IJBFC Chat - February 4, 2007

(Name of message originator in [] brackets at the beginning of each line)

[Steve *shimp*] Hi LL

[Brad from Georgia] Nope, I got a Dell, dude! Big old honker, too.

[Laura Leff] Hi folks!

[KayLhota] hi Laura

[Brad from Georgia] Hi, LL!

[Laura Leff] Gee...I know everyone here...

[Brad from Georgia] Missed you guys last month. We were on the road on the day of the chat.

[Laura Leff] And Brad, you're the only one I haven't met in person yet.

[Laura Leff] Brad - Was that your Michigan trip?

[Brad from Georgia] Heh, we'll fix that one of these days.

[Steve *shimp*] Yeah, I had a big conference in town and three houseguests last chat.

[Laura Leff] Brad - Absolutely.

[Laura Leff] Kay - Looks like it's been pretty cold out your way

[Brad from Georgia] LL-No, I've been doing book signings around and about, and I forget where we were...Nashville, I think.

[Brad from Georgia] Going down to seventeen degrees tomorrow night. We had a snow day on Thursday!

[KayLhota] Yes. We have had to make up for all of those warm days at the New Year.

[Laura Leff] Brad - Do your signings ever bring you out this way?

[Brad from Georgia] LL-Once I got to sign in San Francisco, once in San Diego. No plans for CA on the menu right now, though.

[Laura Leff] Brad - OK. Well, I'm not looking to move anywhere else in the foreseeable future.

[Brad from Georgia] I was in Harlem, Georgia on Friday--birthplace of Oliver "Babe" Hardy!

[KayLhota] wow

[Steve *shimp*] So is this the day where you decide where your loyalties lie, football or Benny?

[Steve *shimp*] maybe a small crowd tonight...

[Laura Leff] Dan told me this morning that it was Super Bowl Sunday.

[KayLhota] I wasn't able to get to the Sons convention this year, so I've never been down that way

[Laura Leff] It was funny...he said, "Guess what today is!"

User TuckerMike has entered this room.

[Brad from Georgia] I can't stand to watch the Super Bowl...can't take the suspense...I have a nickel riding on the outcome.

[Laura Leff] I thought for a minute and said, "It's your father's 80th birthday!"

[Steve *shimp*] Jack'd be rootin' for the Bears, I suppose.

[Laura Leff] He said, "Oh...gosh...right! That too!"

[Laura Leff] So who's playing today?

[Steve *shimp*] Bears vs Colts.

[Laura Leff] Hi Mike

[Brad from Georgia] The Bears and the Colts.

[Laura Leff] What city is the Colts?

[Laura Leff] You can tell we're big football fans (not).

[Steve *shimp*] Indianapolis. So, Phil's team

[Brad from Georgia] Sorry, Steve, I'm typin' slow....

[Laura Leff] You'd think I'd know that, living in Fort Wayne for six years one night.

[Steve *shimp*] Formerly Bawlmer. (That's "Baltimore")

[TuckerMike] Howdy all

[Brad from Georgia] Hi, Mike.

[Steve *shimp*] Hi TuckerMike!

[KayLhota] Hi Mike

[Laura Leff] I presume William "Refrigerator" Perry no longer plays for the Bears?

[Steve *shimp*] No, and they don't do that shuffle anymore either, darnit.

[Laura Leff] So let's think about this for a moment...Benny-related...

[Laura Leff] Jack tries to tune in the World Series

[Laura Leff] Tries to tune in boxing

[Laura Leff] Tries to tune in a car race

[Brad from Georgia] "Philsey, I WOULD bet with you, but it's no contest. Did you ever try to ride a bear?"

[Laura Leff] Goes to the racetrack with the horses and "Our Fancy" (and others)

[Steve *shimp*] Jack was more into the Rose Bowl...

[Laura Leff] Actually yes...I guess there were football references on Jack's show as well

[Brad from Georgia] "No, Jackson, but I've drunk a Colt or two..."

[Laura Leff] Saturday's Hero, case in point

User Maxwell has entered this room.

[Laura Leff] Steve - Yes, you're right.

[TuckerMike] "shakes her tamborine.."

[Brad from Georgia] Maxwell! Hi!

[Steve *shimp*] Hey Maxwell!

[Laura Leff] I guess not being a football fan myself, refernces to it don't register with me as much.

[Laura Leff] Hi Maxwell!

[Maxwell] Hi from Superbowl Half-Time.

[Laura Leff] I thought the game started at 7

[Maxwell] Well, I'm not really AT the Super Bowl...but it IS hald-time.

[Laura Leff] Maybe that's East Coast time.

[Maxwell] Started at 5:30 CST.

[Brad from Georgia] (Mel Blanc as the halftime marching band): Eehh-ehhh eh ehh-ehh ehh-ehhhh.....

[Laura Leff]  

[KayLhota]  

[Laura Leff] A marching electric organ...

[Maxwell] Sounds just like an electric organ.

[Steve *shimp*] 'course the Superbowl didn't exist in Jack's day.

[TuckerMike] Mel Banc as Prince??

[Laura Leff] Hey, there's an echo in here

[Laura Leff] So what was the pro football playoff in those days?

[Maxwell] They had division winners (at least in the '50s), and they played off sometime in late December.

[TuckerMike] Symapthy Soothing Surup paid out the nose for a super bowl spot

[Laura Leff] Mike -   

[Steve *shimp*] heheheh.

[Steve *shimp*] sniff

[Laura Leff] So what games were played January - May?

[Maxwell] Where's Yhtapmys when we need him?

[KayLhota] yip yip

[Maxwell] Basketball.

[Maxwell] And baseball started in April.

[Laura Leff] OK, now THERE'S a sport that I never remember hearing mentioned much on the Benny show.

[TuckerMike] yeah that and hockey I reckon

[Laura Leff] Basketball, that is

[Maxwell] Yup...hockey and basketball went until about March.

[Brad from Georgia] "And now, ladies and gentlemen, for your halftime entertainment...Jack Benny and Janet Jackson!"

[TuckerMike] brb,

[Laura Leff] Brad - Oh my

[KayLhota] what an image

[Laura Leff] Mental image of Jack struggling to rip off part of the costume and being unable to do it

[Steve *shimp*] Knowing Jack, he'd do a parody where HE was wearing a tricked out nipple ring.

[KayLhota]  

[Maxwell] I can't even picture Jack making the attempt.

[Brad from Georgia] "What was that, Jack?" "Uhhh...I had a VIOLIN malfunction...."

[Laura Leff] Jack in a nipple ring...............two things that never entered my mind simultaneously before.

[KayLhota]  

[Steve *shimp*] Come into the chat room, get scarred for life.

User yhtapmys has entered this room.

[Laura Leff] There s/he is!

[Laura Leff] Yht - We were just talking about you.

[KayLhota] Yip Yip yhtapmys

[Maxwell] We were just talking about you Yht.

[Steve *shimp*] hiya yhtapmys!

[Brad from Georgia] Hiya, ytapmys!

[yhtapmys] Friends, are you feeling droopy?

[Laura Leff] And conjuring thoughts of whether Jack would wear a nipple ring.

[yhtapmys] Sorry, was about to launch into a commercial for Soothing Syrup.

[Maxwell] Droopy? My favorite cartoon dog!

[Laura Leff] We're gonna need it after that image.

[yhtapmys] I'd prefer Snuffles myself.

[Laura Leff] So let's get to Mail Call...any thoughts?

[KayLhota] I'll never forget that night of the wardrobe malfunction. I was in the other room getting a plate of lasagna

[Steve *shimp*] Yeah, a couple.

[Maxwell] Well, I heard the show about a month ago...

[yhtapmys] Same, here, Max.

[Steve *shimp*] I liked hearing Jack interact with Harry Von Zell, who I always like.

[Maxwell] And all I remember now is Jack mispronouncing Cairo, IL.

[KayLhota] yes, Harry Von Zell is a nice announcer

[Steve *shimp*] Yes! Max, I was thinking, back home they would be saying "he's gone hollywood, Myrt!"

[Steve *shimp*] It's KAY-Ro, Jack!

[Maxwell] Steve, precisely my thought.

[Laura Leff] Like KAY-Ro syrup?

[Brad from Georgia] Johnny Mercer! My man from Savannah! The sentimental gentleman from Georgia himself! Writer of "Strip Polka!"

[Steve *shimp*] Yep, LL.

[yhtapmys] Well, he's the guy who wouldn't call it "Saint Joseph"

[Maxwell] Laura, yup. LIke the syrup.

[Laura Leff] Just in case something rips, and the band plays the polka while she strips...

[Steve *shimp*] In Michigan there's a town spelled Pompeii. Pronounced, Pom-E-Eye.

User yhtapmys has logged out.

[Laura Leff] Take it off, take it off all the customers shout

[Steve *shimp*] Pomp-E-Eye...

[Laura Leff] In Indiana there's Peru, pronounced PEE-roo

[Maxwell] And then there's Milan (MY-lan), IN.

[Laura Leff] And Galveston, pronounced Gal-VES-tun

[Steve *shimp*] There's a My-Lan Michigan as well.

[Laura Leff] There's Hell, Michigan

[Brad from Georgia] Taliaferro, Georgia. It's pronounced "Bob."

[Maxwell] Been to Hell.

[Laura Leff] And back

[Steve *shimp*] Pronounced, HEEEEL.

[Maxwell] Yup.

[KayLhota]  

[Steve *shimp*] j/k

[Maxwell] Me and Audie Murphy.

User yhtapmys has entered this room.

[KayLhota] welcome back

[Laura Leff] They love me in Hell

[Brad from Georgia] Actually, "Taliaferro" is "Tolliver." It's like "Cholmondeley," pronounced "Chumley."

[Steve *shimp*] Don't leave Mich before you see Hell and Climax.

[yhtapmys] Silly me. Hit the wrong button.

[Laura Leff] I've seen Climax. At least I've seen the exit for it.

[Steve *shimp*] We have lots of Taliaferro stuff here in Virginny as well.

[Laura Leff] Blue Balls, Pennsylvania

[Brad from Georgia] Albany, Georgia is pronounced "ALL-benny."

[Steve *shimp*] I work on Botetourt street. Pronounced, Bot-a-tot.

[yhtapmys] Steve, there's a Climax in Saskatchewan. It's near Swift Current.

[Laura Leff] Like Peabody, Massachusetts

[Brad from Georgia] Pibbidy.

[Maxwell] I used to dance the Pibbidy.

[Steve *shimp*] Intercourse, PA doesn't even put city limits signs up anymore, people just steal them.

[Laura Leff] Maybe they should change their name to something like Chastity

[Laura Leff] So again Benny related, trivia time!

[Steve *shimp*] Then Cher fans would just steal 'em.

[Laura Leff] What does "Waukegan" mean?

[Steve *shimp*] Little Fort

[Brad from Georgia] Say, bud, how do I get from Intercourse to Climax? "WELLLLLLLL, if you don't know by NOW....."

[Laura Leff] DING DING DING DING

[Brad from Georgia] We all ears, LL

[Steve *shimp*] Or, the Walking Man, if you listen to Ralph Edwards

[Laura Leff] When Bill Cosby was at the Genesee and asked that question and the audience answered, he thought they said "Little Fart"

[Laura Leff] It means Little Fort

[Maxwell] Stupid Northeastern IL accent.

[Laura Leff] Max -   

[yhtapmys] Jack's got a lovely dated joke in the Mailcall show no one will get today.

[Laura Leff] And where's the city where Salisbury and Benny first appeared?

User Mike Amo has entered this room.

[Maxwell] Although I clearly say fort, but then again, I'm originally from about 80-90 miles south of Waukegan.

[Laura Leff] Yht - Which one?

[Mike Amo] Hi kids!

[KayLhota] Hi Mike

[Steve *shimp*] Hiya Mike

[Laura Leff] Hey Mike!

[Maxwell] Yes, please remind us of the joke.

[Maxwell] Hi Mike.

[Brad from Georgia] Two mikes! We're in stereo!

[yhtapmys] The one about the livery stable.. he's in there pitching. No one will understand the horseshoe reference today.

[Maxwell] I did.

[KayLhota] I got it

[Brad from Georgia] Uhh...it isn't horseSHOES he's pitching....

[Laura Leff] Brad - Star Mike and supporting cast mike

[Brad from Georgia] He's shoveling horse by-products.

[Laura Leff] Yht - I thought he was pitching hay

[Maxwell] We used to pitch horseshoes when I was a kid. My grandpa had a setup for that.

[Laura Leff] I suppose he could have been pitching woo

[Brad from Georgia] Trust me on this, it's manure. My grampa had me pitch enough of that for me to get it.

[Mike Amo] lol...not much different from my job

[Laura Leff] Brad - Right...that too

[Brad from Georgia] Yep, I'm still in education myself.

[Steve *shimp*] LL, want to inform on the Salisbury and Benny city, that got lost...

[Maxwell] I pitch that stuff all the time in my classes.

[Laura Leff] The scene with Judy Garland seems like one of those stock scenes that they used slightly modified versions of for years

[Laura Leff] Steve - go for it

[Brad from Georgia] Oh, we got a mailer from the Disney collectors' club with a great photo of Eddie Carroll in it.

[Maxwell] Very similar to the Irene Dunn TV show.

[Steve *shimp*] Yeah, the skit was done elsewhere a lot and better. Disappointing.

[Steve *shimp*] I dunno the city, I was hoping you'd tell us?

[yhtapmys] Is Eddie doing a show as Walt now?   

[Brad from Georgia] Yes, the writing wasn't very sharp in the skit, though I thought Jack and Judy tried hard.

[Laura Leff] So many people think of Judy Garland from Wizard of Oz that it seems almost...well...unhealthy.

[Brad from Georgia] Yht--nope, as Jiminy Cricket.

[Laura Leff] Any guesses on the city?

[Maxwell] I prefer to think of her from A Star Is Born.

[yhtapmys] So who would have done the writing?

[Maxwell] Peoria?

[Laura Leff] Max - Nope

[Laura Leff] East

[Maxwell] St. Joe?

[Maxwell] Oops.

[Laura Leff] Nope

[Maxwell] Podunk

[Steve *shimp*] Good question yht. I always wonder about the writers for these things.

[Laura Leff] Close

[Steve *shimp*] Altoona?

[Laura Leff] Steve - Nope. West

[Maxwell] Cleveland

[yhtapmys] Probably Carroll Carroll. He wrote everything   

[Laura Leff] It was George Burns they loved in Altoona

[Laura Leff] Max - Nope. West

[Maxwell] Indianapolis

[Laura Leff] Yht - Eddie's wife?

[Laura Leff] Maxwell - Warmer. North

[Maxwell] Gary

[Laura Leff] DING DING DING DING

[Maxwell] *cough*

[yhtapmys] |No, Laura, I was talking about Mail Call. Who wrote it?

[Mike Amo] I think I missed the city question, so I'll go with Joliet

[Laura Leff] Yht - I'm not sure. I was wondering about that myself.

[Steve *shimp*] My nose hurts just thinking about Gary...

[Mike Amo] aww darn

[Laura Leff] Mike - Where Salisbury and Benny first appeared.

[Maxwell] I used to teach in Gary.

[Laura Leff] Steve - That makes two of us.

[Laura Leff] Max - How'd you get the smell out?

[Steve *shimp*] Those fumes bleached Michael and La Toya!

[Brad from Georgia] Never been to Gary, though I understand the syncopation is elegant there.

[Maxwell] When they'd make coke in the mill, the smell of hydrogen sulfide (rotten eggs) filled the city.

[TuckerMike] yeah I'm listening to this "Mail Call" so what's the story behind it?

[yhtapmys] Another Armed Forces show.

[Brad from Georgia] Was "Mail Call" primarily for the troops abroad?

[Laura Leff] I always knew when we were driving through Gary, and I'd pull my head into my sleeping bad.

[Laura Leff] bag

[Maxwell] Strictly for the troops.

[Maxwell] kind of like Command Performance.

[yhtapmys] I think so, Brad.

[Laura Leff] I'd heard somewhere that Mail Call was supposed to be for African American troops, but that sounds wrong.

[TuckerMike] yeah like "Jill and the GI Jive"

[Steve *shimp*] LL, maybe you're thinking of Jubilee

[yhtapmys] But you'd think they'd be by transcription so the sound quality should be better.

[Laura Leff] Steve - YES, you're right again.

[Laura Leff] Yht - Maybe it was a V-Disc.

[yhtapmys] Jubilee

[Laura Leff] Or a copy that got sent around.

[yhtapmys] Jubilee's a great show.

[Laura Leff] I've got to hear the one with Jack on it one day.

[yhtapmys] He was on Jubilee?

[Laura Leff] Yht - Yup

[Steve *shimp*] Jack's on a couple, Roch is on several, with and without Jack.

[yhtapmys] I've heard one with Rochester.

[Steve *shimp*] At least one of Jack's appearances on Jubilee is terrific.

[Steve *shimp*] He and Roch seem extra relaxed and giggly.

[Laura Leff] Steve - Tell us about it. I haven't heard it.

[Brad from Georgia] Tell us, Steve.

[TuckerMike] the only other "Mail Call" that I have is the burns and Allen one

[yhtapmys] Any links to them, Steve?

[Steve *shimp*] LL, I think I sent you a disc of it! So, hunt through your old mail.

[Laura Leff] Steve - Oh, I know I've got it. Just the hours in the day thing.

[Steve *shimp*] As I recall, Jack plays "Ida Sweet as Apple Cider".

[Laura Leff] There are a lot of things I've had for years and not heard yet.

[Steve *shimp*] And just gets a huge reaction from the crowd.

[Brad from Georgia] I've heard a Bob Hope "Mail Call," or at least part of one. And Mel Blanc was on a couple.

[Laura Leff] Jack was pretty good on "Ida"

(some loss)

[Maxwell] Back to Von Zell, I'd just like to point out that he had excellent comedic acting ability. I've been watching him on Burns and Allen again for months now.

[yhtapmys] I like Harry, but I thought his Birdseye spots on the Dinah Shore Show were too over the top.

[Brad from Georgia] Von Zell did befuddled really well!

[Laura Leff] Yht - I don't know that I've heard them

[Steve *shimp*] Von Zell did funny "double-takes" with Gracie.

[Maxwell] He played off Gracie extremely well.

[yhtapmys] They're on line, Laura; I can't remember where.

[yhtapmys] I liked Harry better on TV.

[Laura Leff] Is it like Head-On headache remedy?

[Brad from Georgia] "Buy Bird's Eye! Buy 'em, I tell ya! I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE, PUNK!!!"

[Brad from Georgia] ....well, not really....

[Laura Leff] I didn't know George Washington Hill made advertising decisions for Birdseye as well.

[Steve *shimp*] Von Zell was also on Fred Allen's show, but I don't think he was given as much material as say, Don Wilson on Jack's program.

[Maxwell] Kind of like the "drink Schlitz or I'll kill you campaign.

[yhtapmys] I think of Harry as George and Gracie's announcer, when it was actually the uninteresting Toby Reid for awhile.

[Laura Leff] Smoke Luckies and THEY'LL kill you

[Steve *shimp*] Yeah, Harry Von Zell only did a season or two with B&A on radio.

[Maxwell] It was Bill Goodwin for several years (B&A).

[Brad from Georgia] "And now, direct from Hollywood, put your hands together for the uninteresting Toby Reid!"

[Laura Leff] Eat Jell-O or smear it on the floor during Lights Out.

[yhtapmys] Steve, Fred didn't interact with Kenny Delmar too much either. IMaybe he tought he could get his humour out another way.

[Maxwell] Except when Delmar was Sen. Claghorn.

[Laura Leff] Brad - Takes me back to the Keefe Brasselle discussion.

[Brad from Georgia] Oh, I'm looking at that paperback of CanniBalS, LL--I'll drop it in the mail to you. I keep forgetting.

[Laura Leff] Brad - Too late. I bought my own copy.

[yhtapmys] That book is still around?

[Brad from Georgia] So you shouldn't hate me, I warn you it's a bad book.

[Laura Leff] I just got through Chapter 3.

[Brad from Georgia] LL--AWFUL, ain't it?

[Laura Leff] Brad - I've found that out.

[yhtapmys] I read about it in "CBS - Reflections of a Bloodshot Eye", I think.

[Laura Leff] It really is!

[KayLhota] well, any book that gives it to james Aubrey can't be all bad

[Steve *shimp*] Is there a reason for the weird capitalization?

[Steve *shimp*] OK, I get it. Duh.

[Laura Leff] Keefe Braselle writes his own character to be such a completely unlikeable scum of a person

[Brad from Georgia] Poor "Jackie Burns" really gets a bum deal...the capitalization is to show up C-B-S....

[Maxwell] LL, that's because he was.

[Laura Leff] Jackie Benson

[Laura Leff] Maxwell - I know, but you'd think that he'd still paint himself as some kind of winner.

[KayLhota] such a shame

[Laura Leff] Maybe he thinks he did

[Brad from Georgia] LL--Do you see what I mean about all the frippin' "J-B" names? It was worse than Russian names in "The Brothers Karamazov."

[KayLhota] who knows?

[Maxwell] Or the LL's in Superman.

[Laura Leff] Brad - Yes...or Tolkien's Lord of the Rings

[yhtapmys] Well, Braselle did well by Jim Aubrey until their shows went into the toilet.

[Laura Leff] I loved it when he compares J.J. Bingham favorably against James Aubrey.

[Laura Leff] Oh and Cardinal Productions (as opposed to his own Richelieu Productions). DUH!

[KayLhota]  

[yhtapmys] Laura, what fake name does.. oh, never mind.

[Brad from Georgia] I kept thinking of J.B. Biggley, from "How to Succeed in Business."

[yhtapmys] I was just going to ask that.

[Maxwell] It that what they call "thinly disguised"?

[Laura Leff] Does anyone know who Mario Corlucci would have been?

[Brad from Georgia] Jack Benny is Jackie Burns.

[Laura Leff] Maxwell - Like the Emperor's clothes

[yhtapmys] What's the context of the character?

[Laura Leff] Brad - In CanniBalS? No, it's Jackie Benson.

[Laura Leff] Yht - Which character?

[Brad from Georgia] Right, I'd expunged that!

[yhtapmys] Corlucci

[yhtapmys] What is he in the book?

[Laura Leff] Yht - He's supposedly a recent Italian immigrant, or that's how Braselle wants to see him.

[Laura Leff] Hang on, let me grab it and give you the opening intro of the character.

[Brad from Georgia] Jackie Benson is an old, washed up comic whose bitterness and gall keep the "hero's" innovative show off the air so his lame comedy can limp on....

[yhtapmys] What does he do? It's not Sarnoff, is it?

[Maxwell] You mean the lame comedy that was still in the top 15 in the Nielson's?

[KayLhota] it's too bad that he had to write the comic that way.

[Brad from Georgia] The hero's show is called, if I recall correctly, "Sandstorm," and it's about a casino. It sounds as if it might be written by Stewie Griffin on an off day.

[Laura Leff] Actually, I'm not sure. But he's one of the CBS management.

[Laura Leff] Jack's "Checkmate" becomes Jackie Benson's "Chessgame"

[yhtapmys] Hmm.

[Laura Leff] DUH again

[yhtapmys] Doesn't sound familiar.

[Maxwell] Checkmate was actually a pretty fair show. We used to watch it.

[yhtapmys] Not Hub Robinson.

[Brad from Georgia] The duh factor looms large in a Brasselle tome....

[yhtapmys] Not Frank Stanton.

[Laura Leff] QMA is obviously MCA

[yhtapmys] Not Jack Schneider.

[Brad from Georgia] Yep, I liked "Checkmate." Sebastian Cabot was my idol. I determined to grow a beard, but had to wait until I was twelve.

[yhtapmys] Not Fred Friendly.

[Laura Leff] I thought I saw a Lew Wasserman reference, but I think I was wrong.

[yhtapmys] I'm stumped.

[Laura Leff] In chapter 1, he credits "beady-eyed Chester Plan" and "fawning Mario Colucci" with bringing down James Aubrey

[Maxwell] As I recall Anthony George didCheckmate not long after he became the only member of The Untouchables to be killed.

[Laura Leff] Are there any "Checkmates" in circulation?

[Laura Leff] What was the show about?

[Maxwell] I think I've seen them.

[Maxwell] It was an agency of private detectives that tried to prevent crimes before they occurred.

[Brad from Georgia] "Checkmate" was about a private-eye company (three operatives) that pre-empted crimes.

[Maxwell] Cabot was the criminologist of the bunch, iirc.

[Laura Leff] Pre-Family Affair, I take it

[KayLhota] that does sound interesting

[Maxwell] Doug McClure was the third member.

[Laura Leff] Comedy or drama?

[Maxwell] Drama.

[Steve *shimp*] And Jack produced this show?

[Laura Leff] Must have been produced by MCA/J&M Productions

[Maxwell] Yes on cabot.

[yhtapmys] You know Braselle was married to one of the five DeMarco Sisters?

[Laura Leff] I put a post on the Forum about CanniBalS, but yes, it's pretty awful.

[Laura Leff] "Joey, when you crap, this guy wipes"

[Maxwell] Not one of the three Landrews Sisters?

[Laura Leff] Yuk

[Brad from Georgia] Anthony George was also one of the PIs.

[Maxwell] Right...post-Untouchables and pre-Search for Tomorrow.

[KayLhota] Good lord. I know Anthony George from when he played on "Dark Shadows"

[yhtapmys] Maybe it's Mike Dann.

[Laura Leff] Is that Arlene, who he mentions in the forward as his wife?

[Laura Leff] I've heard Dark Shadows is a good series

[Mike Amo] He did, Kay? Who was he on there?

[Maxwell] It was.

[Maxwell] We used to watch it every day when I was in college.

[KayLhota] He replaced Mitch Ryan as Burke Devlin

[Steve *shimp*] Anthony George was the second Burke Devlin, after Mitch Ryan (DS fan)

[Steve *shimp*] What Kay said.

[Brad from Georgia] Just checked IMDB..."Checkmate" was produced by, ta-da, J&M Productions.

[Maxwell] He married Mary Stuart (Joanne) on Search for Tomorrow.

[KayLhota] and Anthony George portrayed Jeremiah Collins in the 1795 storyline

[yhtapmys] Laura, is Chester Plan, Mike Dann?

[yhtapmys] Dann was Aubrey's No. 1.

[Laura Leff] Yht - I don't know who Mike Dann is. And I don't think I've seen Chester in the plot yet.

[Maxwell] I'd forgotten about him in DS.

[Mike Amo] A lot of unfamiliar territory to me so not following well...also in some pain...any masseuse in the area? {:oP

[KayLhota] well, it was for a period of months during 1967.

[TuckerMike] yusa has Red Skelton on.. yeish

[Maxwell] Ah...when I was still in high school.

[Mike Amo] Chester? I remember him from Gunsmoke {:oD

[Brad from Georgia] And "Checkmate" was 1960-62.

[yhtapmys] Give me a second to transcribe this...

[Mike Amo] I was in L.A. Sunday-Wednesday after a cruise...the Buck Benny sandwich is still on the menu at Canters

[Laura Leff] Wow...so all this derrogatory talk about Jack's work was even before things sort of went south on the TV show

[Steve *shimp*] Who names their kid Burke?

[KayLhota]  

[Maxwell] People with that for a last name?

[Steve *shimp*] Burke Burke

[Laura Leff] Steve - Maybe a Swedish chef? Burke Burke Burke

[KayLhota]  

[Mike Amo] The only derrogatory talk I ever heard about Jack's TV show was that Dennis sure looked old for a "kid"

[Brad from Georgia] Well, Keefe Brasselle was just kind of a writer who...the type of novelist that...he...Oh, he was a jerk.

[yhtapmys] "Aubrey's No. 1 assistant, Mike Dann, got the news of Keefe's three shows at one time. He learned of the third show from CBS counsel, Sal Iannucci, who stopped Dann in the hall to tell him he had to give him the important news."

[Laura Leff] Brad - and that's putting it mildly

[Laura Leff] AHA!

[Laura Leff] Sal Iannucci - Mario Colucci

[KayLhota] well, Keefe's career never recovered after that

[Brad from Georgia] such as it was...

[Maxwell] Keefe never had a career except in his own mind.

(some loss)

[yhtapmys] Anyway, Laura, have I solved your mystery for you?

[Brad from Georgia] Pinky Lee was like an old guy on a walker compared to Keefe.

[Maxwell] When Keefe sang, he made Johnny Ray look like Perry Como.

[KayLhota]  

[Laura Leff] "I went into minute detail. That Jackie Benson used to be a star in radio and was the first really big star to jump from a rival network to BCA. That the jump brought him a special relationship with the Chairman."

[Laura Leff] Maxwell - Made you cry, eh?

[Maxwell] Every time.

[Laura Leff] Yht - Yup, that looks like it.

[TuckerMike] did people think Red Skelton was annoying back in his day?

[Brad from Georgia] When Keefe sang, there wasn't a dry eye in the house. Everyone had crashed into the door trying to get out and had broken their noses.

[KayLhota]  

[Maxwell] Let's be careful what we say about Red around me.

[Mike Amo]  

[Laura Leff] Mike - Just have some Guzzler's Gin...makes it better.

[KayLhota] I've heard him sing. I think you could be right

[Steve *shimp*] One of the bios said Jack only referred to Brasselle as "Keith Brazil" for the rest of his life. Typical Jack, shooting back at a cannon with a peashooter.

[Laura Leff] Brad   

[Laura Leff] Has anyone seen the Eddie Cantor Story?

[Brad from Georgia] The only thing about Red Skelton that I never liked was his constant breaking up at his own material. That got annoying. But I thought he was funny, both

[Maxwell] PLEASE NO!!!!!!

[Laura Leff] Steve - That must have been Milt

[KayLhota] Yes, but I heard Keefe sing in a movie from the 70's

[yhtapmys] I get the impression from my book that Iannucci and Dann were not big fans of Aubrey or Braselle and were quite pleased when their shenanigans were uncovered.

[Brad from Georgia] in his original show and when he came back as Benny Hill.

[Maxwell] Let's not bring up the Cantor Story!

[Laura Leff] Maxwell - Your own Jet Benny, eh?

[KayLhota] the LP of the movie is good. Forget the film.

[Maxwell] LL, Pretty close.

[Laura Leff] Mike Dann you said?

[yhtapmys] Yeah.

[yhtapmys] Aubrey was going to fire Dann...

[Laura Leff] Chester Plan - Mike Dann. Yeah, probably.

[yhtapmys] And got fired himself and Dann got promoted.

[Brad from Georgia] Oh, gaud, the Cantor story....how many pounds of nose putty did they put on that kid who was supposed to be Durante?

[yhtapmys] Dann ended up at NBC later.

[Maxwell] Brad: 15 I think.

[Brad from Georgia] More like a million of 'em. Ah-cha-cha.

[Laura Leff] Mental image of someone who has their nose built out so far it's touching the floor

[KayLhota]  

[KayLhota] I thought the movie was interesting, but I also wanted to rewrite it and recast Ida

[Maxwell] You will note that the Eddie Cantor Story is one of the few major biopics that are never seen anymore.

[Laura Leff] Who played Ida?

[Brad from Georgia] LL--Did Mickey Rooney ever work with Jack? I wanted to ask him that last September, but I didn't get a chance to ask a question.

[Laura Leff] Brad - Yes, he was on the TV show. They did a "prison of the future" sketch.

[KayLhota] I forget her name. She was pretty and blond and bland

[TuckerMike] oh boy

[Laura Leff] Brad - I even, sorta, interviewed Rooney backstage at Sugar Babies years ago (redundant)

[TuckerMike] oh boy

[Maxwell] Marilyn Erskine.

[TuckerMike] oops

[Maxwell] I love IMDB.

[Laura Leff] Brad - I think Jack did the same sketch years earlier with Ernie Kovacs, but I've not seen it.

[Laura Leff] Erskine Hawkins

[Maxwell] I saw that episode last summer. Pretty good.

[Laura Leff] BRB

[Maxwell] On the other hand, I saw the Connie Francis episode last night. Not so good.

[yhtapmys] Connie have a breakdown?

[KayLhota] was that the Stephen Foster episode?

[Maxwell] Bad sketch.

[Maxwell] Yeah.

[KayLhota] I saw it when it played on NBC when I was 7 years old. I haven't seen it since then.

[KayLhota] Oh-- yes I did. But not in years since.

[Maxwell] I think that would have still been a CBS episode...'63 wasn't it?

[yhtapmys] You know, the Benny-Garland sketch is the same bit I heard on a Fred Allen-Al Jolson sketch.

[Brad from Georgia] Saw "It's a Mad...etc. World" recently. I'd misremembered Jacks' cameo a bit.

[Laura Leff] Max - Stephen Foster?

[Maxwell] Yeah.

[Laura Leff] Yes...I'm not a fan of that sketch either. But some are.

[Laura Leff] Kay - You're not missing anything

[KayLhota] I remember seeing it on a Friday night. maybe NBC reran it in 1965.

[Laura Leff] Max - Yes, but it looks like a 64-65 episode.

[Maxwell] Could be. I'm guessing the year.

[yhtapmys] I think, Laura, it's because their personalities overcome the material.

[Laura Leff] Yht - Fred Allen wanted to do a love scene with Al Jolson?

[Maxwell] brb...checking tv.com

[Brad from Georgia] "Brokeback Allen"

[Mike Amo]

[Brad from Georgia] Or I guess "Brokeback Alley"

[Laura Leff] Fred Allen and Al Jolson...two people I never really wanted to see make out together.

[Laura Leff] Yeaghhhhhhh

[yhtapmys] If I recall, Allen was to have a life story on film and Allen kept getting one word while Jolson went on and on.

[Brad from Georgia] You'd need eye bleach after that one for sure.

[Laura Leff] I think I'd rather see Senator Claghorn and Mrs. Nussbaum heating it up...

[Maxwell] Nope...not from NBC.

[Laura Leff] Yht - What show was that on?

[yhtapmys] Oh lord, I can't remember.

[Brad from Georgia] "Ah'd like--Ah say, Ah'd like to muss you, Nussy."

[Laura Leff] Brad

[Maxwell] Connie Francis: 2/19/63

[Laura Leff] Maxwell - Yeah...I knew it wasn't 64-65 because I'd looked it up in the past and was surprised that such a lame plot was on earlier.

[Brad from Georgia] "Wherrrrrrrre the boyyyyyyssss are...."

[Laura Leff] But not much earlier

[Maxwell] Actually she sang Follow the Boys...the sequel.

[Laura Leff] There's a show with Abbe Lane from 64-65 which is pretty bad too.

[Laura Leff] But for all that, the Smothers Brothers show is pretty good

[Maxwell] how could any show with Abbe Lane be bad?

[Laura Leff] And that was the last one

[Brad from Georgia] She sant "Where the Boys Are," too. I had the record.

[Maxwell] Right, but not in that episode.

[Brad from Georgia] Well, no, not in the episode. I was just reminiscing.

[Maxwell] Ah...okay.

[Laura Leff] Oh! Can someone E-mail me a capture? I just got thrown off

[Brad from Georgia] How do you do a capture?

[Laura Leff] I don't know if my comment about the script made it through

[Laura Leff] Ctrl-A, Ctrl-C

[Laura Leff] (Select All) (Copy)

[yhtapmys] I only have the part from when I came on.

[Steve *shimp*] LL, I'll send what I have

[Brad from Georgia] It don't seem to work for me....

[Laura Leff] I lost it after talking about the Eddie Cantor story

[Laura Leff] Steve - Thanks much.

[Brad from Georgia] I don't even get a "select"

[Laura Leff] I have a publicity still from the Abbe Lane show of her dancing with Jack

[Laura Leff] But for the show, I only have a script and couldn't enjoy looking at Ms. Lane.

[Laura Leff] Or Jack, for that matter.

[Laura Leff] But forgive the euphemism, but the script sucked the big one.

[Maxwell] You wouldn't enjoy looking at her as much as I would. She was a pre-pubescent crush I had.

[Brad from Georgia] Did any of Jack's female guests ever surpass the divine Giselle?

[Laura Leff] Maxwell - Well, I probably wouldn't enjoy it as much for other obvious reasons as well.

[yhtapmys] Laura... sorry, I was wrong. It wasn't Jolson. It was Georgie Jessel. http://www.otr.net/r/faln/50.ram

[Laura Leff] Brad - Depends on how you measure it. Jayne Mansfield was on the show...

[Laura Leff] Yht - OK, that makes a LOT of sense!

[Brad from Georgia] I had a deep crush on Hayley Mills when I was twelve...I really, really wanted to meet her at a convention last year...but she cancelled...I'm bereft.

[Laura Leff] Brad - What about Carol Burnett?

[Brad from Georgia] Jack and Giselle were so wonderful together, though. They glowed.

[yhtapmys] Got it confused with The Jolson Story.

[Laura Leff] Brad - They adored each other and it showed.

[Laura Leff] The Jessel Story

[Maxwell] Every once in awhile, I go to youtube just to play the clip of Getting to Know You.

[Laura Leff] Oh, and I now know who Quentin is.

[yhtapmys] It was The Allen Story with Jessel getting all the dialogue and Allen getting nothing.

[Laura Leff] But I can't tell you.

[KayLhota] Who was Quentin?

[Steve *shimp*] Oh, do tell!

[yhtapmys] Like Garland had all the dialogue on Mail Call and Jack had the same line.

[Laura Leff] No, I can't. It would be disrespectful.

[KayLhota] okay, but I am glad that you know.

[Steve *shimp*] Gotcha, missed the "can't tell" line. Understood!

[Brad from Georgia] I remember one of the TV specials when Jack died: "Once more, oh, just once more, let's see Mr. Benny's duet with Gisele Mackenzie."

[Laura Leff] But I found some letters in some long-forgotten archives that started to put the pieces together.

[KayLhota] Hopefully, there is enough fiction in the story so that his identity is secret

[yhtapmys] Giselle's brother was a nice guy.

[Laura Leff] Maybe some day there's some information that might come out that would reveal it.

[Steve *shimp*] But Milt's story is more or less accurate?

[Laura Leff] Once I knew, I sort of sided with Milt that I don't feel like tearing up a guy.

[KayLhota] or did he sneak in enough fiction to muddy the water?

[Laura Leff] Steve - I can't speak to the details, but I know who had the major falling out. Only Quentin and Milt were on the phone together.

[yhtapmys] Laura, I'm missing something cause I haven;'t read Milt's book in years. What story?

[Laura Leff] Yht - Quentin, the man who hated Jack.

[Steve *shimp*] Like, the ONLY person who hated Jack. Aside, apparently, from Keefe Braselle

[KayLhota] it sounded like an elderly sort of paranoid episode

[yhtapmys] Did he enter a contest?   

[Laura Leff] Actually, there is some fiction in it which I can tell you.

[KayLhota] do tell

[Brad from Georgia] So dish...

[Laura Leff] Quentin was at the funeral. Or I asked someone who would know, and they said he was.

[KayLhota] okay

[Laura Leff] So I have a feeling that Milt may just not have seen him.

[yhtapmys] Is he bigger than a breadbox?

[Steve *shimp*]  

[Laura Leff] Yht - Not any more.

[KayLhota] or was saying some fiction to hide the identity

[Steve *shimp*]      

[yhtapmys] I pass.

[yhtapmys] Miss Kilgallen?

[Laura Leff] I was pulling out some of my research to help someone, and suddenly it all came together.

[Brad from Georgia] "Mr. Quentin, is your first name Stan, by any chance...."

[Steve *shimp*] Well, the story's the interesting thing anyway. Not that important to know.

[Laura Leff] Dan asked me what was up when I let out a huge gasp.

[yhtapmys] You can go to jail for a joke like that, Brad.

[KayLhota] Laura, is Quentin someone that you may have met during your research?

[Laura Leff] Kay - OK, I'll give that one as well because I've talked to enough people. Part of what made me gasp is that I'd actually asked Quentin if he knew who Quentin was.

[Steve *shimp*] The wolves are circling, LL's the wounded calf here...

[KayLhota] oh my!

[Laura Leff] He frowned at me for a few seconds, and then shook his head and said he had no idea.

[KayLhota] ouch

[Laura Leff] OK, that's all I'm gonna tell.

[Brad from Georgia] Completely OT: in an Evan Hunter police novel, there's a character named Stan Quentin. The cops tell him there's a prison named after him...Alcatraz.

[KayLhota] thanks for that much, Laura

[Maxwell] And of course Groucho Marx once played S. Quentin Quail.

[KayLhota]  

[Laura Leff] It's sort of the same thing as knowing whether or not Jack and Gisele had an affair.

[Laura Leff] Jack said to "never say we did, and never say we didn't." So I honor that.

[KayLhota] oh, creepy! I'd rather not know

[Brad from Georgia] Well, considering Mary's temperament....no, I'm not gonna be nasty here. Too close to Jack's birthday.

[Laura Leff] And their anniversary

[KayLhota] indeed, and Jack loved her so much

[Laura Leff] 80 years

[KayLhota] besides, I was listening to her sing today on the 031437 episode

[Laura Leff] Snow White?

[KayLhota] no, the Fred Allen episode

[Laura Leff] Ah.

[Brad from Georgia] Close, Kay...Grumpy was there.

[KayLhota]  

[Laura Leff] Har har

[Laura Leff] Baggy

[KayLhota] I don't like to be nasty towards Mary Livingstone.

[Steve *shimp*] Didn't she play Nasty the dwarf?

[Laura Leff] Kay - Enough other people will be.

[KayLhota] yeah.

[Brad from Georgia] No, me either. Sometimes it surprises me how she's treated in some of the books, though. Jack obviously was devoted to her.

[Laura Leff] Brad - Say more about that...what surprises you?

[Steve *shimp*] Nah, I'm with Kay. She had talent. I didn't know her, so I don't care what her temperament was like. I didn't have to deal.

[Brad from Georgia] Evidently Mary was hard for people like George Burns to warm up to. No pun intended.

[KayLhota] none taken

[KayLhota] George knew her well, and he loved to tease.

[yhtapmys] I think she was quite good on the radio, too.

[Laura Leff] Well, Lucille Ball could be a handful as well. But she was also a genius comedienne.

[yhtapmys] But I don't get the impression I'd like to know her in person.

[Brad from Georgia] I read somewhere that after an appearance on one of Lucy's shows, Jack observed, "I think she needs a therapist."

[Laura Leff] Yht - mary or Lucille Ball?

[KayLhota] Lucille Ball was a dynamo, but she was fierce in her friendships and loyalty

[yhtapmys] Even though she lived down the hill from here.

[yhtapmys] Laura, Mary. Lucy, I would have loved to meet.

[Maxwell] My take on it is that if I enjoy a performer, I really don't want ot know if they're a great person or a jerk. Just let me enjoy the performance.

[KayLhota] but, Mary and Lucy were neighbors

[Steve *shimp*] True Max, but I get a lot of joy knowing what a fun and beloved person Jack was.

[Maxwell] True.

[Steve *shimp*] I don't care about the negatives, but I enjoy hearing the positives.

[Brad from Georgia] I agree, Maxwell. I meet so many writers, and always with trepidation. I hate to meet a writer whose work I admire and find out he or she is less than admirable in person.

[KayLhota] Lucy held Mary's hand when Mary did the bit on the 20th anniversary special

[yhtapmys] Max, I've been in radio 31 years. There are people I like listening to I would NEVER socialise with.

[Maxwell] You'd almost have to be to be the play the character he did.

[Laura Leff] Not to mention the stories about Uncle Miltie

[Brad from Georgia] Ah, Miltie the "let me show you" man....

[yhtapmys] Kay, I'm talking about when Mary lived here in Vancouver.

[KayLhota] Oh!

[Maxwell] Ah, yes...I hear the dentist in MASH was based on Unclie Miltie.

[yhtapmys] She was on Nelson, which is a 1 1/2 blocks from here.

[Brad from Georgia] "Painless" Peter Potter

[yhtapmys] And down the hill about five blocks, I think.

[yhtapmys] A block from Yvonne DeCarlo!

[Laura Leff] Peter Potter picked a peck of pickled peppers

[KayLhota]  

[Maxwell] Peter Potter's Juke Box Jury.

[Brad from Georgia] Mild Viagra joke: "I need some Viagra." "Can you get it over the counter?" "I dunno. Maybe if I took two...."

[Steve *shimp*] Do any of Mary's family still live in Vancouver? Did she have siblings other than Hilliard?

[Laura Leff] Yht - I didn't even know she was that familiar with Frank Nelson

[Laura Leff] Brad -   

[yhtapmys] Steve, no, they moved to SFO, didn't they?

[Steve *shimp*]   Brad

[yhtapmys] Very good, Laura. I'd forgotten about that one.

[Laura Leff] Steve - Don't think so, although Mary's mother had several siblings

[Laura Leff] Yht - To SFO and then to LA

[KayLhota] she had her sister Babe, right?

[Steve *shimp*] So which May company was the famous one Mary worked at, SFO or LA

[KayLhota] And brother Hilliard?

[Steve *shimp*] Babe, duh!

[yhtapmys] I don't know the history of the family here, so I honestly don't know.

[yhtapmys] It'd be easy enough to find out if I had some names.

[Laura Leff] Kay - She also moved to LA

[KayLhota] yes

[Laura Leff] Steve - LA. It's still there on Wilshire Boulevard near the Beverly Hilton.

[Steve *shimp*] Are those $1.99 shirts still on sale?

[KayLhota] so, if the whole family moved down from Vancouver, their aren't any relatives up there anymore?

[Laura Leff] I interviewed one of Mary's cousins, who lives in Stockton. And she's not Quentin.

[Maxwell] The polka dot ones?

[Steve *shimp*] heheheh

[Laura Leff] Kay - Mary's family moved down, but aunts and uncles may have stayed up there.

[Maxwell] I'll wait for my change.

[KayLhota] oh, okay

[Laura Leff] I like my tomatoes with a little spice

[yhtapmys] Laura, what was Mary's father's name?

[Maxwell] This morning I woke up singing "Just a Gigolo."

[Laura Leff] Yht- "Dad"

[Steve *shimp*] My lamp's been on the radio for years too and I won't go out with it, either...

[yhtapmys] Max, you do Village People song?   

[Brad from Georgia] Oh, I saw a little throwaway joke in the animated "Over the Hedge" that reminded me of Jack. At one point the raccoon looks at a sales flyer from the paper. Every item is advertised as "3 cents off!"

[Maxwell] Nope. Russ Columbo.

[Laura Leff] Yht - Not sure...I'd have to look it up. But I have a photo of them.

[Laura Leff] No, Russ Columbo was not Mary's father.

[Brad from Georgia] Was Russ Columbo Quentin?

[Steve *shimp*] I heard it was one of the Marx brothers.

[Laura Leff] No, Russ Columbo was not Quentin

[Maxwell] My last words to Russ were, don't play with guns.

User TuckerMike has logged out.

[Laura Leff] Mary was Quentin

[Laura Leff] Nah, I'm kidding

[KayLhota]  

[Brad from Georgia] My mom was dyslexic. She wouldn't let me play with gnus.

[Steve *shimp*]  

User TuckerMike has entered this room.

[KayLhota] hi back TuckerMike

[Laura Leff] Russ Columbo shot himself? I know he died young...

[TuckerMike] what the???

[KayLhota] yes, Laura

[Brad from Georgia] Was Peter Falk Columbo?

[Maxwell] Yeah...with an antique duelling pistol...thought it wasn't loaded. Or maybe it was the guy he was with who shot him. I forget.

[yhtapmys] They must have come here after the War. I can't find them in the 1901 census.

[Laura Leff] Peter Falk as Russ Columbo ...

[yhtapmys] Pardon me, 1911 census.

[TuckerMike] oh I see if I go idea, it'll time out on me

[Brad from Georgia] Was Quentin Peter Falk as Columbo?

[TuckerMike] I was just sitting here reading the screen

[Laura Leff] Yht - Actually, IIRC, Mary's father was moving across Canada and then they settled in Vancouver.

[Brad from Georgia] Okay, I'll quit now. Sorry.

[Maxwell] Who is Quentin Peter Falk?

[KayLhota]  

[Steve *shimp*] Mary's Parents: David and Esther Marks (Had to look it up)

[yhtapmys] Hmm.

[Laura Leff] Steve- Yup, that's right

[Steve *shimp*] I'm sure there aren't any David Marks in Vancouver now...

[Laura Leff] I bet there are Skid Marks in Vancouver

[Brad from Georgia] In certain districts, there are undoubtedly high Marks.

[Maxwell] I'm not going there.

[Brad from Georgia] Good for you, Maxwell. Drugs are bad for you, hear?'

[yhtapmys] Damn. That's not it.

[Laura Leff] Ah, I love it when the room all gets goofy together

[Laura Leff] Was Goofy Quentin?

[Maxwell] With this crowd it's not too difficult.

[Brad from Georgia] Ah-hyuck. I hated Jack Benny. I woulda writ a book about it, but Keefe Brasselle beat me. With a stick! Ow!

[Maxwell] Or was Pinto Colveg Quentin?

[Laura Leff] Saturdays with Sinatra with your host, Skid Marks

[Maxwell] Sigh...we don't get that in Chicago anymore.

[Maxwell] The station changed formats.

[Laura Leff] Maxwell - Became Air America, eh?

User Mike Amo has logged out.

[Maxwell] Nope...another station moved up the dial and is renting space on that frequency.

[Laura Leff] I don't know quite why all the "music of your life" stations suddenly became Air America

User Mike Amo has entered this room.

[Laura Leff] Mike - Did you log out because I mentioned Air America?

[Mike Amo] Jello Folks!

[Mike Amo]  

[KayLhota] Hi back Mike

[Maxwell] Jello again Mike.

[Brad from Georgia] Strawberry, cherry, raspberry, orange, lemon and lime!

[Mike Amo] No, I timed out because of inactivty

[Steve *shimp*] Not here, we have the moldiest of oldies stations that I love. Every ad is for funeral planning. Hilarious.

[Mike Amo] I heard the harp

[Maxwell] that'll teach you to lurk.

[Steve *shimp*] But, no Air America!

[Mike Amo] @o@

[Laura Leff] Steve - Ah, welcome to the Lawrence Welk show!

[Maxwell] Speaking of which...

[Brad from Georgia] We take you to the fabulous Undersea Lounge, with the music of Lawrence Whelk.

[Steve *shimp*] You know, I can actually appreciate Lawrence Welk without irony.

[yhtapmys] Nope, can't find them in the 1911 census.

[Laura Leff] Lawrence Welk reruns are sponsored by laxatives, hearing aids, retirement homes, and funeral homes.

[Mike Amo] Lost in recovering from almost 2-week trip out west...

[Laura Leff] Brad -   

[Maxwell] Since they played the Lawrence Welk episode, WWME has been playing the Welk version of Love in Bloom during the Benny breaks.

[yhtapmys] I found some Marks who live near the Finkelsteins, Haffners and Schwartzes, though.

[Mike Amo] Saw Welk Village years back in Escondido, still very popular

[Steve *shimp*] Were the seventies REALLY that color? Those programs are fascinating.

[Laura Leff] Brad - You whelp! Whelp, whelp, whelp...

[Maxwell] LL: No different from when he was on live.

[TuckerMike] oh cool, yusa is playing a benny "Butterfly" episode

[Mike Amo] Welk was on a Benny show?

[Maxwell] Yup.

[Maxwell] They did the Jack conducting bit.

[Brad from Georgia] LL--I'd horsewhip you if I had a horse...

[Laura Leff] Mike - TV, yes.

[Mike Amo] cool!

[Maxwell] Jack came out to Welk playing Love in Bloom.

[Steve *shimp*] *whip*

[Laura Leff] They did a bit that was so old, Jack did it in vaudeville. Literally. And did it on the Canada Dry show with George Olsen. Really.

[Mike Amo] Welk rocks like Como

[KayLhota] oh boy

[Laura Leff] Maxwell - So Jack WAS gay!?!?!

[Brad from Georgia] "Dank you, dank you, dank you. We got some wunnaful music tonight, so let's get down and get funky."

[Steve *shimp*] The Welk "family" is decidedly cultish. I love that they all smile and live in a compound.

[yhtapmys] Gisele didn't think so.

[KayLhota]  

[Maxwell] I have to tell my Welk story....

[Maxwell] I was on vacation from college....

[Laura Leff] Yht - What did Gisele think about Lawrence Welk

[Maxwell] And my parents were out so I was flipping the dial, and there's Welk's show....

[Laura Leff] Lawrence Welk was Quentin

[Laura Leff] No, not really

[Maxwell] And there are Norma Zimmer and Jimmy Roberts on a railroad station set singing "One Toke Over the Line."

[TuckerMike] I played a benny episode where in the sketch, people commented that they felt that it inplied that Jack was gay

[Brad from Georgia] Sweet geezus!

[Laura Leff] OK, now THAT is weird.

[Maxwell] When it's over, Welk says, "Thang you Chimmy an' Norma for that modern-a day spiritual-um."

[Brad from Georgia] <Peter Lorre voice>We're all pretty weird here. A-HEH!</peter lorre voice>

[Maxwell] I almost did a Danny Thomas coffee spit, and would have if I had anything in my mouth.

[Laura Leff] And now Bobby and Sissy will give us a rousing rendition of "Light My Fire"

[Steve *shimp*] There was ONE episode where Welk literally attempted to be funny and let his hair down, literally. He wore a hippie wig and bellbottoms and came out to dead silence from the studio audience.

[Brad from Georgia] Lord, I remember Pat Boone covering R&B songs....

[Steve *shimp*] They were mortified. A few may have died. The incident was scrubbed from history as far as I can tell.

[Maxwell] Pat Boone: Tutti Frutti.

[Mike Amo]  

[Brad from Georgia] Aw rooti.

[Laura Leff] Steve - I think those dead people were left in the audience based on some of the pan shots.

[Maxwell] Boone also did that heavy metal album a few years ago.

[Steve *shimp*] I THOUGHT I saw Norma Bates!

[Laura Leff] What ever happened to Debby Boone, the one-hit wonder?

[Brad from Georgia] Something about Boone just mildy crooning, "a wop bob a lula, a wop bam boom."

[Maxwell] Debbie is married to Miguel Ferrer.

[Mike Amo] She's fine, LL< saw her a year ago here

[Laura Leff] I'm trying to remember the name of the other accordion player

[Steve *shimp*] Who'd have thought Miguel Ferrer could light up someone's life?

[Maxwell] Making her Rosemary Clooney's daughter-in-law.

[Brad from Georgia] Remember Steve Allen's soulful recitations of rock poetry? "Well, blessah my soul, whatsa happen to me? I am itching like a man on a fuzzy tree...."

[Maxwell] Myron Floren.

[Laura Leff] Maxwell - Yeah, I was just thinking that?

[Steve *shimp*] Frankie Yankovic or Myron Floren?

[Mike Amo] She was promoting her Rosemary Clooney remake CD

[Laura Leff] Yeah...."And now Myron Floren provides a lilting rendition of 'Let's Get Physical'"

[yhtapmys] 'You Light Up-A My House

[Laura Leff] I was blessed to see Rosie Clooney live in concert here

[Mike Amo] 2 minute warning to some game in next room

[Maxwell] She was a helluva singer.

[Maxwell] Bears still losing?

[yhtapmys] Rosie? Yeah.

[Laura Leff] I'm trying to remember her opening act...duh...who did "Walking My Baby Back Home"

[Brad from Georgia] I always picture Elmer Fudd singing "Physical": "Wet me hear your body tawk....heh, heh, heh, heh...."

[Mike Amo] so far, yes

[Maxwell] Johnny Ray.

[Steve *shimp*]   Brad

[Maxwell] But he's dead.

[Laura Leff] No...well-known male singer, still alive

[yhtapmys] Quentin?

[Maxwell] Johnny Ray was a well-known male singer.

[Mike Amo] I remember the Johnny Ray TV episode...he really dropped off the planet after the early 60s

[Laura Leff] Gosh, he was great as her opening act...I've been chanting in Sanskrit too much and can't remember anything.

[Steve *shimp*] The most shocking opening act I ever saw was Florence Henderson opening for George Burns!

[Steve *shimp*] She told dirty jokes, seriously.

[Laura Leff] What, in Vegas?

[Brad from Georgia] Werid day in the car...I had a CD with several comedy shows on it: Jack, a Bing Crosby, a Martin & Lewis...and ALL of them had a rendition to or reference to "The Little White Cloud that Cried."

[KayLhota] did she get any laughs?

[Steve *shimp*] No, in Michigan. At the briefly-lived Burns Theater inLivionia

[Maxwell] Monty Burns had a theater?

[Laura Leff] Dirty jokes in Livonia, Michigan? Yikes.

[Steve *shimp*] Yeah, but when she sang, Kay! j/k

[yhtapmys] They loved me in Livionia.

[KayLhota]  

[KayLhota] I've been there.

[Laura Leff] Move over Sarah Silverman, here comes Florence Henderson!

[Brad from Georgia] We have a Lavonia in Georgia. 'Course we pronounce it "bob."

[Steve *shimp*] No, George Burns. It was cool but didn't last. There were special cigar-shaped lamps and stuff. Neat but went out of business.

[KayLhota] not to the theater, but to Livonia

[Maxwell] I spent a week in Livonia one day.

[Laura Leff] "So I walked in on Robert Reed and Greg in an intimate moment..."

[KayLhota]  

[yhtapmys] Did they just buy naming rights from George?

[yhtapmys] Or did he own part of it?

[Steve *shimp*] I don't know, but he was involved. It was like a tribute thing, best I could tell.

[Steve *shimp*] Very nice venue, bad location.

[yhtapmys]  

[Steve *shimp*] I guess that would have been '92. It closed the same year I think.

[Brad from Georgia] So, Quentin....was John Denver, right?

[KayLhota]  

[yhtapmys] Well, George opened and closed quicker than that before.

[KayLhota] ouch

[Steve *shimp*] But, this time he didn't have the trained seal.

[Maxwell] John Denver was Quentin?

[yhtapmys] Was Goldie, Fields and Glide there?

[Laura Leff] Dang...I'm still struggling with this vocalists name.

[Laura Leff] Who was the guy who almost was engaged to Joan?

[yhtapmys] Bobby Darin?

[Laura Leff] Yht - No...

[Brad from Georgia] Bobby Rydell?

[Maxwell] James Darren?

[Laura Leff] No

[KayLhota] Vic Damone

[yhtapmys] Yeah

[Steve *shimp*] Quentin?

[Laura Leff] Yes, Vic Damone.

[Laura Leff] THANK you.

[Maxwell] Victor Moan!

[KayLhota] I have no idea why his name was stuck in my grey matter

[Laura Leff] He opened for Rosie Clooney and was really smashing.

[Maxwell] (I used to think that was his name when I was a kid.)

[Laura Leff] Well, there were so many vocalists of that ilk from that time

[Maxwell] Smashing Pumpkins?

[Laura Leff] 50 cent

[Brad from Georgia] Vic Damone was a good singer. He just needed to bust more rhymes.

[Laura Leff] He could bust a move

[yhtapmys] He's no Jack Jones, though.

[Maxwell] I once moved a bust. I think it was Beethoven.

[TuckerMike] he's gangstah

[Laura Leff] Homer's bust gathers dust

[Maxwell] Alan Jones (or was it Allen?) was no Jack Jones.

[Laura Leff] I tried to get Vic Damone for the 39 Forever convention, but he was retired.

[yhtapmys] I'm in lust wid ya fust n a pizza crust

[Brad from Georgia] My wife and I are going to see one of our favorite singers from back when we were in college...Kris Kristofferson. We saw him perform live, gosh, thirty years ago.

[yhtapmys] Rapping's easy!

[Laura Leff] Alan Hale was no Jack Jones

[Brad from Georgia] But Jack Jones never hit Bob Denver with his hat.

[Laura Leff] Brad - Ah, a star is born.

[Laura Leff] Brad -   

[Maxwell] LL...I grant you Jr., but Sr. is another matter.

[TuckerMike] i just saw a movie w. alen hale in it

[TuckerMike] "Home Town Story"

[Laura Leff] Hale hale the gang's all here

[Laura Leff] Alan Hale was in quite a number of movies.

[Brad from Georgia] "The Adventures of Robin Hood"?

[Maxwell] Sr.

[Brad from Georgia] "The Adventures of Robin Quentin?"

[KayLhota]  

[Maxwell] Hang 'em High: Jr.

[Laura Leff] And I'll bet a buck that the vast majority of people, upon seeing him, say, "Look! It's the Skipper!"

[TuckerMike] jr. I do belive

[Brad from Georgia] "Robbin' Quentin to Pay Paul"?

[Maxwell] Not any more. He's dead.

[Laura Leff] Paul is dead

[Brad from Georgia] I am the walrus.

[KayLhota] I was just thinking that

[Laura Leff] Goo goo g'joob

[TuckerMike] I burried Paul

[Laura Leff] Gosh...we were all throwing out sound bites from Revolution 9 last time...

[Maxwell] Turn me on dead man.

[KayLhota] shows which generation we belong to

[Brad from Georgia] Anybody else here go to see the Beatles in their 1964 tour? My wife and I did...in separate cities 'cause we hadn't met then.

[Laura Leff] 28 if

[Laura Leff] Brad - How was it?

[Maxwell] Nope. I didn't want to see them ruin Comiskey Park.

[TuckerMike] 39 maybe

[KayLhota] I did not see the Beatles although I was alive back then and wanted to, desperately

[Brad from Georgia] Well...we didn't actually HEAR them, but we saw them. Girls screamed too loud for the sound system.

[Laura Leff] They didn't play live concerts too much after that...I think it was September of 65 was their last live concert at Candlestick Park right here.

[KayLhota] 1966

[yhtapmys] Brad, pretty standard

[Brad from Georgia] I saw them in Atlanta; Barbara (my wife to be) saw them in Cleveland.

[yhtapmys] Same thing happened here.

[Laura Leff] So if the Beatles guested on Jack's show, what would they have done for a skit?

[Maxwell] After freezing at the Stick, I can see where they'd quit live shows.

[yhtapmys] They let the stage.

[Laura Leff] Kay - Ah...right.

[TuckerMike] kay's right '66

[yhtapmys] left the stafe

[TuckerMike] <--- a beatle head

[yhtapmys] left the stage

[Brad from Georgia] "Fellas, fellas...you have a GOOD sound, but it would be SO much better with strings."

[Maxwell] So which did they do, let the stage or left the stafe?

[KayLhota] if they had done a skit it would have been very off the wall

[Steve *shimp*] LL, Goldie Fields and Glide. That'd be good.

[Laura Leff] Jack in a Beatle wig

[yhtapmys] Kay, I just can't picture it.

[Steve *shimp*] The beatles in Jack wigs would be funnier.

[Laura Leff] Jack inspires them to do Eleanor Rigby

[Laura Leff] Talk about a toupee

[Mike Amo] "When I'm 39"

[Laura Leff] Mike - Har har

[KayLhota] I saw that clip of them singing Moonlight Bay on a british show in 1964

[Brad from Georgia] Paul: "When did you think of joining our group, then, Mr. B?" Jack: "Yesterday." Paul: "Yesterday?" John: "All our troubles seemed so far away." Jack: "NOW CUT THAT OUT!"

[Laura Leff] Kay - Oh, I'd love to see that.

[KayLhota] it's in the Beatles Anthology. Funny in a bent sort of way.

[Laura Leff] Probably most of you know that before I got into Jack, I was determined to be the world's expert on the Beatles.

[yhtapmys] Laura, that's something about the TV I find really odd.

[Laura Leff] Kay - Is it on DVD

[KayLhota] yes

[Laura Leff] Yht - What?

[Laura Leff] Kay - OK, I'll have to look for it.

[KayLhota] the clip I mentioned is in the Anthology

[yhtapmys] It just seems strange to see Jack on stage with Peter, Paul & Mary or the Smothers Bros.

[Steve *shimp*] I think I said this before on the forum somewhere but I'd love to have seen some skit with Jack and Yoko Ono. Jack reacting to Yoko's performance art....

[yhtapmys] I can't picture him being on with the Beatles.

[Laura Leff] Yht - Why?

[KayLhota] \When you say I beg your pardon, then I'll come back to you

[Brad from Georgia] My wife USED to have a little acetate Beatles-fanclub record of them giving Christmas greetings to their fans. One of her no-good boyfriends in her pre-Brad days stole it. When I think of e-Bay today....grrrr.

[TuckerMike] oh yeah, it's on the cd also I think

[Laura Leff] Just because of the perceived era difference?

[yhtapmys] Because it just seems out of character. These aren't people he'd associate with.

[yhtapmys] Yeah.

[Maxwell] But he was on TV. He had to appeal to a broad audience.

[Brad from Georgia] I can picture Jack with the Beatles better than some people of the same era, like, oh, Ed Sullivan.

[Laura Leff] Then again, you can see him onstage with the Beach Boys (and Bob Hope)

[Maxwell] Or at least that's the thinking.

[Laura Leff] Maxwell - And men too

[KayLhota] Laura, I'll never forget when I was showing a friend my Beatle albums, and he shouted "This is an Original Pressing!"

[Maxwell] Yeah, broads and men.

[yhtapmys] Well, I can't say I'm a fan of the later TV specials, either.

[Laura Leff] Kay - Wasn't the Butcher album, was it?

[KayLhota] Of course it was an original. It was given to me when it was new.

[KayLhota] Sgt. Pepper. Mono mix.

[Laura Leff] Cool!

[Laura Leff] I have a couple picture records of Sgt. Pepper.

[Brad from Georgia] "We're Sergeant Pepper's Lonely Monomix..."

[Laura Leff] We hope you have enjoyed the show

[TuckerMike] I recall an Alice Cooper interview recently talking about hanging out with groucho, and Benny george Burnes etc. hanging out backstage at his shows

[yhtapmys] Sullivan was different because he had a variety show designed to have an eclectic mix of appearances.

[Laura Leff] Sgt. Pepper was Quentin

[Maxwell] You'll have to be quarantined for that monomix, sir.

[KayLhota]   Laura

[Brad from Georgia] Ed Sullivan was a rilly, rilly big Quentin.

[Laura Leff] Alice Cooper was hanging out with Jack Benny?

[KayLhota] I wish I didn't want to know who Quentin was. It's none of my business.

[yhtapmys] What fish did Groucho order?

[KayLhota] Bass!

[Laura Leff] Swordfish

[Brad from Georgia] Sea bass!

[Mike Amo]  

[Laura Leff] Mary

[Steve *shimp*] If you can't sea bass every night

[Maxwell] Atsa right...swordfish.

[yhtapmys] And Alice Cooper bit the head off it.

[TuckerMike] yeah, because they say what Cooper was doing was alot like vaudville

[Maxwell] Getta you tootsie frootise ice-a cream....

[TuckerMike] so the got what he was doing

[Laura Leff] I didn't know they had any songs like "I Love Death" in vaudeville.

[yhtapmys] How about George doing 'Only Women Bleed'?

[Maxwell] Vaudeville: The Untoled Story.

[Maxwell] Or Untold

[Brad from Georgia] I think they had songs like "I Died in Altoona" though.

[Laura Leff] "I Love My Husband, but Oh You Henry", yes. But nothing quite that dark...

[TuckerMike] his shows where very vaudvilly inspired

[Steve *shimp*] You oughta hear Alice's "I'll be waiting for you bill when you come back from San Juan Hill"

[Laura Leff] Down in the garden where the red roses grow

[Laura Leff] Oh my I long to go

[Laura Leff] And be buried

[Maxwell] I heard he used to do Cohen on the Telephone.

[KayLhota]  

[Steve *shimp*]  

[Brad from Georgia] "Right here we have that very, very wonderful little Italian mouse, let's have a big, big, rilly big hand for Topo Gigio!"

[Laura Leff] Alice Cooper did Cohen on the Telephone?

[Brad from Georgia] Alcie Cooper was Topo Gigio.

[KayLhota] but could you dance to it?

[Steve *shimp*] Topo Gigio did "Feed my Frankenstein"

[yhtapmys] ")

[Steve *shimp*] Topo Gigio was Quentin

[Brad from Georgia] Topo Gigio was Quentin.

[Steve *shimp*]  

[Laura Leff] David Bowie was Quentin

[Laura Leff] Or Quentine, depending on the day

[KayLhota] ouch

[Steve *shimp*] Senor Wences' hand did a great impression of Jack Benny.

[Laura Leff] S'alright

[Maxwell] So did the guy's head in the box.

[Brad from Georgia] "You Quentin broke my heart in two...."

[Laura Leff] You walked out of my dream, Quentin to my car, now you're my angel divine

[yhtapmys] Now cut that out.

[Laura Leff] Time for more failed Jell-O flavors

[Steve *shimp*] Anyone ever try Quentin Crisp cereal?

[Brad from Georgia] Ah, Jack would have LOVED this. Except for the Quentin parts. Come to think of it, he wouldn't have cared for this at all.

[Laura Leff] Brain-flavored Jell-O

[Steve *shimp*] knockwurst Jello

[Brad from Georgia] Bacon-flavored Jell-O with scrambled egg bits

[Laura Leff] Super Quentin Crisp with a bipolar bear

[yhtapmys] Steve, that's the cereal that comes from the planet Lavender?

[Maxwell] It's Mr. Kimble the county agent!

[Steve *shimp*] livermush Jell-O

[Laura Leff] Quentin-flavored Jell-O

[Laura Leff] turduckin Jell-O

[Brad from Georgia] Jalapeno Jell-O.

[Maxwell] Mmmmm...turducken!

[Laura Leff] Brad - No, I could see people liking that

[Brad from Georgia] Gefiltefish Jell-O!

[yhtapmys] That'd be Jell-Oy!

[Laura Leff] Brad - That's the stuff that comes in the jar AROUND the fish

[Maxwell] Horseradish Jell-o

[Steve *shimp*] Chitlin Jell-O

[Brad from Georgia] Lutefisk Jell-O! The aroma announces it weeks in advance!

[Laura Leff] Horseradish Jell-O goes well with Gefilte Fish Jell-O

[Maxwell] Limburger Jell-O.

[Maxwell] LL: That it does.

[yhtapmys] Well, guys, I've got some research to do, so I'm heading out.

[Laura Leff] Shoe leather Jell-O

[Steve *shimp*] see ya yht!

[Laura Leff] Take care, Yht!

[Maxwell] So long yht

[yhtapmys] I'm glad I could find an answer to your question, Laura.

[Brad from Georgia] Pork chop Jell-O! Turnip green Jell-O! Grits Jell-O! And that's what I like about the South.

User yhtapmys has logged out.

[Laura Leff] Yht - Me too. I should get that book.

[Steve *shimp*] millipede Jell-O

[Laura Leff] Cockroach Jell-O

[Brad from Georgia] Now, Millipede Jell-O has been around for YEARS. It's got legs.

[Laura Leff] Brad - Just like Betty Grable

[Laura Leff] Except a LOT more of them

[Brad from Georgia] Betty Grable Jell-O! The molds alone are worth the price!

[Steve *shimp*] Mold Jell-O (not a Jell-O mold)

[Laura Leff] Jayne Mansfield Jell-O! Imagine the look on your husband's face when you serve it!

[Brad from Georgia] If you could SEE his face over the Jell-O.

[Maxwell] My mom used to have jello molds shaped like that.

[Steve *shimp*] can you fit those in the fridge?

[Laura Leff] Mae West Jell-O. Same concept

[Brad from Georgia] Ah, yes, dessert has me all aquiver...

[Laura Leff] Steve - You have to position your shelf properly.    

[Maxwell] Mae West Jello come with it's own shelf.

[Brad from Georgia] Quentin Jell-O....no one has ever seen it.

[Laura Leff] Maxwell - Better joke, same concept.

[Maxwell] Except Laura.

[Brad from Georgia] Maxwell--not shelf. Rack.

[Laura Leff] Brad - Except me and Milt Josefsberg

[Steve *shimp*] And Quentin, who is clearly Edward R. Murrow.

[Brad from Georgia] Caviare Jell-O.

[Maxwell] Brad...you got it!

[Brad from Georgia] And I'll hang it on my wall!

[Laura Leff] So what else Benny-wise is on everyone's mind tonight?

[Brad from Georgia] I'm delighted by all the Benny bits showing up in the forum lately.

[Maxwell] Anybody get a chance to hear this week's Those Were the Days?

[KayLhota] no

[Brad from Georgia] Not I.

[Steve *shimp*] sadly no.

[Maxwell] Catch it starting Tuesday at www.nostalgiadigest.com .

[Brad from Georgia] Got it marked.

[Laura Leff] Maxwell - What was on it?

[Mike Amo] Bookmarking now

[Steve *shimp*] I was interested Max, because it seems like a lot of interviews and such, correct?

[Laura Leff] Jack, I'm sure

[Maxwell] They started with part of a testimonial for Jack's tenth anniversary.

[Maxwell] Yeah.

[Laura Leff] Oh right

[Maxwell] With Rudy Vallee as emcee. This week they had Fibber and Molly and Edgar Bergen and Charlie McCarthy.

[Maxwell] More in the next three weeks.

[Steve *shimp*] definitely making myself a note.

[Maxwell] The sound quality was excellent...could have been recorded last week.

[Maxwell] Then they're doing a series of shows Schaden did in the early '90s with the interviews and clips.

[Maxwell] And this week they had his Family Theater appearance with Verna Felton...and they also had his Plan X episode of Suspense.

[Laura Leff] Ah Plan X

[Steve *shimp*] The Sequel to Plan 9

[KayLhota]  

[Laura Leff] Everyone wants to do recreations of Jack on Suspense and I keep telling them not to

[Maxwell] I work on stair treads.

[KayLhota] Laura, did you ever hear "Murder in G Flat"?

[TuckerMike] why is that Laura?

[Laura Leff] Kay - I think I might have years ago, but I don't remember it.

[Brad from Georgia] Yeah, the Atlanta Radio Theatre Company was talking about trying to do "Plan X", and I told them I thought it wasn't a great idea.

[Laura Leff] Mike - Because when it's Jack on it, he doesn't have to "be" Jack for you to know it.

[Laura Leff] If it's someone playing Jack and he's not "being" Jack, then it could be pretty much anyone in the role.

[Laura Leff] There's almost none of the classic Benny character in the role. It's just Jack playing the role.

[Brad from Georgia] And the script just isn't that good. The end is a letdown.

[Steve *shimp*] It's just too confusing a conceit to do as a recreation!

[Maxwell] This week's episode has more of the testimonial and interviews...and June Moon.

[TuckerMike] I see what you're saying

[KayLhota] OH! I do have a story to share!

[Laura Leff] It's like Jack playing in "The Man Who Came to Dinner".

[Brad from Georgia] ...which I happen to like.

[Maxwell] As do I.

[Laura Leff] Kay - Go for it

[Brad from Georgia] You and me against the world, Maxwell!

[TuckerMike] I was asked to do that once

[KayLhota] I read it the radio digest that a guy wanted either the script of the Screen Guild "Destry Rides Again" or the recording of the broadcast so that they could transcribe it

[KayLhota] I offered him the MP3, and also offered to type up the transcription

[Laura Leff] Boy, that's a task. I hate transcribing.

[KayLhota] it is going to be performed in Brockton MA in May

[Laura Leff] Excellent!

[Maxwell] LL, try transcribing something by Ozzie Guillen sometime.

[KayLhota] I am so thrilled to be a part of it

[Brad from Georgia] Great!

[Laura Leff] Maxwell - I dont know that name

[Maxwell] Cool!

[KayLhota] in the sense of having contributed the work

[Laura Leff] Kay - Are you performing?

[Maxwell] Manager of the White Sox...very Venezuelan.

[KayLhota] no, but I contributed my time and typing

[KayLhota] so I am glad of that

[Laura Leff] Maxwell - Ah. Well, transcribing the Larry Adler interview was a challenge.

[Laura Leff] I didn't have the machine close enough to him, and I had to do it with headphones and the volume turned way up.

[Brad from Georgia] Could've been worse, Laura. Could've been Charlie Callas.

[Maxwell] With Ozzie, you have to figure out what the words actually are.

[KayLhota]  

[Laura Leff] And lots of "Huh?"-rewind-listen-"What?"-rewind-listen-"Crap"-rewind-listen

[KayLhota]  

[Maxwell] And then try to figure out how he's stringing them together.

[Laura Leff] Brad - You're in rare form tonight.    

[KayLhota] I know that esperience

[Brad from Georgia] Well, I'm feelin' good. Been travelin' the country, signing my books. Visiting the home town of Oliver Hardy. Yes, sir, life's pretty good.

[Maxwell] Oliver Norville Hardy.

[Laura Leff] Like a coworker who recently asked me if I'd ever done a 'robe score'...I said no...turned out to be a "ropes course"

[Brad from Georgia] Babe to his friends.

[Maxwell] And this is my very good friend Mr. Laurel.

[Brad from Georgia] Norvell, Maxwell.

[KayLhota] My husband got laid off of his job in December, so we are tying to manage while he's hunting for work

[Maxwell] Yeah...Deborah Norville.

[Laura Leff] oliver hard was quentin

[Maxwell] Oliver Norvell Hardy.

[Brad from Georgia] In high school, I resembled Stan Laurel. In my dotage, I look like Oliver Hardy with a beard.

[Laura Leff] Kay - Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.

[Maxwell] Brad...ditto without the beard.

[Laura Leff] I'm happy to say I look nothing like Oliver Hardy

[KayLhota] this is why I haven't renewed to the Jack Benny Times. I'll make up for it when he gets his paycheck

[Laura Leff] Kay - That's fine. I'll have inventory for a long time. No rush.

[Brad from Georgia] The lady at the Laurel and Hardy Museum in Harlem actually looked at me and said, "You know,a t the annual festival, we have a lookalike contest." I turned to my wife and said, "Here's another fine mess..."

[KayLhota] that's good news, Laura.

[Laura Leff] Well, we're at the 2 1/2 hour mark...do folks want to keep going or call it good?

[KayLhota] Brad, are you in the SONS of the Desert?

(some loss)

[KayLhota] Did I ever see Don wilson and Dennis Day as Laurel and Hardy?

[Laura Leff] You and Mary Kelly

[Brad from Georgia] Oh, I saw the You-Tube footage of Don Wilson and Dennis Day as Hardy and Laurel! Right!

[KayLhota] Or am I dreaming it?

[KayLhota] Oh!

[Maxwell] It's on youtube, Kay.

[Laura Leff] Kay - You might have

[KayLhota] I ought to look at it

[Maxwell] I'm slow.

[Brad from Georgia] They did a good job--the old flivver, Dennis fixing a flat. Don was pretty good, and Dennis nailed it.

[Laura Leff] I think they did a pretty good Our Gang as well

[Maxwell] Dennis was actually a little too stocky to be Stan.

[KayLhota] Dennis was a masterful mimic

[Brad from Georgia] Well, in the later movies Stan had put on weight.

[Laura Leff] Jack as Alfalfa...pretty good physical comedy for his age

[Maxwell] That was just on here a couple of months ago.

[Brad from Georgia] LL-"I can't understand why I'm so slow...I'm only NINE years old!"

[Laura Leff] Brad - Good one!

[Brad from Georgia] I think that was an actual line, or close to it!

[Laura Leff] So winded, actually

[Laura Leff] He skips rope better than probably many people a fraction of his age!

[KayLhota] when did you learn Quentin's true identity, Laura?

[KayLhota] Was it very recently?

[Brad from Georgia] See, it's been years since I've seen that, and I still remember. I'm just like one of those big what-you-call its, a rhino. Elephant.

[Steve *shimp*] She read it in Dreer Pooson's column.

[Laura Leff] I saw a special recently where Jack actually slides down a pole...

[Laura Leff] Kay - It was a while ago, but I don't want to get too specific.

[KayLhota] thanks, Laura

[KayLhota] I would love to see the 20th anniversary special.

[Laura Leff] Apparently Dean Martin used to slide down a pole in the opening of his show

[KayLhota] I didn't see it when it aired.

[Brad from Georgia] Yes, but when he got to the floor, Dean didn't stop.

[Maxwell] You can tell us. It's not like this is going to be posted on the web site or anything.:}

[Mike Amo] I remember that

[KayLhota] they had it scheduled late and on a school night.

[Laura Leff] Jack borrowed Dean's set for the opening of Carnival Nights

[Brad from Georgia] My wife gave me some "Lucy" DVDs for Christmas...just because it had a skit from Carnival Nights.

[Laura Leff] I was astonished that Jack would do that bit when he was over 70. I wouldn't want to do it today

[KayLhota]  

[Laura Leff] Brad - You ought to see the musical number she does of "It's Good to Have a Man Around the House"

[KayLhota] I always loved the Here's Lucy episode where she played all of the women in Jack's life

[Brad from Georgia] I want to see that very late Lucy show, from her last series, with Eddie Carroll in a supporting role.

[Laura Leff] A bunch of scantily-clad muscle men around her

[Laura Leff] Brad - yeah, I'll vote for hat

[Laura Leff] that

(some loss)

[KayLhota] yes, I remember that

[Steve *shimp*] "Stone Pillow"

[Maxwell] I remember that, Brad. She was VERY good in it.

[Laura Leff] Brad - That's why one member of the Benny family ended up leaving the table once and coming over to talk with me...they felt too strange having their relative seemingly "dropping in" with some regularity.

[Brad from Georgia] "The Stone Pillow"?

[Laura Leff] Just "Stone Pillow"

[Steve *shimp*] Lucy should've been, say, one of the "Golden Girls" in the '80s. Something besides the same scripts she was using in 1962.

[Brad from Georgia] Ah, an irrelvant never forgets.

[Maxwell] That was the problem with even the Lucy Show and Here's Lucy. The act got old.

[Laura Leff] And sort of like Jack without his supporting players, sometimes the magic just isn't there.

[TuckerMike] even the 60's Lucy scripts were out of date

[Brad from Georgia] I watched one of the "Here's Lucy," with Jack and Jackie Gleason as guests. It was pretty dreary, though Jack was in there pitching.

[KayLhota] I live on the bottom floor of a two family house. The guys upstairs are pouring in. I guess the Super Bowl must be over by now.

[Laura Leff] You want Lucy, Ricky, Fred and Ethel just like you want Jack, Mary, Phil, Dennis, Don and Rochester

[Brad from Georgia] What if Lucy had married Eddie Anderson? "I wanna be in the show!" "My, oh my!"

[TuckerMike] yeah it's like watching an '80's bob hope special

[Maxwell] Yup...it's amazing how much better the '60s Benny shows seem to be even if you have just Roch or Dennis appearing.

[Laura Leff] Oh and Keefe Braselle refers to Desi Arnaz as a "professional Greek"

[Maxwell] Oh, Bob Hope was far worse....

[KayLhota] yeesh

[Maxwell] Him exchanging "barbs" with a guest as they look past each other at the cue cards.

[Laura Leff] And now folks, here's Loni Anderson!

[Steve *shimp*] Y'know, those '80s specials were my first intro to Bob Hope and I thought they were great.

[Laura Leff] Steve - I actually felt the same way.

[Steve *shimp*] At least, the monologues.

[Steve *shimp*] The skits not so much.

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[TuckerMike] NBC made a horrible deal, they had no control over the Hope specials

[Brad from Georgia] I briefly met Bob Hope once when he did a show at my college. He actually did it without cue cards...but the jokes were mossy.

[Steve *shimp*] Ah, for a good Tip O'Neill joke.

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[Laura Leff] Heck, it was better than, say, Full House.

[Maxwell] Wrong button.

[KayLhota] oops

[Brad from Georgia] Hey, hey! I wrote a Full House book once...

[Brad from Georgia] I hated to do it, but I couldn't find honest work.

[Maxwell] Careful, people might be looking for a rope now.

[KayLhota]  

[KayLhota] no, but I hope you are eating better for having written it

[Laura Leff] Brad - You're in big trouble, mister.

[Mike Amo] I got to see Bob do one of his specials; also a show at our university...he was always on

[Brad from Georgia] True story: the publisher asked me for an outline, I gave them one, they loved it, and then hired ANOHTER writer to write my book! They gave me someone ELSE'S outline, and it reeked!

[Laura Leff] He did a show from Grand Rapids when the Ford Museum opened.

[KayLhota] oh my Good Gosh

[Laura Leff] Brad - That sounds like a typical Hollywood story any more.

[Mike Amo] The funnier thing was NBC had a plan in case his jokes didn't work...several seconds of taped laughter by the auidience to ... nothing :D

[Brad from Georgia] The plot: The adults are away for the weekend, and guess what the kids decide to do?

[Laura Leff] Ford is now at his own museum. I wonder if he's going to be like Lenin.

[KayLhota]  

[Steve *shimp*] Chainsaws, Brad?

[Brad from Georgia] I TRIED to talk them out of it. I BEGGED to get out of my contract.

[Maxwell] Or Trigger.

[Laura Leff] Steve - I actually might have enjoyed seeing that.

[Mike Amo] I still want to see Trigger...they relocated the museum from Victorville to Branson

[Brad from Georgia] There it is to this day, with my name on the cover and everything. I didn't use to drink....

[Steve *shimp*] That's the one where the Olsen Twins go beat up homeless people for kicks, right?

[Brad from Georgia] Well, chainsaws were involved...

[Laura Leff] They all go to stay over at the Priest's house...

[Brad from Georgia] It was such a horrible, stale premise, but the editor thought it was great, a terrific idea. Adults away, kids party! Editor loved it. She was twelve.

[Laura Leff] Was the editor seriously 12?

[Brad from Georgia] Mentally.

[KayLhota] time for me to say goodnight.

[Maxwell] G'night Kay.

[Steve *shimp*] Night Kay!

[Laura Leff] OK, take care Kay

[Laura Leff] !

[KayLhota] thanks for everything

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[Brad from Georgia] I'd better go too. I've got Super Bowl Class tomorrow. See ya, all! It's been Quentin!

[Laura Leff] I think I'd like to call it quits myself. haven't had dinner yet

[Steve *shimp*] I'm about ready to sign off as well. Long day tomorrow!

[Laura Leff] OK, take care all and we'll see you next month!

[Maxwell] It's my bed time.

[Steve *shimp*] Good night all, see you next chat. Always a pleasure

[Mike Amo] Nite everybody