IJBFC Chat - April 1, 2007

(Name of message originator in [] brackets at the beginning of each line)

[Brad from Georgia] It's raining here, thank heavens. Maybe it will reduce our pollen count of 7,000.

[steve shimp] Speak of the Devil...

[Laura Leff] Hi folks!

[Maxwell] She did!

[Brad from Georgia] Hi, Laura!

[steve shimp] Hiya Laura

[Laura Leff] I did what?

[Maxwell] We were wondering if you had the guts to show up after today's "show."

[ed kienzler] hey laura is that date on the harris faye show 35 or 53?

[Brad from Georgia] You showed up. We thought you might, you know, stay away as an April fool gag.

[Maxwell] '35.

[steve shimp] Various conspiracy theories as to whether you'd show as an April Fool gag.

[Laura Leff] Ed - It's in color, so 63.

[steve shimp] Phil has a face made for cop-cam...

[Brad from Georgia] I kept thinking, "Man, Phil really let himself go."

[Laura Leff] Funny, because we were late getting away from the gym, and I said to Dan that if I ended up being late, everyone would think it was intentional.

[steve shimp] Still yoga-ing?

[Maxwell] And Dan was absolutely correct.

[Laura Leff] What I was wrestling with was whether I was going to put up a real show, and when.

[ed kienzler] hey laura a gentleman from maryland contacted me re: some tapes he sent to you

[Laura Leff] Steve - Yoga was yesterday (although usually Friday), today was elliptical, weights, and abs.

[Maxwell] Nah...It's better this way. Then we don't have to meet on the pretext of discussing a show.

[Laura Leff] Ed - Bill?

[ed kienzler] yes that is him bil thompson

[steve shimp] Wow. I was going to go running but it rained so I ate a huge bbq dinner. You're putting me to shame here.

[Laura Leff] Well, I figured that if I put it up, it would be so late that most people wouldn't get it.

[Laura Leff] Ed - Yes, I have his tapes. Was thinking I should dub them tonight.

[Brad from Georgia] "I dub thee Sir Tape."

[Laura Leff] Ed - Totally my fault, a casualty of chaos at work.

[ed kienzler] great he called me on my phone after getting my home address from the website

[Maxwell] Dubbed in sound...but this time everybody speaks Italian.

[Laura Leff] Ed - He called me too, but he also E-mailed and I responded to him with an apology.

[Laura Leff] When I started to look for an April 1 Benny show, I decided to do something off beat for a theme.

[ed kienzler] oh good i got the right phone # from info hope you didnot mind

[Laura Leff] Phil Harris seemed the most appropriate connection to that clip.

[steve shimp] What IS that clip from, anyway?

[Laura Leff] Ed - I don't circulate my phone number because the people who insist on calling are usually the people who want to scream about something. But since he had E-mail, not a problem.

[Laura Leff] Steve - Reno 911 TV show

[ed kienzler] thanx sorry again

[Laura Leff] It was circulating a couple years ago, got it from a friend at Genentech.

[Laura Leff] Ed - No problem.

[Brad from Georgia] It's a little reminiscent of a scene in Steve Martin's "Man with Two Brains": MAN, your drunk tests are HARD!

[steve shimp] That makes sense

[Laura Leff] I'm not a Reno 911 fan, just happen to have and like that clip.

[ed kienzler] are those custom made stamps we can use

[Maxwell] ed, once you get them you won't want to use them.

[Laura Leff] I have a few other clips I considered, but they were all either potentially offensive to some, too long for download, etc.

[steve shimp] I've actually had to do the backward alphabet test after being pulled over - I was most definitely sober but it's still hard!

[ed kienzler] true

[Laura Leff] Ed - Absolutely. Just like regular postage.

[Brad from Georgia] I've never been stopped for odd driving. 'Course I don't drink, either.

[ed kienzler] great i'll get mine before may 1st

[Laura Leff] Steve - Fortunately, my mother (for whatever reason) taught me the alphabet backwards when I was a kid. So I know it by heart.

[Brad from Georgia] "My child, some day you will be driving while schnockered, so here is something you ought to know."

[Maxwell] My dad could zip through it. I stumble, especially when sober.

[Laura Leff] Step bump Step bump bump

[steve shimp] I was having trouble seeing the poorly painted lines on a poorly lit road with rain glare. Cop pulled me over.

[Laura Leff] Steve - That's your story and you're sticking to it

[Brad from Georgia] My college roommate and I were stopped late one night in Dacula, GA, for going too slow. Go figure.

[steve shimp] That was about 10 years ago though... no presumed drunken pullovers since then. A speeding ticket or two, I'll admit.

[Maxwell] Brad, they figured you'd been smoking pot.

[steve shimp] Dracula, GA?

(some loss)

[Maxwell] You're gonna love it when you see it.

[yhtapmys] It's still downloading.

[Laura Leff] Maxwell - I didn't even realize it was that funny.

[Brad from Georgia] Well, if you don't see oh tonight....

[steve shimp] heheheh

[Laura Leff] Hey folks, Yht hasn't gotten to the show yet.

[Maxwell] I love early experimental TV shows.

[steve shimp] Burn the witch!

[Brad from Georgia] I was really surprised to see that the snopes site ran an article about Jack and his single rose sent to Mary each day after his death.

[steve shimp] Seize him!

[Laura Leff] Steve - I resent that...   

[Maxwell] It's amazing they have a recording of it.

[steve shimp] I just like sayin' those things.

[Laura Leff] Brad - Yeah, go figure!

[yhtapmys] Steve, no quoting SCTV now.

[steve shimp] Release the hounds!

[ed kienzler] heh heh

[steve shimp] I need henchmen.

[Laura Leff] Run away! Run away!

[Maxwell] Zounds! The houds!

[Brad from Georgia] LL-Did you go to the site and read the poem? It's sort of, well, lame.

[Laura Leff] Follow the gourd!

[Maxwell] Or hounds.

[yhtapmys] They're henchpersons now, aren't they?

[Laura Leff] Brad - Oh yes, it's saccharine and sappy. And it's not about Jack.

[ed kienzler] politically correct

[Brad from Georgia] No, but it was supposedly inspired by Jack.

[Laura Leff] But there are an awful lot of people out there who like saccharine and sappy.

[Maxwell] I don't.

[Brad from Georgia] Gee, I could probably write THAT kind of poem.

[Laura Leff] Brad - Says who?

[steve shimp] I'll take hench-mules, I'm not particular.

[yhtapmys] Fink's Mules?

[Laura Leff] I thought that Snopes said they were separate.

[Laura Leff] Maybe I read it too fast.

[Brad from Georgia] LL-The poem was circulating with the notation "This is about Jack Benny".

[Maxwell] But it really wasn't.

[Laura Leff] Brad - Yes, but that's someone else mixing things up. Like Mary being related to the Marx Brothers.

[steve shimp] The way I read the snopes is that the poem went around first, and then the Jack attribution was made, when someone connected it with the real Jack story.

[steve shimp] Conflating the two.

[Maxwell] steve, that's how I read it, too.

[Brad from Georgia] No. However, since the poem specifies Valentine's Day as the day of the rose, I figured the writer was thinking of Jack's birthday.

[Laura Leff] Brad - I doubt that. Lots of people send roses on Valentine's Day for other undefined reasons.

[Maxwell] Or not. I give roses to my wife on Valentine's day, and nobody's gonna confuse it with me.

[Brad from Georgia] 'Course, that's ole English-major me, overcomplicating again.

[Laura Leff] Besides, Mary got a rose every day except Sunday.

[steve shimp] I'll have to look at the snopes page again. That's a fun source of info.

[steve shimp] Was Jack doing broadcasts on Sunday on "the other side" too? Man never stopped working...

[yhtapmys] Sigh. Won't load.

[Laura Leff] Nope, florist just didn't deliver then.

[steve shimp] Oh. LOL!

[Maxwell] Closed on Sundays.

[Laura Leff] Does anyone want to fill in Yht about the show for tonight?

[Brad from Georgia] So...everyone done your taxes?

[steve shimp] (faints)

[Maxwell] I got my refunds back almost a month ago.

[Laura Leff] Brad - I hire mine done.

User yhtapmys has logged out.

[Laura Leff] OK, so don't fill in Yht on the show.

[steve shimp] You really freaked out yht, there, Brad.

[Brad from Georgia] We put off having ours done until this week...and then found out we're due a refund!

[ed kienzler] wow that was quick

[Laura Leff] Ed - Probably his flaky dial up connection.

[ed kienzler] i'm on dial up

[Brad from Georgia] Normally we have to pay, but last year we didn't get much in the way of book royalties.

[Maxwell] Dial up is for the boids.

[Laura Leff] Ed - But you're not flaky.    

[ed kienzler] thanx...

[steve shimp] Me too. Finer, lighter, naturally mild flaky dial-up connection.

[steve shimp] Anyone see the google april fools joke today?

[Brad from Georgia] That's because the oven wasn't dialed up. To get flaky, you need at least 350.

[Laura Leff] And use Crisco

User yhtapmys has entered this room.

[Maxwell] I remember the Crisco Kid!

[ed kienzler] hey time to fill him in

[Laura Leff] You know, when I was a kid and heard the ads for Crisco talking about a flaky crust, I didn't know if that was a good thing or not

[ed kienzler] trans fat?

[steve shimp] whether crust is a good thing or a bad thing depends on where it is found...

[Brad from Georgia] I remember when Johnny Cash's wife used to shill for Crisco: "I uester make 'em gloopy pies." She pronounced it "pahs."

[Maxwell] My dad used to love talking to waitresses when he'd go down south. He'd ask them to say "cherry pie."

[Laura Leff] shirry pah

[ed kienzler] i wonder how sandy becker would promote crisco these days

[Maxwell] Which of course is "chay pah."

[Brad from Georgia] "Mah man Johnny, he laks 'em flaky pahs. Gits the flakes all ovuh his black ole suit."

[Laura Leff] His friends in the jail house luv em too!

[Laura Leff] I lak to put a fahl in there for him now an' en.

[steve shimp] Dirty Ole Egg Suckin' Dog Pah...

[Brad from Georgia] "I hear the pie a-flakin', comin' down the line..."

[Brad from Georgia] "Folsom Prison Pie."

[Maxwell] That's Pah.

[ed kienzler] folsom prison blue-erry pie

[Laura Leff] Down down down into the burnin' ring of pah

[steve shimp] Complete with file and flaky crust!

[ed kienzler] yes!!!

[Brad from Georgia] "I fell down an' the crust went highah"

[Laura Leff]  

[steve shimp] Crust, it's a burning' thing...

[Laura Leff] It has nothing to do with Jack, but hopefully we're all having fun.

[Brad from Georgia] "Air ro-mance, it's a rang o' pah...."

[Laura Leff] A hunka hunka burnin' crust...

[Brad from Georgia] No, no, that's Elvis! Frahd bannaner 'n peaner buttah samwiches.

[steve shimp] Too bad Jack was never sponsored by something crusty. This could be like the Jell-O game.

[Maxwell] From the sounds of it, you guys need to stick to graham cracker crusts.

[Maxwell] You keep burnin' them flaky ones.

[Laura Leff] Steve - I suppose if you drive your general tires through the mud they could be crusty

[Maxwell] Only after they dry.

[Laura Leff] Or if you leave your Canada Dry out long enough

[Brad from Georgia] You know, that crust was invented by Alexander Graham Cracker.

[Laura Leff] Brad - Was he a Georgia Cracker?

[steve shimp] Watson, come here, I'm crusty!

[Maxwell] Ol' Alex was from Doo Wah Ditty.

[ed kienzler] and canada dry is made i texas

[Laura Leff] Steve - Crusty the Clown

[ed kienzler] *in texas

[Brad from Georgia] "Mr. Watson, come here, I need you! I ... I want you! I have to have you!"

[yhtapmys] I have some in my fridge.

[Laura Leff] Ed - They must have a really, really long straw.

[Laura Leff] Brad - Sounds like some of the film clips I decided not to use.

[Brad from Georgia] You know, twice this week my wife forced me to turn off the TV.

[Laura Leff] Brad - Someone edited together some audio clips of William Shatner and Leonard Nimoy to make it sound something like that.

[Laura Leff] Brad - Why's that?

[steve shimp] They had to edit?

[Brad from Georgia] First time, I was watching "March of the Penguins," and she couldn't stand to see the seals eat the little headwaiters.

[ed kienzler] what was on brad

[Laura Leff] Crunch all you want, we'll make more.

[Laura Leff] And the second time?

[Brad from Georgia] "Umbrellas of Cherbourg."

[steve shimp] Umbrellas of Cherbourg is great if you like pretty colors and the same song for 90 minutes!

[Laura Leff] Brad - Which I haven't seen. Too sad?

[Laura Leff] If it takes forever, I will wait for "The End" card...

[Maxwell] So how many umbrellas were there.

[Brad from Georgia] At the end the haunting love theme is playing "If it takes forever, I will wait for you..."

[Laura Leff] Maxwell - Enough to fill the Albert Hall.

[Brad from Georgia] Trouble is, the "Futurama" show used that tune for the time when Philip's dog died while waiting for him to return.

[Maxwell] I remember that song!

[steve shimp] It gets stuck in your head for DAYS. Like "It's a Small Crust"..er, "World"

[ed kienzler] there was picture of george and gracie in last week's USA today as they were talking about hat new skate

[ed kienzler] moviue

[Laura Leff] Steve - Or the song from Hampster Dance.

[ed kienzler] my tytping stinks

[ed kienzler] see!!!

[steve shimp] NOOOO! (Though I'm a fan of rodent rock in general)

[Maxwell] Use Glade.

[Brad from Georgia] 'Sokay, ed, I got allergies.

[Laura Leff] Last week on a whim, I looked up Hampster Dance again and got the song stuck in Dan's head.

[Brad from Georgia] That's 'cause the pollen count here's been higher than the oxygen count.

[ed kienzler] with will farrell

[Laura Leff] OK, Benny fans...does this crowd like Will Ferrell?

[ed kienzler] no

[yhtapmys] No

[steve shimp] Not so much. Small doses are OK.

[Maxwell] Generally not.

[Laura Leff] I'm not big on him either.

[Brad from Georgia] I can take him or leave him, but mostly leave him. He's overbearing in most roles.

[steve shimp] I saw a bit of that NASCAR movie and it had some funny bits.

[Maxwell] He's less irritating than Jerry Lewis.

[Brad from Georgia] I did think he was good in "Elf."

[Laura Leff] Maxwell - Which is not saying much

[steve shimp] Jock itch is less irritating than Jerry Lewis.

[Laura Leff]  

[Maxwell] I was thinking poison ivy.

[ed kienzler]  

[Maxwell] "Less irritating than Jerry Lewis."--Ebert, Chicago Sun-Times

[Brad from Georgia] My wife thinks Benny Hill is on par with Jerry Lewis. I think he's funnier.

[yhtapmys] Jerry Lewis has poison ivy jock itch?

[yhtapmys] That explains a lot.

[Laura Leff] Brad - You know Benny Hill's first name is taken from Jack Benny.

[Maxwell] No, he IS that.

[ed kienzler]  

[Brad from Georgia] Yht--Heard the story about Harpo Marx's jock itch?

[Brad from Georgia] LL--Yes, I did know that, as it happens!

[Laura Leff] Seriously. Benny Hill was trying to figure out his stage name, and decided to borrow his idol's name.

[ed kienzler] speaking of Harpo...

[Laura Leff] Brad- Was it a silent killer?

[Maxwell] So he named himself after Jack Benny and Arthur Hill.

[steve shimp] What was Benny Hill's real name?

[Brad from Georgia] LL-No; he was playing golf with a urologist and as a gag ran a hose up his pant leg and out his fly. He stuffed his pants with grass clippings.

[Laura Leff] Rodney Dangerfield.

[steve shimp]  

[Brad from Georgia] Then, as a gush of clotted green water came out, Harpo asked, "Doc, could you take a look at this?"

User yhtapmys has logged out.

[Brad from Georgia] Joke was on Harpo. There was poison ivy in the clippings.

[Laura Leff] Brad - Oh gosh! I'd not heard that story!

[Maxwell] There he goes again.

[Maxwell] YOWCH!

[ed kienzler] oh well...

[Maxwell] I'll bet he needed an ocean of calamine lotion.

[steve shimp] Coasters!

[Laura Leff] Oceans of lotions of love from Jergens...

[ed kienzler] walter winchell...

[Maxwell] I always use coasters. I hate rings on my coffee table.

[Brad from Georgia] Someone sent me a clip from an Ed Sullivan show. Harpo's the guest. Ed says, "And now, Harpo is going to....perform....for us....right here....on the, uh, the uh--"

[Brad from Georgia] And Harpo SAYS "Harp!"

[Laura Leff] Brad - Really?

[Brad from Georgia] Yep--evidently Sullivan got on his last nerve.

[Laura Leff] I thought there were only a couple of recordings of Harpo's voice

[Laura Leff] I have an LP of Harpo's harp playing, since he apparently was very into Hi-Fi recordings.

[Brad from Georgia] That's the third one I've heard. I'll see if I can track down the source for you.

[Maxwell] The only one I've heard was the interview that was on the BBC web site.

[Laura Leff] Brad - Do they have it on tape?

[ed kienzler] did he sound like chico or groucho?

[Maxwell] Neither.

[Brad from Georgia] LL--Don't know; the quality was not great, like an old kinescope.

[steve shimp] Have you ever heard the "Marcel Marceau" live LP?

[Laura Leff] Ed - He sounds more like Chico to me, but they all sounded alike.

[Maxwell] He had a melifluous voice.

[Brad from Georgia] He did sound like Chico not doing the Italian thing.

[steve shimp] It's 30 minutes of silence and then 30 seconds of applause at the end.

[Laura Leff] Steve - No, but I have an autograph from him on my wall downstairs.

[Maxwell] Yeah, you're right come to think of it.

[ed kienzler] neat

[Laura Leff] That reminds me of "The Laughing Record"

[Brad from Georgia] Somewhere there must be some tapes of Harpo. He was interviewed for all of "Harpo Speaks," after all.

[Brad from Georgia] LL--I got an autographed Groucho photo!

[Maxwell] Yeah, but they used Peter Graves' tape recorder.

[Laura Leff] I recently rediscovered the LP of "They're Coming to Take Me Away Ha Ha" by Napoleon XVI

[ed kienzler] as long as there is no 15 mins. of silence like Nixon

[Maxwell] I've got the 45 of that.

[Laura Leff] Brad- a personal one to you, or one on Ebay?

[Brad from Georgia] Eighteen, ed!

[steve shimp] I should have seen if Rosemary Woods was a producer on that album...

[ed kienzler] edited for content

[Brad from Georgia] LL--He didn't personalize it, but back in the sixites I was on the film committee at my college and we invited him to come for a Marx Brothers series.

[ed kienzler] transcribed

[Brad from Georgia] He couldn't because of ill health, but he sent all five of us on the committee a signed photo.

[Laura Leff] Brad - Gosh, lucky you. Someone on the OTR Digest just recently told a great story about being invited over to his house.

[Brad from Georgia] LL--what I WISH I had was the letter he sent. He genially inuslted us all for thinking the Marx Brothers were worthy of a film festival!

[Laura Leff] Groucho had a TV installed on the ceiling of his bedroom so he could lay there and watch reruns of "You Bet Your Life" at 11PM on a local station.

[steve shimp] Did it fall on him if someone said the secret word?

[ed kienzler] george fenneman was great on that show

[Laura Leff] Steve - I think the nurse was paid to do that.

[steve shimp]  

[Laura Leff] Yeah, is George still alive?

[Brad from Georgia] George Fenneman--the male Margaret Dumont!

[ed kienzler] no

[Maxwell] No, he died a few years ago.

[ed kienzler] lung cancer

[Laura Leff] OK...I knew he was around for quite a number of years.

[ed kienzler] about 88

[Brad from Georgia] My daughter recently auditioned for the Atlanta Puppetry Arts Center. The director asked her to read a part "in a Margaret Dumont voice" and was amazed when she knew who that was.

[Laura Leff] Too many Desoto mufflers, I guess.

[ed kienzler] brad- margaret dumont?

[Maxwell] According to Wikipedia he died in 1997.

[Brad from Georgia] ed--yes.

[ed kienzler] ok...

[Laura Leff] Ed - You know who Margaret Dumont is, yes?

[Brad from Georgia] ed--the matron in the Marx Brothers movies. Oh, sorry.

[Maxwell] He was 77.

[ed kienzler] the patsy to the marx' in most of the films

[steve shimp] And, the lady who cured Jerry Lewis' jock itch.

[Brad from Georgia] Very dignified lady with a trilling voice. Groucho said, "She was wonderful, but she never understood a single joke."

[Laura Leff] MD: I held him in my arms and kissed him... GM: Oh, so it was murder!

[Laura Leff] Brad - That's, of course, a total fabrication.

[ed kienzler]  

[Maxwell] I can see you now bending over a stove, but I can't see the stove.

[ed kienzler] did she do any radio?

[Brad from Georgia] Groucho: You may think me a sentimental old fluff, but may I have a lock of your hair? Dumont: A lock of my hair? Groucho: I'm lettin' you off easy, I could've asked for the whole wig.

[Maxwell] Can't you see I'm trying to tell you I love you.

[Laura Leff] I can just see it now...you and the moon. You wear a necktie, so I'll know you.

[Laura Leff] Notice that Margaret Dumont lines are really Groucho lines.

[Maxwell] Your eyes shine like the pants of a blue serge suit.

[Brad from Georgia] "Hail, hail Fredonia!"

[Laura Leff] Pass key?

[Brad from Georgia] You know, you passkey in the streetsky?

[Laura Leff] I knew someone was going to take me up on that straight line.

[ed kienzler] in new joisey

[steve shimp] LL, just noticing our cozy turnout here, is Barbara doing better from her accident?

[Laura Leff] OK, so it's the Marx Brothers room tonight.

[Maxwell] Did anyone ever tell you that you look like the Prince of Wales. I don't mean the present prince. I mean one of the old Wales...and when I say Wales I mean whales.

[Laura Leff] Steve- Dunno...she wasn't able to type well, so I'm presuming she's been away from the keyboard.

[Brad from Georgia] (Sending healing vibes Barbara's way.)

[steve shimp] OK, just remembered you'd said she was out of sorts last time.

[Laura Leff] Look, it's a school of whales! They look a bit old for school. University, then. University of Wales

[Laura Leff] Sorry, just jumped over to Yellow Submarine.

[Laura Leff] Steve - Yes, I've been thinking of dropping her a note but hadn't done it yet.

[ed kienzler] i love the JB show where groucho-george frankie and danny kaye sing jack's song when i say i love you

[Brad from Georgia] "Liverpool can be a dull place on a Saturday night. And it's only Thursday mornin'."

[steve shimp] I've been watching the second set of Addams Family DVD's and it's remarkable how Groucho-inspired John Astin is in that.

[steve shimp] The whole show is kind of repertory Marx Bros, as well.

[ed kienzler] cigar and all

[Laura Leff] I've decided that Dr. Strangelove is the last Marx Brothers movie.

[Brad from Georgia] Blue Meanie: "It's over, Max. Whatever shall I do? Wherever shall I go?" Max (THINKS FOR A SECOND): Argentina?

[Laura Leff] Guy Lombardo?

[Brad from Georgia] I always thought that Alan Alda's Hawkeye Pierce was Groucho's illegitimate offspring.

[Laura Leff] Apologies to anyone who doesn't know Yellow Submarine...this exchange would be truly meaningless...

[Maxwell] What is this Yellow Submarine of which you speak?

[Laura Leff] A thousand leagues beneath the sea it lie...or lay...I'm not too sure...

[Laura Leff] Maxwell - Beatles' movie.

[steve shimp] Never seen it.

[Maxwell] I know LL. I grew up when the Beatles were popular.

[Laura Leff] And a very good candidate for my favorite movie. But I have a hard time casting my lot firmly with a single movie for that.

[Brad from Georgia] Old Fred: "What are your friends doin' in the museum?" Ringo: "Displayin'." Old Fred: "Displayin' what?" Ringo: "Dis playin' around."

[Maxwell] I just haven't seen it for 15-20 years.

[ed kienzler] we all live in a yellow submarine?how crowded...

[Laura Leff] Brad apparently likes the movie as much as I do...

[Maxwell] I liked A Hard Day's Night myself.

[Laura Leff] Maxwell - I'm goin' paradin!

[Brad from Georgia] Anyone remember the M*A*S*H episode in which Radar does a Jack Benny impression?

[ed kienzler] really

[Laura Leff] Brad - You know, I've heard of that but not seen it

[Laura Leff] What are you going to learn from life from a bloomin boook?

[Maxwell] I've probably seen it, but there are about 10,536 episodes to try to remember.

[Laura Leff] Maxwell - I'm glad I wrote 39 Forever on just 925 episodes of Jack on radio

[ed kienzler] a show that lasted 8 years longer that the war it portrays

[Brad from Georgia] Radar does several. Then he does Jack: "Oh, Rochester!" Hawkeye says, "John Wayne?" Radar says, "Now, cut that out!" And Hawkeye says, "Oh, THAT's John Wayne!"

[Maxwell] Besides, 39 Forever being about MASH would be a bit odd.

[steve shimp]  

[Laura Leff] Rich Little sent me an E-mail.

[Maxwell] Of course you could call it '53 Forever.

[steve shimp] I met and was in a TV show with Alan Alda, gotta say I wasn't that impressed with him personally.

[Brad from Georgia] LL--And what, pray, does the Richster have to say? I love his impression of

[Brad from Georgia] Walter Brennan.

[Laura Leff] '53 Chevvy Forever

[ed kienzler] saw him on a hawaii 5-0 recently

[steve shimp] He did one of his Sci American Frontiers programs on an archaeological site I was working on.

[ed kienzler] rich little

[Laura Leff] Brad - Apparently, he's been doing charcoal drawings of his favorite celebrity and wants to send me a copy.

[Brad from Georgia] Cool!

[ed kienzler] neat

[Maxwell] Rich Little was at a archological site with Alan Alda?

[steve shimp] It's all very confusing, isn't it?

[Laura Leff] Yeah, it was a nice gesture. And completely out of the blue.

[Maxwell] Cool!

[Brad from Georgia] No, no, Maxwell, Rich Little was digging up Margaret Dumont--pay attention!

[Laura Leff] Can you dig it?

[Maxwell] Okay, now I've got it!

[Maxwell] Grazin' in the grass is a gas....

[Brad from Georgia] steve--so how was Alda in the flesh and fantasy?

[Laura Leff] Roll me over in the clover...

[ed kienzler] in the sands of dover

[Brad from Georgia] LL--Watch it, don't work blue.

[Laura Leff] Steve - Is he sort of like his character in "Crimes and Misdemeanors"

[Maxwell] Roamin' in the gloamin'...

[steve shimp] Just a little standoffish. Wouldn't really talk to the students on the site, which seemed a little rude to me.

[Laura Leff] Brad - Sorry, just flipped over to my par-dee records from the 40s

[ed kienzler] as i go a roamin...

[steve shimp] He was pleasant enough eating lunch with me and some others though.

[Laura Leff] I'll resist singing The Freckle Song and So She Had to Go and Lose It at the Astor.

[Brad from Georgia] Now I've got that Bugs Bunny cartoon in my mind--him and the wolf in a rousing rendition of "Put On Your Old Grey Bonnet."

[Laura Leff] You know, I was asking someone who had worked with Kelsey Grammer about what the deal is with him.

[steve shimp] The cocaine?

[Brad from Georgia] Yeah, you'd think a Jack Benny fan like Kelsey would be a nice guy.

[Laura Leff] And the person said that his theory is that Grammer is just so beset by people who want a piece of him that he's developed that "arm's length" air about him.

[ed kienzler] he is not?

[Brad from Georgia] Aloof, I understand, ed.

[ed kienzler] thanx

[Laura Leff] Ed - To be honest, I don't know. But lots of people, even in the business, have approached him about

[Brad from Georgia] I think the biggest celebrities I've ever met personally are writers: J.K. Rowling and Stephen King.

[Maxwell] Today's program was directed by Lirp Aloof.

[Laura Leff] supporting various Benny stuff, like the convention and the stamp, and his answer is that he's flatly not interested.

[steve shimp] I guess aloof is understandable, but rudeness really isn't.

[Brad from Georgia] Rowling wouldn't talk to anyone (her handlers wouldn't let her); King was friendly, but very guarded when not talking one-on-one or to a small group.

[Laura Leff] So I started to doubt whether he really was interested in Jack or just when he got paid to say he was.

[ed kienzler] i have picture of me and Martin Milner at a route 66 car fest

[ed kienzler] that's the biggest celeb i ve met

[Brad from Georgia] LL--Grammer must have some interest. He learned a lot about comedy from watching Jack!

[steve shimp] I guess there's a difference between borrowing mannerisms and actively being interested in Jack's history, the show, etc.

[ed kienzler] so did johnny carson i thought

[Maxwell] Apparently that's all he learned from him.

[Laura Leff] Most of the people who love and/or worked with Jack are delighted to help with stuff regarding Jack. Harry Shearer, for example.

[Brad from Georgia] Johnny Carson always happily admitted his debt to Jack.

[steve shimp] But Grammer never KNEW Jack.

[Maxwell] And that could be the difference right there.

[ed kienzler] yep

[Laura Leff] I'm not trying to bash Grammer. All I know is that he's always turned everyone's requests down.

[Brad from Georgia] LL--and of course Eddie Carroll (who did work with Jack) has possibly inherited Jack's title as the sweetest guy in show biz.

[Laura Leff] Brad- Oh amen to that!

[steve shimp] Any chance of seeing that special where the two of them are together? It's not in the video library, is it?

[Laura Leff] Not yet. That's the first Farewell Special.

[Laura Leff] But actually...I think there's a B&W copy in circulation.

[Laura Leff] I think I have that.

[Brad from Georgia] LL--About the snopes story--is the bit about Mary's claiming that she scratched Jack's face when he was guilty of philandering and his hand to the cheek gesture was meant to cover it true?

[Laura Leff] Brad - Oh that's a VERY complex question.

[Brad from Georgia] LL--I'd love to see that!

[Laura Leff] There are four different stories about the hand-to-face.

[Brad from Georgia] LL--The b/w tape, that is, not the complex question!

[steve shimp] Jack claimed it was, but it seems like a number of stories/explanations conflating for a good anecdote.

[Laura Leff] Brad - I keep hoping I can close a deal with a company to release the specials. But not yet.

[Laura Leff] I think I did the full analysis of that one in the Biography online.

[Brad from Georgia] Oh, darn. Darn, darn, darn! (stamps foot and walks offstage)

[Laura Leff] And since Brad won't let me work blue, I can't tell you what sounds like the most plausible story.

[Brad from Georgia] Well....maybe a nice robin's egg blue.

[Maxwell] Can you maybe work teal?

[Laura Leff] Bluer than the lips of a schoolboy at 40 below

[Laura Leff] I probably worked to make the story more family-friendly on the bio

[steve shimp] Jack was covering up a herpie on the corner of his mouth?

[ed kienzler] 39 below

[Brad from Georgia] My fave: "Bluer than the thumb of a cross-eyed carpenter."

[ed kienzler] ouch!!!

[Laura Leff] Do you want the complex story, or do you want to just look it up?

[Brad from Georgia] I'll look it up. I've probably read it, but forgot.

[Maxwell] How about the Reader's Digest version?

[Brad from Georgia] Absent minded what do you call it...professor, you know.

[Maxwell] I know I've read it, but I don't remember it at all.

[Laura Leff] OK, I'll try to make it chat-friendly so it doesn't go on and on.

[Maxwell] I read the entire bio the first night I found this site.

[Laura Leff] Maxwell - Good to hear that...it took a good bit of work really trying to piece together something that was as factual as possible.

[Laura Leff] OK, so here goes.

[Laura Leff] The simplest story about Jack and the hand gestures is that he went on stage without his violin, didn't know what to do with his hands, so started doing the gestures.

[Laura Leff] I don't buy that.

[Brad from Georgia] No, what a wild story.

[Maxwell] I can't picture him forgetting his violin.

[Maxwell] That'd be kind of like forgetting your pants.

[Laura Leff] The next story is that a girl called Jack and was put through to his dressing room. Jack, rather than saying that he was married, told her that he "couldn't see [her] tonight."

[ed kienzler] was he a good friend to any big bands?

[Brad from Georgia] Maxwell--There was just that ONE time...

[Laura Leff] Mary was furious that Jack wouldn't tell her that he was married, and scratched Jack's cheek.

[Laura Leff] So Jack covered up by putting his hand to his face.

[Laura Leff] OK, that's the most often-repeated. But the one I buy is this one...

[Brad from Georgia] And the number one story IS:

[Laura Leff] Now, you have to know that The Great Temptations was a pretty racy review.

[Maxwell] *drumroll*

[Laura Leff] Naked women and all, you know.

[Maxwell] Gasp!

[Laura Leff] Or fairly naked.

[Brad from Georgia] I'll have to look into that.

[ed kienzler] hmmmm

[Maxwell] Are there any pictures on the web?

[Laura Leff] So the girls always liked to break up Jack.

[Laura Leff] Maxwell - I do have a newspaper add which features a backside shot of a little cutie.

[Maxwell] Woo-hoo!

[Laura Leff] And supposedly one of the chorus girls went busting into Jack's room with her breast exposed and painted with lipstick to look like a pig.

[ed kienzler] double hmmmmm

[Maxwell] But back to the story....

[Laura Leff] Coming through the door, she exclaimed "Oink oink!"

[Brad from Georgia] ....and Kermit was in the dressing room....

[Laura Leff] She was startled to see Jack looking ashen and sheepish in response.

[Laura Leff] Then she noticed an angry Mary sitting behind the now-open door.

[Laura Leff] She withdrew rather ashen and sheepish herself.

[Brad from Georgia] BUSTED! Er, so to speak.

[Laura Leff] And that's when Mary scratched Jack's face.

[ed kienzler] OUCH!!!

[Brad from Georgia] Scratched the wrong boob, eh?

[steve shimp] I enjoy that version.

[Laura Leff] I buy that story because it's got such detail to it that it's either real or the product of someone's really creative imagination.

[Maxwell] That's the best version yet!

[ed kienzler] is joan their only child?

[steve shimp] But, what I don't get, is did Jack hold his hand to his cheek for a whole performance? That's quite a bit different than doing the occasional "touch the cheek" gesture.

[Laura Leff] The phone date may have happened as well, but sounds like a simplification of Mary being upset about a woman.

[Brad from Georgia] It would be better with Kermit the Frog.

[Laura Leff] Ed - Yes.

[steve shimp] Hiii-yah!

[Brad from Georgia] "Kissy kissy..."

[steve shimp] (Channelling Miss Piggy)

[Laura Leff] Steve - That's not discussed much, but he couldn't hide the scratches if he was just occasionally touching it.

[steve shimp] Exactly.

[ed kienzler] he used close some shows with a "Goodnight Joanie" how come that stopped

[Brad from Georgia] "Good grief, the comedian's a bear!" "No, he's-a not! He's-a wearin' a neck-a-tie!"

[Laura Leff] Ed - Jack only did that for shows when they were doing a remote broadcast and Joan was at home.

[steve shimp] Wocka Wocka

[Laura Leff] And only for the West Coast shows.

[ed kienzler] thanx...

[Brad from Georgia] I imagine scratches could be covered with grease paint, but a nervous actor would keep checking to make sure it wasn't bleeding through.

[Laura Leff] Ed - Sure. Any other burning Benny questions?

[steve shimp] Good theory Brad...

[ed kienzler] no please continue...

[Laura Leff] Jack on the Muppet Show. Jim Henson wanted it to happen.

[Brad from Georgia] Oh, I wish!

[Maxwell] Anybody catch Broadway Melody of 1936 the other day on TCM?

[steve shimp] Jack gave another version of that story where it was an old girlfriend on the phone, implied that it was maybe Mary Kelly.

[Laura Leff] I think that's probably one of the great lost opportunities of comedy of all time.

[Brad from Georgia] I can just imagine Jack's deadpan reactions to the puppets!

[steve shimp] That's in that David Frost interview.

[Laura Leff] Steve - I can imagine that if the chorus girl story is true, Jack would have wanted to tone it down.

[steve shimp] Yeah.

[Laura Leff] Maybe that's where the phone call story came from.

[Laura Leff] Here's another reason I don't buy the phone call story.

[Brad from Georgia] I told you about seeing the puppet show "Avenue Q" on Broadway, I'm sure.

[Laura Leff] This would have had to be in about 1928.

[steve shimp] Alexander Graham Cracker hadn't been invented yet?

[Laura Leff] Phones were very much not prevalent at that time, and I doubt the vaudeville theatres would have had a phone in the individual dressing rooms yet.

[Maxwell] Nope...probably a pay phone somewhere backstage.

[Laura Leff] Maybe a central backstage phone, but unlikely more than that.

[Laura Leff] yeah.

[Brad from Georgia] Probably two cans and a string.

[Laura Leff] Or smoke signals

[ed kienzler] or the telegraph?

[Brad from Georgia] Yes, for long distance.

[Laura Leff] Ed - That was just for jokes

[Laura Leff] (OK, yes, that was a stretch)

[Maxwell] Or pitches.

[steve shimp] that dot-dash finish always killed 'em in Altoona.

[Laura Leff]  

[Brad from Georgia] Samuel "Funny Boy" Morse!

[Laura Leff] Steve - Talk about cutting the act

[Laura Leff] That was no lady, that was my wife! dot-dot-dash

[ed kienzler] take my wife

[Brad from Georgia] "The Morse Boys: Tap Dancing in Code"

[ed kienzler] ooops not married

[Laura Leff] A Morse is a Morse of course of course

[Brad from Georgia] Get married, and then we'll take her.

[Laura Leff] And no one can talk to a Morse of course

[steve shimp] Marcel Marceau, performing tonight live via Morse Code!

[Laura Leff] Except if the Morse of course of course

[ed kienzler] except me the famous mr ed

[Laura Leff] Is the famous da-da-dit-da-dit-dit-dit-da-da-dit-dit...

[Brad from Georgia] LL-Yah know, there's this guy in Oklahoma developing a "Mr. Ed" housing subdivision....with the ashes of the horse supposedly interred at the entrance!

[steve shimp] I was just typin' that out, Brad!

[Brad from Georgia] Streets will be named for characters...Wilburrrrr drive....

[Maxwell] Not a big tube of glue?

[ed kienzler] hmmmm

[Laura Leff] Brad - Uh, I didn't know that fans of Mr. Ed were that devoted to him...

[Laura Leff] Maxwell -ooooo

[steve shimp] But the remains' accuracy and affiliation are disputed.

[Brad from Georgia] Alan Young says that the guy doesn't have the ashes of the real horse, just a lookalike. He says when the show ended, the cast ate the real one.

[ed kienzler] there is talk of a live action underdog movie

[Laura Leff] Kind of like Howdy Doody and Double Doody?

[steve shimp] I'm holding out for a Francis subdivision.

[Laura Leff] Ed - The question is.........why?

[Maxwell] Or Phineas T. and Barnabas T. Bluster?

[Brad from Georgia] There is a live action Underdog movie already in production. The previews look dumb.

[ed kienzler] there is nothing more to film about

[Laura Leff] Welcome to Carmichael Court.

[Brad from Georgia] Flub-a-Dub.

[Laura Leff] Kowabunga and Kowachicken

[Maxwell] Dilly Dally

[ed kienzler] wocha wocha

[steve shimp] Low gas bills in Carmichael court.

[Laura Leff] Maxwell - Did you know that Dilly Dally was Mayor of Doodyville before Mr. Bluster?

[Brad from Georgia] Double Duty was a non-string version of Howdy available for photo ops, commercials, Bar Mitzvahs, and weddings.

[Brad from Georgia] Double Doody, of course. Silly me.

[Laura Leff] Brad - I thought that was Photo Doody

[Maxwell] Nope...I don't remember Howdy before about 1953 or '54.

[Brad from Georgia] LL-You're right--I'm wrong!

[ed kienzler] no strings attached

[Laura Leff] Maxwell - I had a friend who used that as his opening line to a lot of women.

[Maxwell] Double Duty was a Negro League pitcher/catcher. Ted Radcliffe.

[Brad from Georgia] (From the Kollege of Musical Knowledge)

[steve shimp] I don't know Howdy other than what my parents have told me. None of those shows still exist, do they?

[Laura Leff] Maxwell - As far as I know, he's still single.

[Laura Leff] Steve - Oh yes they do. That friend showed me a good number of them, including the last one where Clarabell speaks.

[Brad from Georgia] steve--Oh, there are lots of collections of the Howdy shows. B/W to color era.

[Maxwell] Clarabell died last year.

[steve shimp] Hmm! I will have to give a look-see.

[Maxwell] At least the last one did.

[Brad from Georgia] But I understand the funniest bits never made it onto the air--the puppeteers did work blue!

[ed kienzler] not kinescope i hopo

[Laura Leff] There were several Clarabells. Bob Keeshan was one.

[ed kienzler] 8HOPE

[steve shimp] Bob Keeshan was a hobo?

[Brad from Georgia] The first Clarabell was Bob Keeshan, later known as Captain Kangaroo. LL beat me.

[Laura Leff] Brad - Oh yes, and the time the kid relieved himself in a Halloween pumpkin.

[Maxwell] Beat me LL, eight to the bar.

[Brad from Georgia] Clarabell was not a hobo! He was a horn-honkin' zebra-striped topknotted klown.

[ed kienzler] bob keeshan a great man

[Maxwell] Chief Thunderthud.

[Maxwell] Princess Summerfallwinterspring.

[ed kienzler] mr moose

[Laura Leff] Sounds like there are lots of stories about her and the rest of the cast that are going to the grave with people.

[Brad from Georgia] Princess Summerfallwinterspring was in a movie with Elvis Presley. Then she died.

[Laura Leff] Mr. X

[Laura Leff] Brad - Tragically, I believe. Car crash?

[Maxwell] She was in a car accident, I think.

[Brad from Georgia] Mr. Moose was on "Captain Kangaroo," along with Tom Terrific and Mr. Greenjeans.

[Maxwell] Beat me LL, eight to the bar.

[Brad from Georgia] Yep, car accident.

[Laura Leff] Maxwell - Pardon my ESP helmet

[Brad from Georgia] Movie was "Jailhouse Rock."

[Maxwell] My wife met Mr. Moose's puppeteer/voice.

[Maxwell] Cosmo Alligretti.

[Brad from Georgia] Word was that the actress was quite, uh, willing. Very popular girl.

[ed kienzler] he played the handy man

[Laura Leff] You know who else was a great man? Fred Rogers.

[steve shimp] Yep.

[Brad from Georgia] He used to be my neighbor!

[steve shimp]  

[Brad from Georgia] No, wait, I dreamed that.

[Maxwell] Mr. Greenjeans was Lumpy Brannum.

[Laura Leff] I grew up with his show, and I really, really hope they're still running it for the kids of today.

[Maxwell] He used to be a musician, but I can't think of what bands he was in.

[ed kienzler] not what's his names dad

[Brad from Georgia] Someone asked Brannum once why he was named "Lumpy," and he said, "In my town, everyone was."

[Laura Leff] Fred Rogers was a musician?

[ed kienzler] why not

[steve shimp] Sure, he rocked on "you'll never go down the drain"

[Brad from Georgia] Fred Rogers was a Presbyterian minister.

[Laura Leff] That's right.

[steve shimp] (one of my kiddie song favorites - clueing me into a fear I never would have had otherwise)

[Maxwell] Yup, the show, etc. was his ministry.

[Laura Leff] Steve - yeah!

[Brad from Georgia] He was not, despite what you hear, a sharpshooter in either Vietnam or Korea.

[Brad from Georgia] Nor did he die after eating Pop-Rocks and drinking Pepsi.

[ed kienzler] ken curtis was a singer in big bands also

[steve shimp] His cardigans were sewed by sweatshop labor though.

[Laura Leff] There's just so much good, positive messages in his shows. We need more of that.

[Maxwell] Yup...with Tommy Dorsey.

[Laura Leff] Steve - Gosh, and I thought they were made by his mother.

[ed kienzler] festus

[Brad from Georgia] Ken Curtis worked in Roy Rogers's "The Sons of the Pioneers" for a while.

[ed kienzler] yep

[Maxwell] He worked his mother in a sweatshop.

[Maxwell] ?

[Laura Leff] Gosh, the things you learn.

[steve shimp] In that evil imperialist neighborhood of make believe. You never saw King Friday the 13th's dungeon.

[ed kienzler] mr.dillon...

[ed kienzler] matthew...

[Brad from Georgia] Curtis always credited his persona in "Gunsmoke" to the role he played in "The Searchers."

[Maxwell] James Arness actually has a web site.

[ed kienzler] yes he does

[Laura Leff] Last I looked, Mamie Van Doren still has a Web site

[ed kienzler] i have recording of "Big Jim McClain" from 1957...

[Maxwell] Mary Hartline had one, but the last I checked it was down...the people who ran it cut back to running just 4 sites, and Mary was aced out.

[Laura Leff] Who's Mary Hartline?

[ed kienzler] she was just here in springfield in december...\

[Maxwell] She was the "bandleader" on Super Circus.

[Laura Leff] Ohhhhhhhh...I've heard about her

[steve shimp] I don't know Super Circus.

[Maxwell] A network show in the '50s broadcast from Chicago.

[Brad from Georgia] Curtis says he and John Wayne and some others were playing poker. Curtis won a hand and said, "Wal, wal, lookee hyar! Haw, haw, haw!" John Ford said, "I want you to play your part just like that." Curtis said, "But I'll sound like an idiot!"

[ed kienzler] at a fashion show in taylorville about 30 miles away

[Brad from Georgia] Ford said, "That's what you get for winning that hand, you SOB."

[ed kienzler] dick york was her MC

[Laura Leff] IIRC, Mary Hartline was known for a figure something like Mamie Van Doren's.

[Laura Leff] Poor Dick York

[Maxwell] She was better known for twirling her baton.

[Maxwell] Which she did quite well as I recall.

[ed kienzler] i didnot get to meet her bad weather

[Brad from Georgia] In other news, Carol Burnett is suing "The Family Guy".

[Laura Leff] For what?

[steve shimp] Doesn't a Mamie Van Doren figure present some "obstacles" to baton twirling?

[Brad from Georgia] Unauthorized use of her "charwoman" caricature.

[Maxwell] She was supposed to do the County Fair in Kankakee County when I was a kid, but couldn't make it for some reason.

[Maxwell] And also for too close a ripoff of her theme music.

[Laura Leff] Since I haven't seen "Family Guy", I guess I wouldn't know.

[steve shimp] Seems rather bizarre and humorless on her part.

[Brad from Georgia] "Family Guy" used the charwoman and a rip on her theme. Presented her as the cleaning lady in a porn shop.

[Laura Leff] Brad - That sounds like a Margaret Cho routine I just recently saw.

[Brad from Georgia] Made fun of her ear tug (a sentimental gesture to her dead grandmother).

[ed kienzler] it is just like jackie gleason suing hanna-barbera back in the 60's

[Laura Leff] Ed - He did?

[Laura Leff] For what? Ripping off the Flintstones?

[Brad from Georgia] Yes, for "The Flintstones."

[Maxwell] For the Flintstones.

[Laura Leff] Did he win?

[Maxwell] Too slow again!

[ed kienzler] he thought his show and the flintstones were the same

[Laura Leff] Maxwell - Just on the same wavelength.

[Laura Leff] Ed - He was right.

[Laura Leff] Just a little different era

[steve shimp] Yeah, I'd say he had a case...

[Brad from Georgia] Mel Blanc said when he was asked to do Barney Rubble, the director asked for an Art Carney impression.

[Laura Leff] Did he win?

[Brad from Georgia] Mel said he didn't do impressions and came up with Barney's variant on the Carney voice.

[ed kienzler] i dont know how far the problem went

[steve shimp] I wonder if they settled out of court. I've never heard of the lawsuit over it.

[Brad from Georgia] I don't know. Of course, the landmark case on parody was the "Gaslight" case, which Jack Benny lost!

[steve shimp] But, tons of HB characters were just riffs on celebrities.

[Laura Leff] True. Too true.

[Laura Leff] But Jack won the right to have his proceeds from the sale of Amusement Enterprises held as capital gains.

[Brad from Georgia] Yes, but "The Flintstones" more or less took the "Honeymooners" concept entirely.

[Laura Leff] Danger is my business

[Brad from Georgia] Yogi Berra tried to sue Yogi Bear.

[Laura Leff] The cap gains case was ultimately a lot more influential to the entertainment industry.

[Laura Leff] Jack really was in the wrong, at least re the practice, over Gaslight.

[Brad from Georgia] It's funny. IIRC, Jack parodied "Gaslight" on the radio with no problem; but the "Autolight" TV parody got busted.

[Laura Leff] Brad - That's because Jack wanted to do it without getting studio permission or having to plug their current films.

[Laura Leff] IIRC, he got permission the first time through.

[Brad from Georgia] BTW, Yogi Berra really did sue over the "Yogi Bear" character. His case was dismissed.

[steve shimp] What was the case against Jack? What pushed the parody over the line?

[Brad from Georgia] Jack used too many of the original lines from the script.

[Laura Leff] The practice was that if you were going to parody a movie, you got studio permission--which they almost always gave--and you plugged one of their movies in return.

[steve shimp] I see.

[Brad from Georgia] The ruling was that a parody could "call to mind" or "evoke" the original but couldn't use the exact wording.

[Maxwell] See Carol Burnette's "GWTW" parody.

[steve shimp] Ever see the original British version of Gaslight? It's better!

[Laura Leff] It is a pretty interesting ruling to read.

[ed kienzler] oh great parody

[Laura Leff] Steve - what's it called?

[Maxwell] Gaslight.

[Brad from Georgia] Bingo, Maxwell. "Oh, this dress? I saw it in the window and had to have it!"

[steve shimp] I can't remember if it's called Gaslight or uses the play name, "Angel Street"

[steve shimp] It's on the same DVD as the Ingrid Bergman version.

[Brad from Georgia] "Angel Street." I once acted in it, as Inspector Rough!

[Maxwell] I'm pretty sure it's Gaslight. It's been on TCM.

[Laura Leff] I'm assuming it's a British film version of same?

[Maxwell] They've shown them back to back on TCM.

[steve shimp] Yes.

[Brad from Georgia] LL--The American version is drastically different from the play. For one thing, I'm not in it.

[Laura Leff] Sort of like showing Dr. Strangelove and Fail Safe.

[Laura Leff] Brad - NO!

[ed kienzler] did jb get in trouble for the parody of the whistler?

[Maxwell] More like "Love Affair" and "An Affair to Remember."

[steve shimp] Oh, speaking of which - for Airplane! fans, they are finally releasing ZERO HOUR on DVD

[Laura Leff] Ed - No, but he got in trouble for his parody of...ach...

[Maxwell] They did those the same week or month or night or whatever.

[Laura Leff] Who was the Asian detective with a number one son?

[Maxwell] Charlie Chan

[Brad from Georgia] Charlie Chan.

[Laura Leff] That's it...his parody of Charlie Chan.

[Maxwell] Yay! I beat somebody!

[Laura Leff] All I could say was Mr. Moto.

[ed kienzler] fred allen show

[Maxwell] That was Peter Lorre.

[Brad from Georgia] And Eddie Carroll co-wrote "The Amazing Chan Clan" for Hanna-Barbera!

[Laura Leff] The author's family sued a bunch of people associated with the show over that

[Laura Leff] Brad - He did?

[Laura Leff] Frank Nelson was a voice on The Snorks

[Brad from Georgia] Yes, with Jamie, oh, what's his name, you know, Klinger on MASH.

[ed kienzler] great actor

[Brad from Georgia] Jamie Farr!

[Maxwell] Farr.

[Laura Leff] Jamie Farr

[Brad from Georgia] Farr out.

[Laura Leff] You beat me this time, Maxwell

[steve shimp] Snorks were drowned Smurfs. Did the Smurfs sue the Snorks?

[Maxwell] Jamahl Farrah

[Maxwell] (See Blackboard Jungle)

[Laura Leff] Steve - No, they just threatened to stop breathing until they turned....uh........

[steve shimp]  

[ed kienzler] green

[Brad from Georgia] He was Jamie Farr by the time of "No Time for Sergeants," though!

[Brad from Georgia] Casper the Ghost is the ghost of Richie Rich.

[steve shimp] And Jamie Farr was George Burns. And, somehow they are all related to Kevin Bacon.

[Brad from Georgia] Mmm....bacon.

[Laura Leff] Was Richie Rich Little?

[Maxwell] And Eggs

[Brad from Georgia] And ham. Which brings us to "To Be or Not to Be."

[Laura Leff] I'll tell Mary you had the bacon and eggs

[ed kienzler] and how rich was he

[Laura Leff] I do not like green eggs and ham. I do not like them, Sam Perrin.

[ed kienzler] vic perrin

[steve shimp] Better than eating them with "milt", Josefsberg.

[Laura Leff] Poached Perrin port sauce

[steve shimp] (Was offered cod milt in Japan - declined!)

[Brad from Georgia] "The Whos down in Who-ville liked Christmas a lot. But the gal who lived just north of Who-ville...was hot!"

User Tim has entered this room.

[ed kienzler] hi tim

[Brad from Georgia] LL--Was Boris Karloff ever a guest on the Benny show?

[Tim] hi ed

[Maxwell] Which brings to mind Tex Avery...

[Laura Leff] Hello Tim!

[Maxwell] Hi Tim

[Laura Leff] Hello Tim!

[Maxwell] Hi Tim

[Brad from Georgia] Hi, tim!

[Tim] hello Laura

[steve shimp] Hiya Tim

(some loss)

[Brad from Georgia] Very funny! By the way, there's a photo of Le Petomaine doing his stuff at http://www.damninteresting.com/?p=202. The language is the web site's,not mine.

[steve shimp] (Is "Stub" not the perfect name for the mythical Frankie's wife?)

[Laura Leff] P.S. Let me hear from you or Stub immediately because if I let Mel Blanc go I would like to replace him with Roscoe Ates.

[steve shimp]  

[Laura Leff] OK, so that's the whole letter.

[Maxwell] Excellent!

[steve shimp] I'm sure Jack must have been aware Mel would be on the road to recovery by the time he wrote that.

[Laura Leff] Jack's letters to friends are almost always like that...you read them and you just hear Jack in your head saying them.

[Maxwell] I was thinking the same thing.

[Laura Leff] Oh, the whole thing is a joke.

[ed kienzler] same

[Brad from Georgia] That's a great talent. I know people who write letters that sound all formal and cold. The IRS, for example.

[Laura Leff] Jack isn't serious at all about it. I don't think he was serious in any letter he ever wrote to Remley.

[Tim] Thing about it is, You can imagine Jack saying those things out loud (except for the profanity

[steve shimp] But, Mel was kind of touch-and-go there for awhile, right? It was near-fatal. I can't imagine Jack writing that until Mel was "out of the woods" so to speak.

[Laura Leff] Uh...let me get you a date on it

[Brad from Georgia] Mel was in a semi-coma for weeks. He says he didn't begin to come around until the doctor asked Bugs Bunny if he was feeling better!

[Laura Leff] 2/4/61

[Brad from Georgia] In Bugs's voice, Mel said, "Eh....I'm not bad, Doc. How're you?"

[Laura Leff] I'm sure you're right...Jack wouldn't have joked about it until Mel was better.

[steve shimp] Yeah, he says " a couple of weeks ago" as well.

[Brad from Georgia] Oh, certainly not. I can't see Jack as being insensitive about Mel!

[Laura Leff] Sounds like Mel's subconscious was pretty caught up with his characters, from the story (at the same site as the vocal chords) about Mel sleeping in rehearsal

[Laura Leff] I can't see Jack being insensitive about anybody.

[ed kienzler] jack and mel were friends...

[Brad from Georgia] Well...there was Quentin.

[ed kienzler] as he was with fred allen'

[Brad from Georgia] "Lookit, Tarantino, as far as I'm concerned, you're a LOUSY comedy director!"

[Laura Leff] But even with Quentin, Jack was sensitive about the relationship

[Laura Leff] Although salvos were launched on both sides of that one.

[Maxwell] I've got it! Quentin was Ernest Borgnine!

[Laura Leff] Huh?

[ed kienzler] could they make a movie of jack today i don't know who play him

[Maxwell] Ernest Borgnine played Quentin McHale!

[Laura Leff] Ed - There's a long, long theorization about that on the Forum

[Tim] thats Quinton McHale

[Maxwell]  

[Brad from Georgia] Well, if Jack wasn't insensitive about Quentin, how about with Keefe Brazil?

[Maxwell] Darn!

[Tim] sorry

[Maxwell] Party Pooper!

[Laura Leff] Brad - Some people just aren't worth worrying about.    

[Brad from Georgia] LOL!

[Laura Leff] I pooped out on The Cannibals. It really is unreadable.

[Laura Leff] I think I stopped somewhere in Chapter 4.

[Brad from Georgia] LL--I gave up less than halfway through. It is garbage!

[Laura Leff] I tried, I really tried.

[Maxwell] What else could you expect from a "talent" like Brasselle?

[Brad from Georgia] Gee, when I read a book, I want to like at least one character!

[Laura Leff] But I just got to the point that I couldn't read more than a couple pages of him proudly talking about being a smarmy jerk and women falling at his feet.

[steve shimp] You two get effort points. I am not even interested after hearing about it from you!

[Laura Leff] Smarmy is an understatement for that book

[Tim] What amazes me is how he could have been a "talent" for 15 years or so

[Maxwell] Hmmm...what's worse than smarmy?

[Laura Leff] You want to wash your hands after picking up the book

[Brad from Georgia] News: My wife is writing a Regency Romance novel, and I'm helping. I'm rewriting one of the characters so he sounds like an 1816 version of Jack Benny!

[Maxwell] Tim, I seriously doubt it.

[Laura Leff] Brad - Love it! Is he the beefy guy on the cover?

[Laura Leff] Tim - I think that he considered himself a "talent" more than anyone else.

[Brad from Georgia] No, that's his friend. The JB guy is a vain aristocrat who's very careful with a farthing. And he has a valet from Rochester.

[Maxwell] He did manage to get a couple of starring gigs on CBS, though.

[ed kienzler] illinois

[steve shimp]  

[Tim] My point is, Brasselle did enough to keep himself around entertainment from roughly 1950-65..And most accounts say he wasnt that talented

[Laura Leff] I was in a negotiation with IBM all day Friday, and they were talking about some equipment being configured in Rochester. They kept saying, "Rochester will do this" and "Rochester will do that"

[Laura Leff] Tim - He certainly wasn't a writer...I can assure you of that

[Brad from Georgia] Brasselle did a dynamite impression of Eddie Cantor, though. He said so himself.

[Maxwell] Ever see that movie?

[Laura Leff] All this and modesty too

[Maxwell] Horrible!

[Brad from Georgia] Maxwell: yes. I couldn't get over the kid with a pound o' putty on his nose who was supposed ta be dah great Durante.

[steve shimp] Sorta related - Eddie Anderson did a WHOLE lot of guest shots on the real Eddie Cantor's program.

[Maxwell] Was it only a pound?

[steve shimp] Eddie C must have really been a fan of Eddie A.

[Brad from Georgia] And I'll bet Cantor took every one of Anderson's funny lines and used them himself!

[Tim] Speaking of writing, Laura, may I indulge in a small amount of self promotion?

[Laura Leff] How was Eddie Anderson on Cantor's show?

[Laura Leff] Tim - Certainly

[Maxwell] Only if you're promoting yourself.

[steve shimp] I think Roch was piracy-proof. Eddie was great as usual.

[steve shimp] Anderson, that is.

[Brad from Georgia] So, Tim, dish?

[Laura Leff] Like people laughing at Gracie Allen when she was the straight woman

[steve shimp] Exactly, LL.

[Tim] I have just started a blog..Cleveland Classic Media..

[Brad from Georgia] Woohoo!

[ed kienzler] yea!!!\

[Laura Leff] Rah!

[Maxwell] Cool!

[Laura Leff] The crowd goes WILD!

[steve shimp] whats it all about?

[Tim] It deals with Classic Cleveland TV/Radio..I am very much a geek for stuff like that

[ed kienzler] we all are

[Laura Leff] I presume you'll be promoting it at Cincy

[Brad from Georgia] Yes, when I played Inspector Rough in a production of "Angel Street," it was in Cleveland. They loved me there.

[Brad from Georgia] Cleveland, Georgia, I mean, of course.

[ed kienzler] yea that is coming up

[Tim] Dealing with TV personalites stations and shows from Cleveland and NE Ohio..

[Tim] Laura, I cant get to Cincy..I want to one of these years

[Brad from Georgia] My wife lived in Cleveland OH for a while. I don't think she was on TV, though.

[Laura Leff] When I was a kid, I loved going to Toledo because a station there ran the Beatles cartoon shorts that were done in the mid-60s.

[Laura Leff] Tim - Understood. I haven't gotten there yet myself, but you're closer than I am.

[Brad from Georgia] "It's best to let sleeping dogs lie, / So here's to the dogs of Toledo, Ohio-- / Ladies, I bid you good-bye!"--John Denver

[Tim] Just a lot of memories, schedules, maybe some profiles

[Tim] I am about 250 miles from Cincy myself

[Laura Leff] Well, good job! Here's to a long and blogperous future for your site!

[Brad from Georgia] Oh, gosh, it's nearly 10:30 and I have a set of term papers to grade. Good bloggin, Tim! Good night, everyone!

[Tim] the address is clevelandclassicmedia.blogspot.com

[Laura Leff] Night, Brad!

[ed kienzler] how is it listed

User Brad from Georgia has logged out.

[Maxwell] G'night Brad.

[Tim] Night Brad

[steve shimp] yep. Good luck with it, Tim!

[ed kienzler] too late ooops

[Maxwell] Since we have OTR fans here, I'd like to plug a site that I go to a lot....

[Laura Leff] I've got some stuff I need to get done tonight as well. Shall we call it good for this month?

[Laura Leff] Sure, go for it Maxwell

[steve shimp] Adios, Brad - for the transcript. The typing is a bit slow for me for some reason?

[Laura Leff] www.jackbenny.org?

[Tim] I realize not many are from Cleveland here..but Classic TV is universal I think

[Maxwell] It covers the entire history of broadcasting (local and network) in Chicago from 1921-89

[steve shimp]   LL

[Laura Leff] Oh is this Dave Siegel's site?

[Tim] Thanks for letting me do that Laura..

[Maxwell] http://www.richsamuels.com/

[Laura Leff] Tim - No problem.

[Laura Leff] Who is Rich Samuels? Should I know him?

[Maxwell] Even has floor plans and photos of the NBC radio studios in the Merchandise Mart.

[steve shimp] OK folks, I am good for the evening as well. This has been a fun, crazy chat. See you all next month!

[Laura Leff] Dang

[Maxwell] He was a local newsman in Chicago...street reporter mainly.

User Tim has logged out.

[Laura Leff] Take care, Steve!

[steve shimp] Night!

[Maxwell] G'night steve

[ed kienzler] and who could forget in chicago chuck schaden

User steve shimp has logged out.

[Laura Leff] Of course

[Maxwell] No Benny on Schaden's show until June.

User Tim has entered this room.

[ed kienzler] i ve met him twice and he is a verynice man

[Tim] oops

[Laura Leff] Yes, Chuck is a nice guy

[Maxwell] I've never met him, but I've been a fan for years.

[Tim] Ive been to that Chicago site..awesome

[Tim] Chuck Schaden

[Maxwell] He did a program about Bob Crosby's band a couple of years ago....

[ed kienzler] i hope that museum gets up sometime again

[Tim] i agree ed

[Laura Leff] Is the MBC still in mothballs?

[Maxwell] And I let Ed Metz (leader of the current Bob Cats) know about it...he sent Chuck a CD and he played a couple of tracks on his show.

[Maxwell] LL: Yeah...State of IL has reneged on funding.

[Laura Leff] Shame

[ed kienzler] your right big story in paper here last year

[Maxwell] Anyway, check out Samuels' site...it's really fascinating.

[Maxwell] Lots of clips, too.

[Laura Leff] I'll have to do that

[Laura Leff] in my copious spare time   

[Tim] I found a show he did with Jim Jordan in 1974..The history of OTR..The plot was Chuck would visit with "Fibber McGee" and listen to a "Magic Radio

[Maxwell] Yeah...you've got loads of that, I'm sure.

[Laura Leff] *Sigh*

[Maxwell] Chuck had some great tapes of interviews he did with Benny cast members that he played all through February.

[Laura Leff] Tim - As opposed to Froggy plunking his "Magic Twanger"

[Maxwell] He is selling CDs of them, I think.

[Tim] LOL!

[ed kienzler] illinois central college had a fmam display a few years ago in poria

[Laura Leff] It took Chuck and me quite some years to connect, but I'm glad we did.

[ed kienzler] peoria

[Laura Leff] fmam?

[Maxwell] LL, believe it or not, some gal in IL has a site dedicated to Smilin' Ed and Froggy.

[ed kienzler] fiiber mcgee...

[Laura Leff] Oh I get it

[Tim] It was like a 7 week series..Done as "Fibber" episodes

[Laura Leff] Maxwell - People really love that show. The aforementioned friend brought along some copies of it on a road trip we took once.

[Maxwell] I can still remember when Smilin' Ed died.

[Laura Leff] Was he still smilin?

[Maxwell] That was my contribution to the site.

[Maxwell] I doubt it.

[Tim] Id say he was from what ive read about him

[Laura Leff] Reminds me of a dirty joke that they adapted into the Benny show

[ed kienzler] go

[Tim] He was a good man from all accounts

[Maxwell] Wasn't he ordained, too?

[Tim] I think so

[Laura Leff] That's good. It's nice to know about celebrities being good people.

[Maxwell] I've got shoes

[Maxwell] You've got shoes

[Laura Leff] I Always Had Shoes

[Maxwell] Everybody's gotta have shoes

[Maxwell] But there's only one kind of shoes for me

[Maxwell] Buster Brown Shoes!

[Laura Leff] Somehow, I knew you were going to say that

[Maxwell] I still remember that, and I couldn't have been more than 4 years old.

[ed kienzler] i once took a tour of the chicago theatre and who shows up chuck schaden

[Laura Leff] ZOOM Z-double O-M Box 3-5-oh Boston, Mass OH-two-ONE-three-FOUR

[Laura Leff] Send it to ZOOM!

[Laura Leff] Shows you how impressionable we are at a young age.

[Maxwell] Yup.

[Maxwell] Look for the red, yellow and blue balloons printed on the wrapper.

[Maxwell] Hint: Helps build strong bodies 8 ways.

[Laura Leff] Well, it's been a fun, free wheeling evenign folks

[Tim] Wonder Bread

[Maxwell] Yeah, my wife is already in bed.

[Laura Leff] Sal Hepatica?

[ed kienzler] wonder

[ed kienzler] bread

[Maxwell] You wonder if it's bread.

[Maxwell] ?

[Tim] thought it was 12 ways

[Maxwell] It was originally 8.

[Laura Leff] eight, twelve ways...as long as you're healthy

[Maxwell] I remember when they changed it to 12.

[Maxwell] Early '50s.

[ed kienzler] edited for contents

[Laura Leff] Lucky Strike Green has gone to war

[Maxwell] And never came back.

[Tim] It amazes me too how you remember TV themes. Even if the shows are bad

[Laura Leff] I'm going to pack it in tonight. Thanks for stopping, and I'll see you next month!