answer your question?

[Maxwell] Yes, it does. Thanks.

[Brad from Georgia] It's darn near impossible to quote a song in a work of fiction without paying royalties. And they're high!

[Mike Amo] Since dad passed away in 1979 and was a big Fred Allen fan, I wonder where I was able to pick up on Allen's material in the 1960s and 1970s...used to go on occasionally with him about my like for Benny and his for Allen (he liked Benny as well)

[Laura Leff] I thought I had a deal with a company to distribute the specials, but then they started backing off when they started researching the music rights.

[Mike Amo] To my memory, no one on TV or radio referenced Allen during those years, and he died before I kept up with What's My Line

[Laura Leff] Mike - I was first exposed to Fred Allen through the Nostalgia Lane record.

[Brad from Georgia] Stephen King, who's got more money than God, gave up on negotiating the rights for a few lyrics for his book "Christine." He said that Michael Jackson's company

[Brad from Georgia] was especially hard-nosed about old songs.

[Mike Amo] Must have been that, LL

[Laura Leff] Brad - And unfortunately, they own all of the Beatles' songs.

[steve 'shimp'] I hear they had to put in almost all generic music when they released WKRP on DVD. I can't imagine that!

[Laura Leff] Mike - But as far as I know, that didn't come out until the late 70s.

[Brad from Georgia] And some of Buddy Holley's too--those were some that King wanted.

[Maxwell] McCartney owns a whole lot of old music, too.

[Mike Amo] May have been references by Benny, Carson, and Cavett

[Laura Leff] Mike - True. Cavett is a huge Fred Allen fan.

[Laura Leff] Fred - Any thoughts from your side? Want to insure you can get in on this too.

[steve 'shimp'] LL was that Nostaglia Lane LP the one that's all excerpts of the Benny-Allen feud?

[Brad from Georgia] I remember Henry Morgan, perennial panelist, speaking warmly of the late Fred Allen back in the fifties.

[steve 'shimp'] I think I had that on a cassette that's long turned to cornflakes.

[Maxwell] Or Postum

[Mike Amo] That may also be it...old newsreels of the Benny-Allen Madison Square Garden fight...I do remember that

[Brad from Georgia] Postum, the drink from contented cow patties.

[Laura Leff] Steve - No, that's a Radiola record.

[steve 'shimp'] Ah, OK. So Nostalgia Lane had a Fred Allen only disc?

[Laura Leff] Nostalgia Lane was called something like "The Wonderful World of Fred Allen"

[steve 'shimp'] Would've been a good Sid and Marty Krofft show!

[Laura Leff] and was a long collection of excerpts that culminated with the court case between Fred and Charlie McCarthy

[Laura Leff] Pinhead McKeeshka!

[Laura Leff] I was pretty young when I heard it, and had just fallen in love with Jack. So when I heard Fred saying the various things about Jack,

[Laura Leff] I thought he was a VERY BAD MAN.

[Mike Amo] Also could be some of Fred's old films, got to know Charlie and Edgar that way

[Laura Leff] Took me several years before I opened up to him.

[steve 'shimp'] That's hysterical!

[Brad from Georgia] I remember seeing a few old Warner Bros. cartoons which referenced "Town Hall Tonight."

[yhtapmys] Ah ha.

[yhtapmys] Lum and Abner, 8:15pm.

[Laura Leff] Aha!

[Mike Amo] ty y

[Maxwell] That would be 7:15 Central

[Maxwell] Thanks Yht

[Laura Leff] 6:15 Mountain

[Brad from Georgia] Ab and Lumber at 8:30. Sort of an early "This Old House" show.

[yhtapmys] 8:15pm Pacific.

[Laura Leff] Ab and Lumber...sounds like a calendar for women...

[yhtapmys] I have some San Francisco area radio listing.

[yhtapmys] KGO had "Dance Hall"

[Maxwell] OH, I'm a lumberjack and I'm okay....

[Laura Leff] Creative name

[yhtapmys] Better than "To be announced".

[Laura Leff] Fred - You still with us?

[Laura Leff] Or "sustaining show"

[Laura Leff] Oh, I should say that we mourn the passing of Ray Erlenborn.

[Laura Leff] Who passed away on June 4th.

[yhtapmys] Hmm. 1045pm, George Olson's orchestra.

[Maxwell] Or the new TV listings for weekday shows on channels that don't have a 5-day strip of the same program: Various Programs

[Laura Leff] Yht - With Ethel Shutta, no doubt

[Mike Amo] Is that Mr. Wizard, LL?

[yhtapmys] They might have split up by then.

[Maxwell] No, Mr. Wizard was Don Herbert.

[Laura Leff] Mike - No, he was Jack's sound effects man in television.

[Mike Amo] Thanks, maxwell, short on memory here...miss him too

[Laura Leff] And a wonderful guy. He and his wife, Meridy, were wonderful people.

[steve 'shimp'] Did he do sound effects for the whole run of TV?

[Mike Amo] Always enjoyed the sound effects of opening the vault...thought of that from BEEE OOO earlier

[Laura Leff] I seem to publish a lot of interviews recently postmortem. So I suppose I should put his in the next issue.

[Laura Leff] Steve - I'm not sure if it was the whole run of TV, but at least part of it.

[yhtapmys] I wonder if Lucy hired him for the Vault episode.

[Laura Leff] He also appeared on screen doing a demo of how sound effects are done.

[Maxwell] I saw that episode recently.

[Laura Leff] He showed me that recording at their bungalow at the Actor's Home.

[Brad from Georgia] I always think of Gene Twombly in relation to sound effects. For a long time I thought it was just a made-up name (Mel Blanc played him on radio).

[steve 'shimp'] Is that in the show where they do the New Years radio recreation?

[Laura Leff] Was funny because suddenly in the middle of it, I'd realized that I'd seen it about 20 years prior. So I stopped laughing and started concentrating hard.

[yhtapmys] Brad, wasn't he married to Bea Benadaret?

[Brad from Georgia] Yep, he was.

[yhtapmys] Or however her last name is spelled.

[Laura Leff] Brad - Nope, real person, married to Bea Benaderet.

[Laura Leff] Gene was SFX in radio.

[Brad from Georgia] I know that now, LL--learned it from the site!

[Brad from Georgia] Has anyone here ever worked foley effects? I have, and it's harder than you'd think!

[Fred Allen] I'm still here, had to make a quick visit to the alley

[Laura Leff] Brad - I did a little, or really SFX for radio recreations, not foley.

[yhtapmys] if you'd like five packages of the finest seed for your garden, be sure to listen to MA PERKINS today and each Monday to Friday at 4 o'clock over KMJ, 580 Kc.

[Laura Leff] Fred - OK...just wanted to make sure we weren't boring you!

[yhtapmys] That ad's from March 10, 1939

[Laura Leff] May or may not be for something you'd want to grow, but it's the FINEST seed!

[Brad from Georgia] For an Atlanta Radio Theatre show, I once had to break a pane of glass with a hammer. I hit it on cue--and the hammer bounced off!

[Maxwell] That would be Oxydol's Own Ma Perkins, of course.

[Laura Leff] And I thought Oxydol sponsored Ma Perkins.

[steve 'shimp'] You don't grow your Oxydol from seed? All the cool kids are doing it.

[yhtapmys] Let's see if I can wipe the .pdf file without typos.

[yhtapmys] 8 To 9 T. M. KMJ—Amos 'n' Andy, for Campbell's Pioducts, NBC; 8:15, Winter sports forecast. NBC; S:30. California Pension Plan. CRS. PO—8:15. Who's Dancing Tonight?, S.30 Death Valley Days. News; 8.05, Dance Hall; 5'30, Waltz Interlude. KARM—Sam Hayes, sp

[Laura Leff] Brad - I should tell you about the SFX flub that we had at the Waukegan statue unveiling.

[yhtapmys] Hmm. So much for that try.

[Brad from Georgia] What happened, LL?

[Laura Leff] We were doing the Captain Horatio Hornblower show

[Laura Leff] and Ray had done some extensive advising to our SFX guy, Charlie

[Laura Leff] (Side note...when I heard Ray had passed away, I knew Charlie would be waiting to greet him on the other side.

[yhtapmys] KARM—Sam Hayes, sports: 8:15. Lum and Abner; 8.30, news, 8:45, Borello Meter.

[Laura Leff] Charlie idolized Ray.)

[Maxwell] Bordello Meter?

[steve 'shimp'] I hate it when they install those Bordello Meters.

[Laura Leff] So he had a CD player that would stop after each cut to cue for the next recorded SFX

[Laura Leff] But we minimized what we did recorded

[Laura Leff] And we had a cannon shot as a salute to the French capitan who was coming aboard

[Laura Leff] So someone, probably our Phil, called "Ready...FIRE!"

[Laura Leff] Charlie punched the CD and out came a rousing chorus of "Hail Brittania!"

[yhtapmys] Max, that;'s what the man said, he said that.

[Laura Leff] Which had been music under Don's announcement of the skit

[Brad from Georgia]  

[Laura Leff] Charlie panicked, and Eddie fortunately ad libbed our way through it

[Maxwell] Whoops!

[Laura Leff] So much so that everyone in the audience thought we'd actually planned it that way

[yhtapmys] Laura, you can't do anything BUT ad-lib in a case like that.

[Brad from Georgia] We were doing "The Invisible Man" once--I was an actor--and the guy with the pistol loaded with blanks decided he'd get a good sound if he fired it over my shoulder toward my mike.

[Laura Leff] Fortunately, Jack had a line earlier about being able to fire Don from word to word ("between LS and MFT")

[Brad from Georgia] We had a live audience--and then BOOM! My left ear rang all night.

[Laura Leff] So he said that he was working from sound effect to sound effect!


[Mike Amo] :D

[Laura Leff] Brad - You could have put your ear to the mike if you needed a bell

(loss due to technical issues)

[Mike Amo] They would improve over time

[Mike Amo] And thousands of You Tube like clones will come along

[Maxwell] I'm still ticked off about Time-Warner pulling all of their stuff off YouTube.

[Laura Leff] Where else can you see a video of a Phil Harris record playing on a turntable?

[steve 'shimp'] I'm still waiting for smellovision.

[Mike Amo]   Don't need that yet

[Laura Leff] Or Wonkavision

[Maxwell] There was a great 1929 Vitaphone short with Red Nichols with Eddie Condon playing banjo, mandolin guitar and singing.

[Brad from Georgia] Elmer Fudd: "Smell-o-vision wepwaces Television? Oh my!"

[Maxwell] And Time-Warner pulled it off.

[Laura Leff] Time Warner owns Vitaphone stuff?

[Mike Amo] Guess they were afraid it could hurt their Condon-Nichols sales

[Maxwell] Yeah...They own all the old WB, RKO, and MGM flims...and UA for that matter.

[steve 'shimp'] I love watching those "Dogville" shorts on youtube. Anything longer than about 5-10 minutes is tiring though.

[Laura Leff] The March of Nichols

[Laura Leff] Steve - Dogville as in the movie?

[Maxwell] That Nichols-Condon video caused a great deal of discussion on the Dixieland Jazz Mailing List I'll tell you.

[Laura Leff] Someone told me that was a pretty demanding movie.

[steve 'shimp'] They were '30s shorts with all dog casts, dressed up in clothes and dubbed. Hilarious.

[Brad from Georgia] The ne;hew of one of my cowriters is in Dogville the movie. Never seen it, though. He played the kid.

[Maxwell] Kind of like the Clark Bar ads in the '50s?

[Brad from Georgia] Why did they dub them? The poodles stuttered?

[steve 'shimp'] I don't know the new Dogville!

[Laura Leff] Maxwell - I'll bet. I used to be more in touch with the 20s jazz scene, but only so many hours in the day.

[Mike Amo] Was this another Hal Roach project?

[Laura Leff] STeve - Oh, totally different.

[Brad from Georgia] No, that was Roachville. Roaches with little costumes...

[steve 'shimp'] I think they were paramount...

[Mike Amo]  


[steve 'shimp'] Nevermind, MGM. Just looked it up.

[Maxwell] Probably Roach then.

[Maxwell] He distributed through MGM in the '30s.

[steve 'shimp'] They were billed as "all barkies".

[Laura Leff] Dogs with little human mouths superimposed over them so they looked like they were talking?

[Maxwell] I should say POSSIBLY.

[Brad from Georgia] Well, I'm gonna have to sign off. I'm in my bedroom (tot wifi now!) and my wife wants to watch the "Robot Chicken" spoof of "Star Wars" without hearing me type.

[Maxwell] Like the Clark Bar ads...or Clutch Cargo.

[Maxwell] Good night Brad.

[Brad from Georgia] Clutch Cargo still gives me nightmares.

[Laura Leff] Take care, Brad...and keep drinking...

[steve 'shimp'] They didn't have the creepy superimposed lips. I don't think the technology was evolved enough for such grand things.

[steve 'shimp'] Night brad.

[Brad from Georgia] See you later! Goodnight, all.

User Brad from Georgia has logged out.

[Mike Amo] Take care Brad...I have to make a "dinner" run to Outback and will probably miss y'all heading out

[Laura Leff] Steve - You might be surprised. They had some interesting special effects in the silent "Thief of Baghdad".

[Mike Amo] But will read back

[Maxwell] So long Mike.

[Laura Leff] Take care Mike...and thanks again for the story!

[Maxwell] They had animation in the '30s and that how they'd do that stuff.

[steve 'shimp'] Oh, yeah, I've actually seen that on the big screen with a live orchestra. Good stuff!

[Mike Amo] Soitenly, LL

[steve 'shimp'] I guess I should head on out too. Got to be up early to dig square holes with the students in the 100 degree heat!

[Laura Leff] Steve - Someone did an all-Scheherezade score for it when it was on PBS in the late 80s. I saw it more recently with the original score, and preferred the other.

[Laura Leff] Well, shall we call it good for this month?

[steve 'shimp'] I'm pretty sure I saw it with the orig. score, but I can't be sure.

[Maxwell] Sounds like a plan, LL.

[Maxwell] My wife wants ice cream.

[steve 'shimp'] Yeah, go enjoy that custard!

[Laura Leff] OK...take care all, and see you next month!

[steve 'shimp'] See you all next month.

[Laura Leff] Steve - I have to make it into ice cream now!

[Maxwell] So long! See you in July!